Escape!

It's days like today that I would like nothing more than to jump in my Land Rover and disappear for a few days deep into the wilderness, alone with my camera and a few bare necessities. Out of range of cell phone reception or modern communication networks.

Days like today when the pressure of making the right decisions becomes too heavy a burden to bear, I wish I could just run away and escape the responsibility of making said decisions which either way are going to upset people I care about. I hate hurting people, yet somehow that just seems to come naturally with me! I land myself in the middle of situations which inevitable cause somebody else anguish or inconvenience.

This story about Christmas, and cancelling out the expensive aspects to it, is really becoming awkward and uncomfortable. I'm dreading explaining to my parents that we won't be attending their usual Christmas events because of financial limitations due to the cost of putting Tammy into a better school. I simply can't afford the cost of buying gifts and expensive meals and long distance travel this year, but somehow, without even having faced the music, I'm feeling horribly guilty and foolish, like I'm letting everybody down and causing major inconveniences and unpleasantness, which is not the intention!

And here we have the type of reasons why I hate Christmas! It's never a happy time to look forward to, it's a miserable, stressful, depressing time riddled with guilt trips! I've not done anything wrong! Why do I feel so bad? And sad!

One of these days I'd like to write a blog about something happy and positive...