In light of my previous two blog posts, I made the tentative move of venturing onto the AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) website to do a bit of reading. I'm thinking it's about time to stop bitching about being an alcoholic and not wanting to be an alcoholic and not knowing what to do about it; and actually do something about it! It's clear that despite my cries for help, it's not going to come to me. Alcoholism is a very lonely and dark place, being shunned and judged by everybody else for being caught by the disease. People are quick to insult, criticize and bitch about alcoholics but nobody will bother to offer any help. That's my experience anyway, so I'm going to have to start clawing my way out of the bottle on my own.
I did previously go to the local Table View AA, I went to two meetings, and it didn't work for me. I felt like an outsider butting my way into a long established clique of old friends, I didn't feel comfortable. They had no welcome packs at the time but I was promised somebody would contact me when they had and to discuss a possible "sponsor". That never happened. It also felt like a church service with a room full of born-again Christians, with multiple prayer sessions. I am a Christian, "born-again" many years ago. Sure I don't go around preaching or living by the 10 commandments, but I am a believer, my relationship with God is a personal one. But in that particular environment I didn't feel comfortable. What I needed was help and advice and encouragement and support to stop drinking, not scripture lessons and prayers.
But, I've also realised that besides the AA there simply is no other support or help around for alcoholics, besides expensive rehab centres, which are absolutely not an option. So reluctantly I'm going to have to give the AA another try in the near future, or carry on drinking until it kills me.
I'm not keen to die just yet, and I feel that is coming soon if something is not done!
To be honest, the idea of going back there does make me nervous, incredibly so. Not because anybody might recognize me, because I doubt anybody noticed the last time I was there. It's a big step, a huge step, to actually attempt getting help to stop drinking and break free from this disease, because that's what it is - a disease that affects the mind and body. I'm honestly afraid, it's like walking away from a 22 year love/hate relationship. What will happen, how will I cope with NOT drinking at social functions. Truly, the idea of actually not drinking and being drunk and hungover again is exciting in some strange way, but I know that at the time, or even this evening in a few hours the cravings will be back and it will be incredibly difficult, and stressful, to not touch alcohol.
Besides, what do non-drinkers drink at parties? Besides sugar? Everything else except water has mountains of sugar, and I don't want the sugar. So what are the alternatives to alcohol? What are the incentives? Go to a party and drink water, milk or coffee all night? Sorry but that idea does not sound like barrels of fun!
But, somehow that will need to become a reality. I simply cannot drink in moderation, or drink minimal like a beer or two. Alcohol grips me and takes control just at the thought of a drink! Once that first drink crosses my lips I will be swigging out the whiskey bottle until I have no more memory of the night. Happens every time! And if I run out of booze I go insane. It's not cool, I'm ashamed of the person I am when I drink.
It needs to stop!
And I need to do some work...
Thursday, 31 March 2016
Another angry one, with sadness.
So I just read my blog from last night, I considered deleting it because of the bad language rant because of how that side of my personality offends people, but I've decided to leave it as it was written, here on my publicly viewable blog, not to offend the soft-cocks who don't like my dark side, but because that dark side is who I am and this blog is a reflection of the mad goings-on in my mind. Enough times in the past I've written a blog like that, angry and obscene, often fueled by alcohol like last nights one, read it the next day and deleted it out of embarrassment, thinking of the goodie goodies who will take offence. Honest thoughts lost to the sensitivities of others. These stories are always honest, but I'm gatvol of having to always try to control my demons for the benefit of other people who seem to take personal offence at much of what I say. Meantime those peoples reaction and offence offends me deeply, not that that matters! Classic example, the time I called jacob zuma a poes face on Facebook and my sister in-law took offence and lambasted me publicaly followed quickly by my mom jumping in that same boat and disowning me and my family for 3 years as a result of the insulting fight that ensued. Apparently I should have rather just shut up and apologized politely with my tail between my legs in submission to the clique who's opinions matter more.
But anyway, best not scratch open those old wounds again, they have barely healed, despite the ever present scars.
Point is, as much as I do make a concerted effort to close up and keep my real thoughts and personality caged up these days, I do go through times like this where the beast just needs to get out and flap it's wings in clear air for a while, release the pressure, until I can reel it back in and shut it back up again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, and despite being an alcoholic I don't know what my mental problems are (because the rest of judgmental society will see them as "problems", like bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD, or just plain fucking mad), but this angry, resentful, aggressive side to my personality is just part of the complete package. I know I'm generally a nice guy, a good guy with good intentions and a lot of love to give, and I'm an awesome father according to my awesome child; I just think I'm misunderstood. Hell I don't even understand much of what goes on in my head, or where it comes from!
Possibly part of the problem is the bear with a sore toe syndrome, or in this case, man with a hole in the arm. I had a large cyst the size of a golf ball cut out of my arm two days ago, resulting in a big hole gouged deep into my upper arm closed up with 14 stitches. It has been very painful and still is, to the point it's actually becoming outright annoying! I'm taking painkillers which make me sleepy and mess with my mood and concentration. Fueling this rant.
Or it could also be the onset of manopause, or a hangover, or both.
Who knows, who cares!
I'm still frustrated at being unable to create simple labels last night for my chili sauces. I bought sheets of stickers and used the corresponding template in MS Word to design them and despite the design looking stupidly amateurish I could not get the label template to print on the actual labels, wasting my time and a stack of expensive sheets of labels with only a bad temper tantrum to show for my efforts. I don't know what to do about this, I can't afford expensive designers and professional printers.
What I don't understand is why do I sit here hating the fact that I binge drink, feeling shit from the hangover, thinking quite logically that I'm an idiot for getting drunk again and doing such horrific damage to my body and mind (maybe had I been sober I'd have gotten those labels right), and I swear I'm going to stop this stupidity. This happens every time! Yet last night on the way home I clearly remember looking forward to that drink, the thought of it excited me, I couldn't wait to get home to the pleasure and joy of diving into that foul-tasting soul-destroying crap! I don't understand what controls my brain into being completely manipulated by that desire to drink to get drunk, day after day, despite knowing that there are large numbers of wrong reasons to drink compared to not one single logical good reason to drink! I could list a hundred reasons not to drink right now, and I could logically discredit any possible positive reason for drinking without much thought. Yet this evening none of that will be relevant as the next mindwash to get home and get soaked in whiskey takes over all rational thought!
I don't understand why this happens or how to stop it!
Anyway, I've calmed down. Now the next thing to happen is I will read through this and realise I'm making an arse of myself again and will consider deleting this post to the trash bin. If you have read through this then you'll know I decided against that.
Maybe I need to see a shrink. These blog entries are testament to that. But now I'm thinking "why"? Because that's what 'society' would suggest? Because that's the easy solution - flog off problematic people to strangers with degrees in psychology and rate the problem as being solved. Like euthanasing problem animals, except with humans that would be murder, even more highly frowned upon than institutionalizing the non-"normal". Like Sylvester the lion. He only wants to be free, be himself, as nature intended. For that he will probably be "put down" because he's going against the boundaries imposed by stupid humans! He doesn't want to be controlled, like I don't want to be controlled, yet I have to accept that I need to be controlled by psychology in order to be accepted by "other" people...
Not sure where that was going...
Anyway, I have work to do. Those bills don't pay themselves! And since I can't even make simple fucking bottle labels it's unlikely I'll ever have the aptitude or patience to run any kind of entrepreneurial business like selling sauces. So I best accept that this menial low-paying day job is the way the rest of my life will pan out! The deep depression which revelations like that instills in my mind frightens me! It's a lonely place in there.
Have a nice day!
Edit: Just as an afterthought... on the admin dashboard on my Blogger profile I can see how many people have read each blog, it counts the number of times a page is viewed on a unique computer or device by noting the IP address, and unless I share a post on my Facebook page then absolutely nobody reads them. So I don't know why I'm concerned about who reads these articles about my madness, because nobody even reads them. Except for the very first post nobody has ever commented in the comments section below each blog post (prove me wrong by leaving a comment below this one please!) I'm not sharing this post on Facebook, so I don't expect to see any comments.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa...
But anyway, best not scratch open those old wounds again, they have barely healed, despite the ever present scars.
Point is, as much as I do make a concerted effort to close up and keep my real thoughts and personality caged up these days, I do go through times like this where the beast just needs to get out and flap it's wings in clear air for a while, release the pressure, until I can reel it back in and shut it back up again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, and despite being an alcoholic I don't know what my mental problems are (because the rest of judgmental society will see them as "problems", like bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD, or just plain fucking mad), but this angry, resentful, aggressive side to my personality is just part of the complete package. I know I'm generally a nice guy, a good guy with good intentions and a lot of love to give, and I'm an awesome father according to my awesome child; I just think I'm misunderstood. Hell I don't even understand much of what goes on in my head, or where it comes from!
Possibly part of the problem is the bear with a sore toe syndrome, or in this case, man with a hole in the arm. I had a large cyst the size of a golf ball cut out of my arm two days ago, resulting in a big hole gouged deep into my upper arm closed up with 14 stitches. It has been very painful and still is, to the point it's actually becoming outright annoying! I'm taking painkillers which make me sleepy and mess with my mood and concentration. Fueling this rant.
Or it could also be the onset of manopause, or a hangover, or both.
Who knows, who cares!
I'm still frustrated at being unable to create simple labels last night for my chili sauces. I bought sheets of stickers and used the corresponding template in MS Word to design them and despite the design looking stupidly amateurish I could not get the label template to print on the actual labels, wasting my time and a stack of expensive sheets of labels with only a bad temper tantrum to show for my efforts. I don't know what to do about this, I can't afford expensive designers and professional printers.
What I don't understand is why do I sit here hating the fact that I binge drink, feeling shit from the hangover, thinking quite logically that I'm an idiot for getting drunk again and doing such horrific damage to my body and mind (maybe had I been sober I'd have gotten those labels right), and I swear I'm going to stop this stupidity. This happens every time! Yet last night on the way home I clearly remember looking forward to that drink, the thought of it excited me, I couldn't wait to get home to the pleasure and joy of diving into that foul-tasting soul-destroying crap! I don't understand what controls my brain into being completely manipulated by that desire to drink to get drunk, day after day, despite knowing that there are large numbers of wrong reasons to drink compared to not one single logical good reason to drink! I could list a hundred reasons not to drink right now, and I could logically discredit any possible positive reason for drinking without much thought. Yet this evening none of that will be relevant as the next mindwash to get home and get soaked in whiskey takes over all rational thought!
I don't understand why this happens or how to stop it!
Anyway, I've calmed down. Now the next thing to happen is I will read through this and realise I'm making an arse of myself again and will consider deleting this post to the trash bin. If you have read through this then you'll know I decided against that.
Maybe I need to see a shrink. These blog entries are testament to that. But now I'm thinking "why"? Because that's what 'society' would suggest? Because that's the easy solution - flog off problematic people to strangers with degrees in psychology and rate the problem as being solved. Like euthanasing problem animals, except with humans that would be murder, even more highly frowned upon than institutionalizing the non-"normal". Like Sylvester the lion. He only wants to be free, be himself, as nature intended. For that he will probably be "put down" because he's going against the boundaries imposed by stupid humans! He doesn't want to be controlled, like I don't want to be controlled, yet I have to accept that I need to be controlled by psychology in order to be accepted by "other" people...
Not sure where that was going...
Anyway, I have work to do. Those bills don't pay themselves! And since I can't even make simple fucking bottle labels it's unlikely I'll ever have the aptitude or patience to run any kind of entrepreneurial business like selling sauces. So I best accept that this menial low-paying day job is the way the rest of my life will pan out! The deep depression which revelations like that instills in my mind frightens me! It's a lonely place in there.
Have a nice day!
Edit: Just as an afterthought... on the admin dashboard on my Blogger profile I can see how many people have read each blog, it counts the number of times a page is viewed on a unique computer or device by noting the IP address, and unless I share a post on my Facebook page then absolutely nobody reads them. So I don't know why I'm concerned about who reads these articles about my madness, because nobody even reads them. Except for the very first post nobody has ever commented in the comments section below each blog post (prove me wrong by leaving a comment below this one please!) I'm not sharing this post on Facebook, so I don't expect to see any comments.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa...
Wednesday, 30 March 2016
Don't read this! Ok!
Right now I want so much just to be able to rant! I feel like shit and I'm grumpy as fuck and the only people who will listen are a very small group of my "friends" on my social media spaces, like this blog! I used to use facebook for my rants but apparently most people don't wanna know, apparently I've offended a lot of people, I've heard rumors that many people have unfollowed me, eg. my mom told me recently that my extended family discuss my online "behaviour" at family gatherings like Christmas, and not in a positive way. It seems the superficial appearances are far more important than real people. Although I do miss being part of a bigger family I'm also fine without them, I don't need or want to be judged for not conforming to the norm and have for years now distanced myself and my loved ones from that sort of soul corrosion. You get beaten off enough times you back off! I'm still not quite sure where I landed up being the family black sheep, it was never meant and intentions were always good and honest, but I suppose in every big family somebody needs to bear that dark title and I believe I wear that crown with many thorns.
So this is already getting to the level of getting me right back down deep in the shit of offending people, again not because I want to but because I'm fucking miserable right now and when I'm miserable it pisses people off! I had minor surgery yesterday which has been incredibly painful all day today, I had a shyte day at work, I've just spent my evening trying to design and create simple labels using simple Word templates matching the standard stationery sheets of expensive labels and it's not working and with all the painkillers in my system right now I'm just not fucking happy at the moment! My great ambition to make and sell awesome professionally presented chili sauces is just not going to plan! The sauces are made and bottled, but sitting in boxes in the garage, useless, because I cannot create simple fucking labels for them!
And this hole in my arm is burning like hell despite the whiskey and painkillers!
Why the fuck does it have to be so god damned impossible to make progress! I hate this drag of the menial unappreciated degrading day job that just drags one deeper into a recession as inflation drowns one in waves past the annual basic pay rise while the "correctly" connected soar to financial wealth! Just a small fucking break would be nice. Like labels that print correctly on a home printer so one can try sell a few simple sauces! It's not asking much!
So yeah, rant is feeling good, I still have this angry scowl etched on my face, I can feel it and I hate feeling this way but ranting in writing is in some fucked up way therapeutic!
To my regular, more conservative readers, please forgive my bad language, and don't abandon me as most of my family have. You know I've been trying to tone down my personality both here and on facebook. Sometimes it's just not easy keeping it all bottled! Let alone labelled! Haha see there's still the joker throwing a bone in...
Goodnight!
So this is already getting to the level of getting me right back down deep in the shit of offending people, again not because I want to but because I'm fucking miserable right now and when I'm miserable it pisses people off! I had minor surgery yesterday which has been incredibly painful all day today, I had a shyte day at work, I've just spent my evening trying to design and create simple labels using simple Word templates matching the standard stationery sheets of expensive labels and it's not working and with all the painkillers in my system right now I'm just not fucking happy at the moment! My great ambition to make and sell awesome professionally presented chili sauces is just not going to plan! The sauces are made and bottled, but sitting in boxes in the garage, useless, because I cannot create simple fucking labels for them!
And this hole in my arm is burning like hell despite the whiskey and painkillers!
Why the fuck does it have to be so god damned impossible to make progress! I hate this drag of the menial unappreciated degrading day job that just drags one deeper into a recession as inflation drowns one in waves past the annual basic pay rise while the "correctly" connected soar to financial wealth! Just a small fucking break would be nice. Like labels that print correctly on a home printer so one can try sell a few simple sauces! It's not asking much!
So yeah, rant is feeling good, I still have this angry scowl etched on my face, I can feel it and I hate feeling this way but ranting in writing is in some fucked up way therapeutic!
To my regular, more conservative readers, please forgive my bad language, and don't abandon me as most of my family have. You know I've been trying to tone down my personality both here and on facebook. Sometimes it's just not easy keeping it all bottled! Let alone labelled! Haha see there's still the joker throwing a bone in...
Goodnight!
Thursday, 24 March 2016
Dogs & stuff
I feel like writing up a blog post today but I don't know what I feel like writing about so this will just be another random waffle about nothing in particular.
I'll start with pictures of my dogs. The skinny one is Daisy-Belle, a 3-legged amputee that we adopted last month. Her leg was amputated because she had been so badly beaten that her leg was paralyzed and dragging on the ground causing open wounds. They had to amputate it. She also had cuts and sores from the abuse, and she came in to the shelter with a litter of puppies who were so ill they all died. She is really the sweetest dog and so happy to be with us. The fat one is Higgins, or Piggins, because he eats and grunts like an eternally hungry piglet. Also an awesome and very lovable mutt, an SPCA rescue. He's a Labradoodle.
The most exciting thing happening in my life at the moment is the Two Oceans half marathon two days from now. So guess what, you're about to read more about running, except my right hand hurts while I'm typing so this won't be too long. I hope it's not the early onset of gout or some other old-age related ailment where the bones fuse up and don't work properly. And yes, I am getting old, I'm almost 40!
Old-man hands aside, I'm really excited about this years Two Oceans, it's the first one I'm running where I'm going for a respectable finish time, not just to finish within the allocated time. My aim is for a 2 hour 10 minute finish. I had originally planned to go for a sub 2 hour finish but my training has not been sufficient and with all the foot traffic in the way that's unlikely. I'm seeded in group C so there won't be that many people behind me, unlike last year where we just made it to the back of group E as the cannon fired (we were late due to traffic), with 16,000 people in front of us (Colin, Marius and I) to work our way through. It took about 12 minutes just to cross the start line after the gun went off, that's 2km worth of time on the road. My mates are all back in group D this year, they start 10 minutes after me, and they have lots of people to get through. I think it's Colin's greatest ambition to ensure he catches me on the road. It's my mission to ensure he doesn't. He usually finishes the 10km races about 5 minutes ahead of me, which will equate to about 10 minutes over 21km, so he may be close, but he won't catch me this time. As for Marius, we'll all be waiting for him at the finish, though I'm well proud of the guy, firstly that he's actually doing this again despite his pain last year, and secondly he's been doing very well with his running lately. His wife Adriana is doing her first Oceans. She only started running a few months ago, she pulled off a 2h 15m for her first ever race, last years Gun Run 21.1km. That chick has a fast pair of legs on her but she's light and slender so she should be fast. I rate she'll do a similar time to mine, though 10 minutes behind because my group starts 10 minutes earlier than them. At least I manage to secure parking near the finish this year so we have a long walk to the start, but that's at least better than a long walk after the race, like the previous races! That's just kak!
Ja I'm really looking forward to this run, it will be nice to be competitive for the first time. It's always emotional for me finishing Oceans, though this will be my last half for a while, from next year I'm taking on the 56km Ultra. I can't wait to be fit enough to be able to run distances like that in respectable finish times.
From next week I'll find myself a running coach and start on a proper marathon training program to work up to the Cape Town Marathon in September, that will be my first full marathon.
I put too much Dynamite on my lunch, my face it burning.
I've actually messed up on my training this week, I had planned on at least one treadmill hill run at the gym yesterday but instead I've stayed home and drank too much for the last 3 days in a row so I've done no running, instead I've weakened myself a little. This is my biggest problem, and weakness, and the time is coming soon to find a way of dealing with this and stop the drinking. I don't yet know what or how, and I'll take any advice, but I need to can the bottle now. I've had enough of this shit, this self destruction that ruins everything else in my life including my running progress. I know if it weren't for the drinking I'd be much faster and fitter by now, that sub 2 hour wouldn't just be a possibility, it would be happening consistently at the 21km races by now. I'd be as fast or faster than Colin. This knowledge depresses me, and what do I do when I'm feeling down - I drink some more. I am deeply ashamed of this addiction to booze, but maybe being open about it, in a way shaming myself, will contribute towards making the psychological changes that will get me off of that poison! I need to! I want to! I just don't know how to stop!
I'm seriously gatvol of feeling hungover all the time!
So anyway, this last weekend was indeed a good one on the road. On Saturday I did the Ravensmeade 15km in a time of 1h 35m, did that one with Adriana (1h 30m). The pic below is with a fellow club member, Duncan. We're part of West Coast Athletic Club. And a pic of the medal.
Then on Monday's public holiday I did the Top Form 10km with Adriana, Marius & Colin. First time in ages the whole gang has run together, even though we all finish apart. At least I beat Adriana this time! LOL.
In other news, my Tammy is away this week spending some time with her grandparent. Since Sunday with my dad in Witsand, this morning she went to my mom in Somerset West. I'll fetch her on Saturday after the race, and I can't wait because I'm missing that kid like crazy!
Back to work for the last 3 hours of the day, and week, then we're off for a much needed 4 day weekend! As weekends should be!
Have a great Easter y'all!
I'll start with pictures of my dogs. The skinny one is Daisy-Belle, a 3-legged amputee that we adopted last month. Her leg was amputated because she had been so badly beaten that her leg was paralyzed and dragging on the ground causing open wounds. They had to amputate it. She also had cuts and sores from the abuse, and she came in to the shelter with a litter of puppies who were so ill they all died. She is really the sweetest dog and so happy to be with us. The fat one is Higgins, or Piggins, because he eats and grunts like an eternally hungry piglet. Also an awesome and very lovable mutt, an SPCA rescue. He's a Labradoodle.
 |
| Daisy-Belle |
 |
| Higgins |
The most exciting thing happening in my life at the moment is the Two Oceans half marathon two days from now. So guess what, you're about to read more about running, except my right hand hurts while I'm typing so this won't be too long. I hope it's not the early onset of gout or some other old-age related ailment where the bones fuse up and don't work properly. And yes, I am getting old, I'm almost 40!
Old-man hands aside, I'm really excited about this years Two Oceans, it's the first one I'm running where I'm going for a respectable finish time, not just to finish within the allocated time. My aim is for a 2 hour 10 minute finish. I had originally planned to go for a sub 2 hour finish but my training has not been sufficient and with all the foot traffic in the way that's unlikely. I'm seeded in group C so there won't be that many people behind me, unlike last year where we just made it to the back of group E as the cannon fired (we were late due to traffic), with 16,000 people in front of us (Colin, Marius and I) to work our way through. It took about 12 minutes just to cross the start line after the gun went off, that's 2km worth of time on the road. My mates are all back in group D this year, they start 10 minutes after me, and they have lots of people to get through. I think it's Colin's greatest ambition to ensure he catches me on the road. It's my mission to ensure he doesn't. He usually finishes the 10km races about 5 minutes ahead of me, which will equate to about 10 minutes over 21km, so he may be close, but he won't catch me this time. As for Marius, we'll all be waiting for him at the finish, though I'm well proud of the guy, firstly that he's actually doing this again despite his pain last year, and secondly he's been doing very well with his running lately. His wife Adriana is doing her first Oceans. She only started running a few months ago, she pulled off a 2h 15m for her first ever race, last years Gun Run 21.1km. That chick has a fast pair of legs on her but she's light and slender so she should be fast. I rate she'll do a similar time to mine, though 10 minutes behind because my group starts 10 minutes earlier than them. At least I manage to secure parking near the finish this year so we have a long walk to the start, but that's at least better than a long walk after the race, like the previous races! That's just kak!
Ja I'm really looking forward to this run, it will be nice to be competitive for the first time. It's always emotional for me finishing Oceans, though this will be my last half for a while, from next year I'm taking on the 56km Ultra. I can't wait to be fit enough to be able to run distances like that in respectable finish times.
From next week I'll find myself a running coach and start on a proper marathon training program to work up to the Cape Town Marathon in September, that will be my first full marathon.
I put too much Dynamite on my lunch, my face it burning.
I've actually messed up on my training this week, I had planned on at least one treadmill hill run at the gym yesterday but instead I've stayed home and drank too much for the last 3 days in a row so I've done no running, instead I've weakened myself a little. This is my biggest problem, and weakness, and the time is coming soon to find a way of dealing with this and stop the drinking. I don't yet know what or how, and I'll take any advice, but I need to can the bottle now. I've had enough of this shit, this self destruction that ruins everything else in my life including my running progress. I know if it weren't for the drinking I'd be much faster and fitter by now, that sub 2 hour wouldn't just be a possibility, it would be happening consistently at the 21km races by now. I'd be as fast or faster than Colin. This knowledge depresses me, and what do I do when I'm feeling down - I drink some more. I am deeply ashamed of this addiction to booze, but maybe being open about it, in a way shaming myself, will contribute towards making the psychological changes that will get me off of that poison! I need to! I want to! I just don't know how to stop!
I'm seriously gatvol of feeling hungover all the time!
So anyway, this last weekend was indeed a good one on the road. On Saturday I did the Ravensmeade 15km in a time of 1h 35m, did that one with Adriana (1h 30m). The pic below is with a fellow club member, Duncan. We're part of West Coast Athletic Club. And a pic of the medal.
Then on Monday's public holiday I did the Top Form 10km with Adriana, Marius & Colin. First time in ages the whole gang has run together, even though we all finish apart. At least I beat Adriana this time! LOL.
In other news, my Tammy is away this week spending some time with her grandparent. Since Sunday with my dad in Witsand, this morning she went to my mom in Somerset West. I'll fetch her on Saturday after the race, and I can't wait because I'm missing that kid like crazy!
Back to work for the last 3 hours of the day, and week, then we're off for a much needed 4 day weekend! As weekends should be!
Have a great Easter y'all!
Thursday, 17 March 2016
Daily Routines and side stories
Hello internet and the people who lurk behind it,
Seeing as I'm now on a daily basis baring all details of my life to you on this blog, I figured I may as well bore you with a breakdown of my boring daily weekday routine. It's boring as hell ('cos imagine
how boring hell must be, just burning and screaming in a fiery cave forever), so if this bores you then just go play on Facebook or something less boring, but documenting my boring life gives me something to think about for the duration of this script, thus breaking the bore briefly. Because for me boring is hell, I simply cannot just do monotonous, or worse, nothing, for any length of time!
But anyway, on to the exciting stuff...
My day starts at 04h40 when my pre-alarm goes off. Yes I'm one of those freaks who sets the alarm considerably earlier than necessary because firstly it breaks me out of a deep sleep, if it's one of those good nights when I'm in a deep sleep, but more importantly one of my favourite things is being able to fall asleep again even just for a few minutes. The snooze cycle repeats twice... twice I get to roll over into another blissful doze before reluctantly forcing my brain to drag my sorry ass out of bed.
Most days lately I don't sleep well from about the early hours, either because my mind is active and dreaming of all kinds of weirdness, or Wife is snoring like a bulldozer, or Daughter comes running and jumps into the bed when she goes to the toilet and gets frightened by the flush, and proceeds to push the blankets off or practice her ninja moves on me in her sleep.
At 06h00, at the third gentle melody of my alarm I get up, go do my ablutions, shower, then come back into the room 15 minutes later and wake Wife and get dressed.
Being the good man I am I let her sleep in peace for a whole long wonderful 15 minutes!
From that moment until we leave for work I have no idea what Wife is doing because I don't see her again until just before we leave at 06h00. In that time I make breakfast, either one of my incredibly deliciously awesome smoothies for the family, often including extra to take to work for lunch, or I make toast. My favourite toast bread is that Sasko honey & oats low-GI dumpy loaves, double toasted (makes the nicest airy crispy hot toast, the butter seeps right through it!!! Toast has either peanut butter, or my absolute favourite toast topping of Bovril and mayo, or one of each. Sometimes the mayo is swapped for cream cheese or cheddar cheese, but there's always Bovril. It's one of my weaknesses in life, I just love it. Back when I used to poison myself with two-minute-noodles I usually blopped in a dollop of Bovril and mayo, the rich noodle soup it makes is divine!
Besides breakfast, I also make lunch, often for Wife and I, be it a sandwich, or during the healthy phases (like we're starting now) a salad. Today we had leftover chicken stir fry made last night by Wife. No noodles, just veg, breasts (the chickens, not Wife's) and sauce, mine with extra chilli sauce of course, some of my last batch of Habanero sauce.
Then I clean up, wash dishes, take out the trash on bin days, open windows, switch off outside lights, check my Facebook and Whatsapps, and do whatever else is necessary to get ready to leave at 06h00. This is why for me it's always a rush to get done on time so if we leave late through no fault of my own (like an exploding blender full of smoothie) I get annoyed.
We used to aim to leave at 06h15 but lately with the increasing traffic out of our area congesting earlier and earlier I was coming in to work late more often, and I hate the humiliation of getting to work late. Leaving home 15 minutes earlier at 6 cuts off almost an hour from our travel time these days, on a normal day.
So at this point we hit the road for an hour or more of my absolute pet hate in life - traffic! Apart from the infuriating frustration of just having to sit in sloooow traffic, not able to do anything besides look at the ugly vehicle in front of me, listening to the radio or Wife waffling or moaning about something; the sheer volume of arrogant pricks, complete idiots and selfish, lawless reckless dickheads on our roads, making mine and the rest of the schmucks who politely wait our turn and obey the rules a nightmare. Having to helplessly watch people jump queue's, cut in, jump lights and generally show complete disregard to other motorists and blatant lack of manners, class or culture. As each journey through the nightmare continues my blood boils hotter and hotter to the point that I end up throwing tantrums and obscene hand gestures at the worst offenders personally inconveniencing me. I do get bouts of road rage, unfortunately poor old Wife bears the brunt of my anger as she has to put up with my bitching and foul language! Going to work in the mornings isn't so bad because we miss the worst of it, but travelling home in that shit after a long kak day at work just gets me in a bad mood! I hate hate hate the traffic and the moronic fucktards on the roads around here!
Deep breath, apologies for the rant. That is what just the thought of my journey home inspires - anger!
{jump a day in writing this)
Actually, I will go on to reiterate that my journey to work and back is the worst part of my life, I hate it more that I can express! It's a complete waste of precious time! I believe it is a time when Wife feels that she has me cornered in that uncomfortable claustrophobic little box on wheels and I'm often convinced it is her mission to make every journey a miserable one, she manages to upset me most of the time usually at the beginning of that hellish journey, which on days like this morning puts me in a seriously foul mood, especially when we are already running late so the stress of walking into work late and the massively increased traffic volumes actually ruins my day. I never start a day in a bad mood, in fact I'm actually quite a cheerful guy from the onset, but that gets changed for me and right now as I sit at my desk, embarrassed from having to walk in late and run the gauntlet past all the offices of work colleagues looking at me with that look in their faces of "look who's late again", I'm actually bloody miserable! That is why the tone of this blog has gone to shit, I just started this paragraph on a new morning because I was too busy to complete it yesterday when it started!
Another downside of being stuck in traffic, especially when I'm irritated or angry, one of those little things which I've always hated myself for, is nail biting. I bite my nails when I'm anxious or bored, most of the time I don't even realise I'm doing it until I hurt myself. This is not something I'm proud of, in fact I hate it and I wish it could stop. Sometimes it does, like during holidays or periods where I have some happiness hogging my mind, but the rest of the time I have this personal battle with one of the most revolting and embarrassing habits I've ever had. When I speak to people, like the parent teacher meeting on Wednesday, I consciously hide my hands or curl my fingers in to hide the shame. 99% of my nail biting happens when I'm stuck in traffic, trapped in that kak-box called the Atos, bored shitless, furious and pumped with hostile adrenaline at some other near miss by another retarded idiot on the road, or fuming and stewing after another attack from Wife with great effort to keep my mouth shut and my angry thoughts to myself. As countless scenarios, mental discussions (and arguments) and thoughts go through my mind I'll eventually realise I'm biting again. All it does is infuriate me further, it's not good for my mojo at all! I keep thinking I need to get that bitter enamel to paint on my fingers in the morning to try and discourage my idiot subconscious from chomping.
Ok, now I will breathe deep, gather my composure, cheer the funk up and chill the duck out. The original topic of this (now two day) blog about the daily routine can continue. We haven't even made it to work yet and it's already one of my longest stories ever. If anybody has even read this far in, I applaud you as a true friend and a legend! That or you just have a morbid fascination with the psychotic crap that comes out of my head!
Just while it's still early, going back to breakfast... my last blender died yesterday. The base of the jug cracked. Apparently you can't replace just that weak part, so I tried fixing it with duct tape, which didn't work. So it's joined the small appliance graveyard, on top of the scullery cupboard. Last night I raped my Game card with a new fancy heavy duty Russel Hobbs blender which got tested out on this mornings banana & mango smoothie and it works like a bomb! And it doesn't mess when pouring like the last cheapie. I almost look forward to using it again, almost as much as I look forward to my tea time smoothie (lunch today is salad. Yes, actual salad, with leaves & stuff!)
Yesterday at Game I realised I can buy my booze on my Game account. Probably not a good discovery, and the resulting mild hangover is not helping my mood today either.
Those of you who have known me for a while know about my battle with alcohol. It still controls and dictates much of my life. Yes I do want to give it up, every single day, and I don't understand why I can't. It's the most powerful (and destructive) addiction I've ever known by far. Giving up smoking, twice, was easy compared to the hold the booze has over me. I'm not going to make this blog into a whine about my alcoholism, like a previous one I had a few years ago. I thought that talking (well writing) about it might help, or may even have attracted some outside help, neither of which happened. I've realised there is no practical help around for this problem, the only thing that will stop it is myself, if I ever manage to garner the willpower to do so. Alcoholism is a very very lonely and sad place. I don't want it, I know I will be a better and happier person without it, and as I sit here writing this the idea of not drinking again sounds easy and excites me, but by this afternoon I know I'll be craving a drink again and the awful journey home in that nightmare traffic and the crap-outs/insults/lectures/etc from Wife will only push that craving to drink to a decision to drink, developing an actual excitement for that first swig of whiskey from the bottle which will render another evening wasted and another painful day tomorrow. I don't understand this, I don't know why this happens, it just does, and I hate myself for it!
That is all I will say on the matter.
So anyway, my day job starts at 07h30 officially. Traffic and morning routine dependent I like to be in the office by 7am or earlier. When traffic and morning routine works against me like this morning then I get here after 07h30 and as you read earlier that just pours petrol on the fire of my already bad mood!
My day job:
My official job title is Technical Manager, I work at a company called Pepkor Installations. We procure, manufacture and import equipment to do shopfitting for Pep stores, Ackermans, Dunns, Shoe City, John Craig, Jay Jays and some other brands. My department deals with Pep, a bigger contract than all the others combined It's a massive operation, we basically take an empty property and fit it out with everything from flooring & electrical, to stands, displays, shelving, till points, office, fitting rooms, store rooms, etc, everything you see in a store before it is staffed and merchandised.
My job involves heading up a department that receives the store design plans from Pep, which we convert into a bill of quantities of everything required to fit a new or revamped store, quantified down to the crews, nuts & bolts. We issue this BoQ to our warehouse which then fills a truck with the listed equipment which we send with a team of shopfitters to fit the store and get it ready to be merchandised and trade.
It's an interesting job, at times, though can be rather dull quite often too. Part of my role is preparing all documentation required for invoicing, that's the most boring part. Most months, for Pep alone, we are putting in 30 plus new stores a month across Africa, so it's a very busy operation that turns over many millions monthly.
I only wish the pay was a tad more reasonable. I really struggle to get by on this salary. But as an ageing white male in South Africa, jobs are far and few between so I'm not going to complain or make demands. White people get fired for protesting or striking in this country, unlike our black countrymen who can strike, riot and destroy & burn everything in sight in their quest to make demands for pay raises or free services (which the rest of "us" pay for) and usually they get their way. I'd be fired instantly and probably locked up for trying the same thing. Yet as the white guy I'm last in line for a job due to demographics and politics, and still I'm persecuted and threatened because I'm white and still get called a racist just for being white! This is how it works in South Africa these days. It's unfair and unjust, but there's nothing we can do about it, nor do we have the means to leave this hell hole, so we just shut up and do the jobs we're fortunate to have without bitching about it!
Well there you have my job in a nutshell. I won't bore you with the details of what I do all day, except I get a whopping half hour lunch break at 12h30, which really flies by, most of which is taken up by wolfing down my lunch while catching up with my Facebook, personal emails and other internet stuff. Except that has changed somewhat, since we have recently been blocked from accessing Facebook at work. It was unannounced, it just happened. Like the nanny state type of mind control that corporate businesses institute over their employees. I thought we were better than that, but apparently these guys also don't want people to have any acknowledgement of lives outside of work during working hours. So I'm now bound to my phone for Facebook, which is not ideal, it costs a fair bit of money in data, but it is what it is, so again, no use in complaining. Just shut up and swallow.
My working day finishes at 16h15 Monday to Thursday and at 15h00 of Fridays. That Friday early finish is great, when that hooter goes at 15h00 this place is deserted in seconds.If you walk out here at 15h01 you're the last one out by a minute!
The evening routine can obviously be more varied. I often go to the gym, or go for a run with the club and occasionally a midweek race. I don't often just go and run around our neighbourhood because I don't feel safe alone on the roads. Also, the greenbelts all over (thus the area name of Parklands) are not looked after so running on the footpaths are like trail running without the scenery and hills. The area is deadpan flat too. It's just boring running in the area, I prefer doing some hill training on the treadmill at the gym and getting a decent strength workout afterwards.
When I used to have a band going I'd go to band practice one or two evenings a week too. But the band doesn't happen anymore because of a dispute about the living arrangements between the bassist and singer, resulting in the bassist who owns all the PA gear having to move out of the band rehearsal house, so the singers dog has a nice home. All a disappointing mess, but hopefully something new will come along soon. Then I'll have a band to practice with again! The bassist is busy setting up at a new place in Durbanville so possibly the 3 guys from the last band will get a new project going soon at the new place. That will be cool, they're great guys to play with. Except that Durbanville is a bit far out of my way, which means more travel time and expense.
Otherwise in the evenings we'll sometimes stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy small amounts of absolutely necessary groceries. Food especially is so ridiculously expensive these days that one simply can't buy more than is absolutely necessary. Especially meats and fresh fruits & vegetables cost far too much to be able to eat proper healthy food all the time. Healthy eating guidelines suggest at least 5 portions of fruit & veg a day, if I get one I'm doing well! Though my smoothies do count for at least 3 on days when I make them.
I used to do most of the cooking at home but lately I just don't really feel like it much anymore. Not being able to afford all the ingredients to try out interesting hearty meals puts me off. Lately when I cook it's something like a pot of pasta that can provide dinner for at least 2 days and a couple of lunches at work for a few days. Don't get me wrong, my pasta's are fantastic, and they're easy and economical. Every now and then, especially just after pay day I'll get my cook on and whip up a good meal that the family seems to enjoy. I should actually get the cooking vibe going again and work on making some decent interesting dinners like I used to do.
This blog used to be called the Daily Noodle because for a long time I would often experiment with making interesting and delicious foods, it was enough to talk about frequently on its own blog, with pictures and descriptions. I don't know why I don't anymore, in fact these days in the evenings I don't feel excited to do anything interesting at home and I'm usually in bed by 9pm like an old fart. No that's got to change, I'm not that old, I'm still a thirty something, albeit only for two more months. I need to get back to being creative in the kitchen in the evenings.
That said, when the salary ship comes in again this month I will go and buy a load of stock of chillies and ingredients and get into making my sauces. Every now and then I'll put together a new recipe and spend an evening trying it and refining it until it's something awesome, or my tongue is dead from too much chilli and I can't taste what I'm making anymore. But that exercise will be fun. On a successful night I'll end up with another stock of a new product which I'll bottle, cost and market on my Facebook page, website or wherever I'll be selling them at the time. I've been doing the research and coming up with all kinds of interesting ideas for sauces, I will have an interesting range of products. The challenge will be marketing them and selling them in enough quantities to make the whole thing financially worthwhile.
Hey, this blog post wasn't meant to be about my semi-secret business ideas, but I doubt anybody has read this far so I'm not too worried. This is going to be a helluva entry to proof read when (if) it's ever finished! Or I might just carry on writing and writing and nobody will ever read this because it will be a permanent work in progress... or I will finish soon and get back to doing the job I'm paid to do (more likely scenario).
These business ideas I get really do get me excited. This chilli sauce thing I can't wait to get going on when I have some cash again to purchase the required stock, bottles, etc. I hope it takes off and people buy my stuff, and this idea doesn't just fade into obscurity having never taken off like my last great idea of importing technology from China. That was a big project, one that I spent many hours working on, I spent a fair bit of money on it, set up the Shopify website and Facebook page,, paid a graphic designer for the logo, sourced suppliers, set up the business bank account and got my business licence, etc, but it fell apart because of money, mainly. I was working on setting it up as a drop-shipping business to start off, ie. a customer would purchase something off my website. I would then purchase the item from the supplier in China who would then ship the product directly to my customer as if I'd sent it. In simplistic theory it's a great idea and one that's commonly used in civilised countries, especially the USA, but it turns out not very practical for me. Firstly it's a big risk for me from various angles. If the item gets lost or broken in the post or the supplier just takes my money and doesn't send anything, the loss is mine to bear. If the customer returns the product the shipping costs are mine. Also, customs taxes, when payable, are mine to pay. Then there's the issue of the ridiculously weak rand value against the dollar, buying things from China these days, albeit dirt cheap in world terms is still very expensive from here, so in order to make any profit I'd need to sell the products for a high price. I thank our shit-for-brains president Zuma for that hindrance to build a business! The other problem is the poor service in our postal service. When tracking the items I did purchase from the various suppliers in Hong Kong, Shenzen, etc overseas I could see that it takes between 1 and 3 days to reach the international sorting centre in Johannesburg. From there it's taken between 4 and 9 weeks to get to me in Cape Town. That's how long it takes them to sort, customs clear and distribute incoming international mail. It's quicker to order stuff by sea-freight. So obviously that poses a problem for drop-shipped orders, my customers will wait up to two months for their order, which can only be bad for business.
Ideally the best solution would be to buy in bulk, get the stuff shipped to me where I'll keep the stock and distribute directly to my customers per order. The shipping is much much cheaper than airfreight and the stock is cheaper to buy in bulk. The problem is I don't have the money to buy stock in bulk from overseas, and take the risks associated.
All that being said, this business idea is not dead, it's just sidelined for now. When my circumstances improve, maybe my chilli sauce business takes off and brings in some decent cash then I'll put some moola into this business (called Tamzel Gadgets) and get it going, even with just a few items and built it up on it's own steam until I'm running it out of a warehouse.
The idea started with importing Android based TV boxes and mini PC's for the purpose of turning people's regular TV's into smart TV's capable of streaming content from the internet like Netflix, or other home networked devices.
Like every other restriction in my life it comes down to money money money. Like they say, you need money to make money. Somehow I need to find ways of working around that.
One thing I do know is I need to get my own business(es) set up and going soon. I can't do this daily grind in traffic that's going to be the death of me to a menial unappreciated un-stimulating job working for a boss (well a whole lot of them) for a set meager salary that goes up each year by a lot less than inflation, in the process building up a bigger and bigger debt profile, for the rest of my working years. Because if that happens, and some day I retire from a job at a company with a small pension, having worked my ass off my entire life to help other people get rich, then this life will have been meaningless and wasted. I don't want to come to that realization someday when it's too late; so somehow I need to find a way of working for myself and earning my own money, and someday employ other people who's jobs contribute to my own family's wealth and survival. It would be nice to be reasonably rich someday, but I'll be happy with a comfortable debt-free life ending in a retirement where money will not be a worry!
This is the dream!
This has been a week of records for me, on Sunday I ran the furthest I've ever run in one session, and this is probably the longest blog post I've ever written!
But it's now time to end this stupidly long blog with a picture of my lunch; salad for a change:
Seeing as I'm now on a daily basis baring all details of my life to you on this blog, I figured I may as well bore you with a breakdown of my boring daily weekday routine. It's boring as hell ('cos imagine
how boring hell must be, just burning and screaming in a fiery cave forever), so if this bores you then just go play on Facebook or something less boring, but documenting my boring life gives me something to think about for the duration of this script, thus breaking the bore briefly. Because for me boring is hell, I simply cannot just do monotonous, or worse, nothing, for any length of time!
But anyway, on to the exciting stuff...
My day starts at 04h40 when my pre-alarm goes off. Yes I'm one of those freaks who sets the alarm considerably earlier than necessary because firstly it breaks me out of a deep sleep, if it's one of those good nights when I'm in a deep sleep, but more importantly one of my favourite things is being able to fall asleep again even just for a few minutes. The snooze cycle repeats twice... twice I get to roll over into another blissful doze before reluctantly forcing my brain to drag my sorry ass out of bed.
Most days lately I don't sleep well from about the early hours, either because my mind is active and dreaming of all kinds of weirdness, or Wife is snoring like a bulldozer, or Daughter comes running and jumps into the bed when she goes to the toilet and gets frightened by the flush, and proceeds to push the blankets off or practice her ninja moves on me in her sleep.
At 06h00, at the third gentle melody of my alarm I get up, go do my ablutions, shower, then come back into the room 15 minutes later and wake Wife and get dressed.
Being the good man I am I let her sleep in peace for a whole long wonderful 15 minutes!
From that moment until we leave for work I have no idea what Wife is doing because I don't see her again until just before we leave at 06h00. In that time I make breakfast, either one of my incredibly deliciously awesome smoothies for the family, often including extra to take to work for lunch, or I make toast. My favourite toast bread is that Sasko honey & oats low-GI dumpy loaves, double toasted (makes the nicest airy crispy hot toast, the butter seeps right through it!!! Toast has either peanut butter, or my absolute favourite toast topping of Bovril and mayo, or one of each. Sometimes the mayo is swapped for cream cheese or cheddar cheese, but there's always Bovril. It's one of my weaknesses in life, I just love it. Back when I used to poison myself with two-minute-noodles I usually blopped in a dollop of Bovril and mayo, the rich noodle soup it makes is divine!
Besides breakfast, I also make lunch, often for Wife and I, be it a sandwich, or during the healthy phases (like we're starting now) a salad. Today we had leftover chicken stir fry made last night by Wife. No noodles, just veg, breasts (the chickens, not Wife's) and sauce, mine with extra chilli sauce of course, some of my last batch of Habanero sauce.
Then I clean up, wash dishes, take out the trash on bin days, open windows, switch off outside lights, check my Facebook and Whatsapps, and do whatever else is necessary to get ready to leave at 06h00. This is why for me it's always a rush to get done on time so if we leave late through no fault of my own (like an exploding blender full of smoothie) I get annoyed.
We used to aim to leave at 06h15 but lately with the increasing traffic out of our area congesting earlier and earlier I was coming in to work late more often, and I hate the humiliation of getting to work late. Leaving home 15 minutes earlier at 6 cuts off almost an hour from our travel time these days, on a normal day.
So at this point we hit the road for an hour or more of my absolute pet hate in life - traffic! Apart from the infuriating frustration of just having to sit in sloooow traffic, not able to do anything besides look at the ugly vehicle in front of me, listening to the radio or Wife waffling or moaning about something; the sheer volume of arrogant pricks, complete idiots and selfish, lawless reckless dickheads on our roads, making mine and the rest of the schmucks who politely wait our turn and obey the rules a nightmare. Having to helplessly watch people jump queue's, cut in, jump lights and generally show complete disregard to other motorists and blatant lack of manners, class or culture. As each journey through the nightmare continues my blood boils hotter and hotter to the point that I end up throwing tantrums and obscene hand gestures at the worst offenders personally inconveniencing me. I do get bouts of road rage, unfortunately poor old Wife bears the brunt of my anger as she has to put up with my bitching and foul language! Going to work in the mornings isn't so bad because we miss the worst of it, but travelling home in that shit after a long kak day at work just gets me in a bad mood! I hate hate hate the traffic and the moronic fucktards on the roads around here!
Deep breath, apologies for the rant. That is what just the thought of my journey home inspires - anger!
{jump a day in writing this)
Actually, I will go on to reiterate that my journey to work and back is the worst part of my life, I hate it more that I can express! It's a complete waste of precious time! I believe it is a time when Wife feels that she has me cornered in that uncomfortable claustrophobic little box on wheels and I'm often convinced it is her mission to make every journey a miserable one, she manages to upset me most of the time usually at the beginning of that hellish journey, which on days like this morning puts me in a seriously foul mood, especially when we are already running late so the stress of walking into work late and the massively increased traffic volumes actually ruins my day. I never start a day in a bad mood, in fact I'm actually quite a cheerful guy from the onset, but that gets changed for me and right now as I sit at my desk, embarrassed from having to walk in late and run the gauntlet past all the offices of work colleagues looking at me with that look in their faces of "look who's late again", I'm actually bloody miserable! That is why the tone of this blog has gone to shit, I just started this paragraph on a new morning because I was too busy to complete it yesterday when it started!
Another downside of being stuck in traffic, especially when I'm irritated or angry, one of those little things which I've always hated myself for, is nail biting. I bite my nails when I'm anxious or bored, most of the time I don't even realise I'm doing it until I hurt myself. This is not something I'm proud of, in fact I hate it and I wish it could stop. Sometimes it does, like during holidays or periods where I have some happiness hogging my mind, but the rest of the time I have this personal battle with one of the most revolting and embarrassing habits I've ever had. When I speak to people, like the parent teacher meeting on Wednesday, I consciously hide my hands or curl my fingers in to hide the shame. 99% of my nail biting happens when I'm stuck in traffic, trapped in that kak-box called the Atos, bored shitless, furious and pumped with hostile adrenaline at some other near miss by another retarded idiot on the road, or fuming and stewing after another attack from Wife with great effort to keep my mouth shut and my angry thoughts to myself. As countless scenarios, mental discussions (and arguments) and thoughts go through my mind I'll eventually realise I'm biting again. All it does is infuriate me further, it's not good for my mojo at all! I keep thinking I need to get that bitter enamel to paint on my fingers in the morning to try and discourage my idiot subconscious from chomping.
Ok, now I will breathe deep, gather my composure, cheer the funk up and chill the duck out. The original topic of this (now two day) blog about the daily routine can continue. We haven't even made it to work yet and it's already one of my longest stories ever. If anybody has even read this far in, I applaud you as a true friend and a legend! That or you just have a morbid fascination with the psychotic crap that comes out of my head!
Just while it's still early, going back to breakfast... my last blender died yesterday. The base of the jug cracked. Apparently you can't replace just that weak part, so I tried fixing it with duct tape, which didn't work. So it's joined the small appliance graveyard, on top of the scullery cupboard. Last night I raped my Game card with a new fancy heavy duty Russel Hobbs blender which got tested out on this mornings banana & mango smoothie and it works like a bomb! And it doesn't mess when pouring like the last cheapie. I almost look forward to using it again, almost as much as I look forward to my tea time smoothie (lunch today is salad. Yes, actual salad, with leaves & stuff!)
Yesterday at Game I realised I can buy my booze on my Game account. Probably not a good discovery, and the resulting mild hangover is not helping my mood today either.
Those of you who have known me for a while know about my battle with alcohol. It still controls and dictates much of my life. Yes I do want to give it up, every single day, and I don't understand why I can't. It's the most powerful (and destructive) addiction I've ever known by far. Giving up smoking, twice, was easy compared to the hold the booze has over me. I'm not going to make this blog into a whine about my alcoholism, like a previous one I had a few years ago. I thought that talking (well writing) about it might help, or may even have attracted some outside help, neither of which happened. I've realised there is no practical help around for this problem, the only thing that will stop it is myself, if I ever manage to garner the willpower to do so. Alcoholism is a very very lonely and sad place. I don't want it, I know I will be a better and happier person without it, and as I sit here writing this the idea of not drinking again sounds easy and excites me, but by this afternoon I know I'll be craving a drink again and the awful journey home in that nightmare traffic and the crap-outs/insults/lectures/etc from Wife will only push that craving to drink to a decision to drink, developing an actual excitement for that first swig of whiskey from the bottle which will render another evening wasted and another painful day tomorrow. I don't understand this, I don't know why this happens, it just does, and I hate myself for it!
That is all I will say on the matter.
So anyway, my day job starts at 07h30 officially. Traffic and morning routine dependent I like to be in the office by 7am or earlier. When traffic and morning routine works against me like this morning then I get here after 07h30 and as you read earlier that just pours petrol on the fire of my already bad mood!
My day job:
My official job title is Technical Manager, I work at a company called Pepkor Installations. We procure, manufacture and import equipment to do shopfitting for Pep stores, Ackermans, Dunns, Shoe City, John Craig, Jay Jays and some other brands. My department deals with Pep, a bigger contract than all the others combined It's a massive operation, we basically take an empty property and fit it out with everything from flooring & electrical, to stands, displays, shelving, till points, office, fitting rooms, store rooms, etc, everything you see in a store before it is staffed and merchandised.
My job involves heading up a department that receives the store design plans from Pep, which we convert into a bill of quantities of everything required to fit a new or revamped store, quantified down to the crews, nuts & bolts. We issue this BoQ to our warehouse which then fills a truck with the listed equipment which we send with a team of shopfitters to fit the store and get it ready to be merchandised and trade.
It's an interesting job, at times, though can be rather dull quite often too. Part of my role is preparing all documentation required for invoicing, that's the most boring part. Most months, for Pep alone, we are putting in 30 plus new stores a month across Africa, so it's a very busy operation that turns over many millions monthly.
I only wish the pay was a tad more reasonable. I really struggle to get by on this salary. But as an ageing white male in South Africa, jobs are far and few between so I'm not going to complain or make demands. White people get fired for protesting or striking in this country, unlike our black countrymen who can strike, riot and destroy & burn everything in sight in their quest to make demands for pay raises or free services (which the rest of "us" pay for) and usually they get their way. I'd be fired instantly and probably locked up for trying the same thing. Yet as the white guy I'm last in line for a job due to demographics and politics, and still I'm persecuted and threatened because I'm white and still get called a racist just for being white! This is how it works in South Africa these days. It's unfair and unjust, but there's nothing we can do about it, nor do we have the means to leave this hell hole, so we just shut up and do the jobs we're fortunate to have without bitching about it!
Well there you have my job in a nutshell. I won't bore you with the details of what I do all day, except I get a whopping half hour lunch break at 12h30, which really flies by, most of which is taken up by wolfing down my lunch while catching up with my Facebook, personal emails and other internet stuff. Except that has changed somewhat, since we have recently been blocked from accessing Facebook at work. It was unannounced, it just happened. Like the nanny state type of mind control that corporate businesses institute over their employees. I thought we were better than that, but apparently these guys also don't want people to have any acknowledgement of lives outside of work during working hours. So I'm now bound to my phone for Facebook, which is not ideal, it costs a fair bit of money in data, but it is what it is, so again, no use in complaining. Just shut up and swallow.
My working day finishes at 16h15 Monday to Thursday and at 15h00 of Fridays. That Friday early finish is great, when that hooter goes at 15h00 this place is deserted in seconds.If you walk out here at 15h01 you're the last one out by a minute!
The evening routine can obviously be more varied. I often go to the gym, or go for a run with the club and occasionally a midweek race. I don't often just go and run around our neighbourhood because I don't feel safe alone on the roads. Also, the greenbelts all over (thus the area name of Parklands) are not looked after so running on the footpaths are like trail running without the scenery and hills. The area is deadpan flat too. It's just boring running in the area, I prefer doing some hill training on the treadmill at the gym and getting a decent strength workout afterwards.
When I used to have a band going I'd go to band practice one or two evenings a week too. But the band doesn't happen anymore because of a dispute about the living arrangements between the bassist and singer, resulting in the bassist who owns all the PA gear having to move out of the band rehearsal house, so the singers dog has a nice home. All a disappointing mess, but hopefully something new will come along soon. Then I'll have a band to practice with again! The bassist is busy setting up at a new place in Durbanville so possibly the 3 guys from the last band will get a new project going soon at the new place. That will be cool, they're great guys to play with. Except that Durbanville is a bit far out of my way, which means more travel time and expense.
Otherwise in the evenings we'll sometimes stop at the grocery store on the way home and buy small amounts of absolutely necessary groceries. Food especially is so ridiculously expensive these days that one simply can't buy more than is absolutely necessary. Especially meats and fresh fruits & vegetables cost far too much to be able to eat proper healthy food all the time. Healthy eating guidelines suggest at least 5 portions of fruit & veg a day, if I get one I'm doing well! Though my smoothies do count for at least 3 on days when I make them.
I used to do most of the cooking at home but lately I just don't really feel like it much anymore. Not being able to afford all the ingredients to try out interesting hearty meals puts me off. Lately when I cook it's something like a pot of pasta that can provide dinner for at least 2 days and a couple of lunches at work for a few days. Don't get me wrong, my pasta's are fantastic, and they're easy and economical. Every now and then, especially just after pay day I'll get my cook on and whip up a good meal that the family seems to enjoy. I should actually get the cooking vibe going again and work on making some decent interesting dinners like I used to do.
This blog used to be called the Daily Noodle because for a long time I would often experiment with making interesting and delicious foods, it was enough to talk about frequently on its own blog, with pictures and descriptions. I don't know why I don't anymore, in fact these days in the evenings I don't feel excited to do anything interesting at home and I'm usually in bed by 9pm like an old fart. No that's got to change, I'm not that old, I'm still a thirty something, albeit only for two more months. I need to get back to being creative in the kitchen in the evenings.
That said, when the salary ship comes in again this month I will go and buy a load of stock of chillies and ingredients and get into making my sauces. Every now and then I'll put together a new recipe and spend an evening trying it and refining it until it's something awesome, or my tongue is dead from too much chilli and I can't taste what I'm making anymore. But that exercise will be fun. On a successful night I'll end up with another stock of a new product which I'll bottle, cost and market on my Facebook page, website or wherever I'll be selling them at the time. I've been doing the research and coming up with all kinds of interesting ideas for sauces, I will have an interesting range of products. The challenge will be marketing them and selling them in enough quantities to make the whole thing financially worthwhile.
Hey, this blog post wasn't meant to be about my semi-secret business ideas, but I doubt anybody has read this far so I'm not too worried. This is going to be a helluva entry to proof read when (if) it's ever finished! Or I might just carry on writing and writing and nobody will ever read this because it will be a permanent work in progress... or I will finish soon and get back to doing the job I'm paid to do (more likely scenario).
These business ideas I get really do get me excited. This chilli sauce thing I can't wait to get going on when I have some cash again to purchase the required stock, bottles, etc. I hope it takes off and people buy my stuff, and this idea doesn't just fade into obscurity having never taken off like my last great idea of importing technology from China. That was a big project, one that I spent many hours working on, I spent a fair bit of money on it, set up the Shopify website and Facebook page,, paid a graphic designer for the logo, sourced suppliers, set up the business bank account and got my business licence, etc, but it fell apart because of money, mainly. I was working on setting it up as a drop-shipping business to start off, ie. a customer would purchase something off my website. I would then purchase the item from the supplier in China who would then ship the product directly to my customer as if I'd sent it. In simplistic theory it's a great idea and one that's commonly used in civilised countries, especially the USA, but it turns out not very practical for me. Firstly it's a big risk for me from various angles. If the item gets lost or broken in the post or the supplier just takes my money and doesn't send anything, the loss is mine to bear. If the customer returns the product the shipping costs are mine. Also, customs taxes, when payable, are mine to pay. Then there's the issue of the ridiculously weak rand value against the dollar, buying things from China these days, albeit dirt cheap in world terms is still very expensive from here, so in order to make any profit I'd need to sell the products for a high price. I thank our shit-for-brains president Zuma for that hindrance to build a business! The other problem is the poor service in our postal service. When tracking the items I did purchase from the various suppliers in Hong Kong, Shenzen, etc overseas I could see that it takes between 1 and 3 days to reach the international sorting centre in Johannesburg. From there it's taken between 4 and 9 weeks to get to me in Cape Town. That's how long it takes them to sort, customs clear and distribute incoming international mail. It's quicker to order stuff by sea-freight. So obviously that poses a problem for drop-shipped orders, my customers will wait up to two months for their order, which can only be bad for business.
Ideally the best solution would be to buy in bulk, get the stuff shipped to me where I'll keep the stock and distribute directly to my customers per order. The shipping is much much cheaper than airfreight and the stock is cheaper to buy in bulk. The problem is I don't have the money to buy stock in bulk from overseas, and take the risks associated.
All that being said, this business idea is not dead, it's just sidelined for now. When my circumstances improve, maybe my chilli sauce business takes off and brings in some decent cash then I'll put some moola into this business (called Tamzel Gadgets) and get it going, even with just a few items and built it up on it's own steam until I'm running it out of a warehouse.
The idea started with importing Android based TV boxes and mini PC's for the purpose of turning people's regular TV's into smart TV's capable of streaming content from the internet like Netflix, or other home networked devices.
Like every other restriction in my life it comes down to money money money. Like they say, you need money to make money. Somehow I need to find ways of working around that.
One thing I do know is I need to get my own business(es) set up and going soon. I can't do this daily grind in traffic that's going to be the death of me to a menial unappreciated un-stimulating job working for a boss (well a whole lot of them) for a set meager salary that goes up each year by a lot less than inflation, in the process building up a bigger and bigger debt profile, for the rest of my working years. Because if that happens, and some day I retire from a job at a company with a small pension, having worked my ass off my entire life to help other people get rich, then this life will have been meaningless and wasted. I don't want to come to that realization someday when it's too late; so somehow I need to find a way of working for myself and earning my own money, and someday employ other people who's jobs contribute to my own family's wealth and survival. It would be nice to be reasonably rich someday, but I'll be happy with a comfortable debt-free life ending in a retirement where money will not be a worry!
This is the dream!
This has been a week of records for me, on Sunday I ran the furthest I've ever run in one session, and this is probably the longest blog post I've ever written!
But it's now time to end this stupidly long blog with a picture of my lunch; salad for a change:
Have a nice day folks!
Wednesday, 16 March 2016
Zero
Looking at the big picture over Southern Africa as things are going now, I believe that if white people are evicted or exterminated from Africa as many black people, ANC & EFF big-mouths, and other white-hating South African racists will have (as threatened on many internet forums, violent protests, politicians slurs, etc), most of Africa's big wildlife too will be exterminated within a decade!! This because all the big game sanctuaries are sanctioned and protected by white / Western idealism of nature conservation. Africans see animals as fair game for food or financial reward only. There is no idea of saving for the future, it's all about greed for gain here and now. This is how I honestly see the way that most Africans think. Not all, of course, but most. It's an immediate survival thing, not an ethical or logical thing. Wild animals, from buck & bunnies to the Big 5 will be extinct within a decade, if whites are removed from Africa! Within 50 years most of Africa will be a desert, a wasteland comprised of emaciated cattle and starving people governed by corrupt, dirty, self-empowering governments like the ANC and Mugabe's cronies. Wildlife and ecotourism will be a thing of the past, the only physical evidence being pictures and the dusty decapitated & preserved heads of animals on the walls of countless American trophy hunters.
With the exception of Botswana, that is the only African country which takes the conservation of wildlife seriously. Unless corruption destroys Botswana like it will the rest of Africa, that country will become the wealthiest country in Africa someday!
This is not fact, it's my own personal thoughts, it's NOT intended as racist, it is more a concern for Africa's wildlife, which I care a great deal more for than the humans which plague this great continent!
With the exception of Botswana, that is the only African country which takes the conservation of wildlife seriously. Unless corruption destroys Botswana like it will the rest of Africa, that country will become the wealthiest country in Africa someday!
This is not fact, it's my own personal thoughts, it's NOT intended as racist, it is more a concern for Africa's wildlife, which I care a great deal more for than the humans which plague this great continent!
Tuesday, 15 March 2016
Diet. Again.
Howdy and welcome to the Daily Drumroll for another lunch-break-blog. Lunch today is extra smoothie from breakfast. When I make breakfast smoothies these days I always make extra to bring to work for tea or lunch. Today the smoothie is lunch. At tea time today I had a wonderful toasted tuna sandwich with lemon, salt & pepper, cheese and Bushmans Dynamite sauce. This sauce is by far the hottest chili sauce I know of locally available, everything else is tame in comparison, and I've tried many. This is part of my inspiration to create my own brand of hot sauce that will compete with the likes of the Dynamite and possibly be even hotter. Mine won't just be a blend of locally grown common red chilies & Habanero's, It will be like concentrated molten lava in little bottles that will only be suitable for the bravest chilli-heads.
Opinion poll: is it spelled "chili" or "chilli"? Different sources use either. I'm still deciding, though I might be myself and go for "chillee".
Oh, and I lied. I had two tuna sandwiches at tea time. They were sooo good!
My smoothie recipe, no secrets here for those interested, is my own version of a banana and peanut butter bomb, lots of both ingredients with double cream yoghurt (plain, unsweetened), milk, mixed berry juice, cinnamon, coconut oil, oats & Future Life cereal. Blended up it's a smooth creamy healthy glass of energy.
Bit of a disaster this morning though, my smoothie maker is busted, the base of the jug part is broken. I managed to tape it up quite firmly to make this mornings smoothie but it was an impractical and messy affair. This means no more smoothies until the next salary ship docks in my bank account, which is in 10 days time.
This kind of messes with my next mission, and the theme of this blog - a new phase of diet...
Yes I know you've all heard this from me before, how many times have I gone on the old diet and made a big noise about it like it's the biggest thing ever to happen, only for it to fade away after a month or three. But for me and my family it is a big deal because it's expensive and takes a lot of effort and perseverance, especially since it's never properly coordinated unless I'm making all the food, which gets tedious. If not the family goes off sideways and eats all kinds of other crap.
Our diets usually comprise of healthy breakfast smoothies. That will have to make way for Wheetbix for the next week & a bit. Otherwise the mission is to cut out the carbs and sugars, especially wheat, bread, rice, pasta, most potatoes, and bad saturated and trans fats. And of course cut out as much sugar as possible, which is almost impossible since most processed, bottled, manufactured foods and drinks contain sugars from all soft drinks to all condiments. We have to try to be as natural as possible and go for more fresh vegetables, some fruits (most fruits are full of sugar), proteins, lean meats, eggs, salads, fibre and a balance of good poly- and monounsaturated fats (eg. Avo, one of my favourite things!)
I do enjoy the healthy eating because it does make a difference to my weight, and the healthy eating makes me feel noticeably healthier, energized, stronger, etc. The downside is that it's expensive and preparing meals takes a lot longer. I tend to go through phases where I enjoy the cooking and getting creative with hearty healthy foods. It's just that right at the moment I'm not in a good space financially, I cannot afford all the good stuff which is disheartening and frustrating and demotivating.
This is one of the ways where mankind has gone wrong, we've made good healthy natural foods ridiculously expensive and out of reach to most of the human population, instead humanity is being force fed wheat & grain products, GMO's and generally unhealthy carbohydrate loaded foods. Like bread, it's cheap and widespread, but it contributes to mass gross obesity. Healthy foods are reserved for the wealthy!
All that being said, we've done this before and we'll do it again. Fortunately the wife has decided to join in on the diet so I'm not the lone salmon fighting against the current of junk food, I hope she's serious so we can make this happen so the whole family can eat right again. We'll just need to figure out ways of making it affordable and practical.
Despite all the running and exercise I get I still can't get rid of the belly because of all the carbs. If we can drop the carbs and sugars, that alone with the running and the kilo's will fall off quickly! I need that to happen if my running is going to improve!
One thing I'm not keen for though is salads for lunches again. I need to find practical ways of getting creative with lunches because after a while of eating salads I start hating them, in particular the leaves. I've eaten so much lettuce over the last few years it's a wonder I haven't grown long ears and fur on my feet. It's fairly quick to whip a salad together but man I hate the lettuce!
Another project I've been meaning to take on and just haven't gotten round to yet is planting a veg and herb garden. That could at least save a few bucks on food if I can get it growing and successfully cultivate some respectable harvests. But I'm a bit late now because we're about to go into winter, and I'm not much of a fan of gardening at the best of times. Still, it will happen sometime in the near future, albeit in phases.
Back to work...
Opinion poll: is it spelled "chili" or "chilli"? Different sources use either. I'm still deciding, though I might be myself and go for "chillee".
Oh, and I lied. I had two tuna sandwiches at tea time. They were sooo good!
My smoothie recipe, no secrets here for those interested, is my own version of a banana and peanut butter bomb, lots of both ingredients with double cream yoghurt (plain, unsweetened), milk, mixed berry juice, cinnamon, coconut oil, oats & Future Life cereal. Blended up it's a smooth creamy healthy glass of energy.
Bit of a disaster this morning though, my smoothie maker is busted, the base of the jug part is broken. I managed to tape it up quite firmly to make this mornings smoothie but it was an impractical and messy affair. This means no more smoothies until the next salary ship docks in my bank account, which is in 10 days time.
This kind of messes with my next mission, and the theme of this blog - a new phase of diet...
Yes I know you've all heard this from me before, how many times have I gone on the old diet and made a big noise about it like it's the biggest thing ever to happen, only for it to fade away after a month or three. But for me and my family it is a big deal because it's expensive and takes a lot of effort and perseverance, especially since it's never properly coordinated unless I'm making all the food, which gets tedious. If not the family goes off sideways and eats all kinds of other crap.
Our diets usually comprise of healthy breakfast smoothies. That will have to make way for Wheetbix for the next week & a bit. Otherwise the mission is to cut out the carbs and sugars, especially wheat, bread, rice, pasta, most potatoes, and bad saturated and trans fats. And of course cut out as much sugar as possible, which is almost impossible since most processed, bottled, manufactured foods and drinks contain sugars from all soft drinks to all condiments. We have to try to be as natural as possible and go for more fresh vegetables, some fruits (most fruits are full of sugar), proteins, lean meats, eggs, salads, fibre and a balance of good poly- and monounsaturated fats (eg. Avo, one of my favourite things!)
I do enjoy the healthy eating because it does make a difference to my weight, and the healthy eating makes me feel noticeably healthier, energized, stronger, etc. The downside is that it's expensive and preparing meals takes a lot longer. I tend to go through phases where I enjoy the cooking and getting creative with hearty healthy foods. It's just that right at the moment I'm not in a good space financially, I cannot afford all the good stuff which is disheartening and frustrating and demotivating.
This is one of the ways where mankind has gone wrong, we've made good healthy natural foods ridiculously expensive and out of reach to most of the human population, instead humanity is being force fed wheat & grain products, GMO's and generally unhealthy carbohydrate loaded foods. Like bread, it's cheap and widespread, but it contributes to mass gross obesity. Healthy foods are reserved for the wealthy!
All that being said, we've done this before and we'll do it again. Fortunately the wife has decided to join in on the diet so I'm not the lone salmon fighting against the current of junk food, I hope she's serious so we can make this happen so the whole family can eat right again. We'll just need to figure out ways of making it affordable and practical.
Despite all the running and exercise I get I still can't get rid of the belly because of all the carbs. If we can drop the carbs and sugars, that alone with the running and the kilo's will fall off quickly! I need that to happen if my running is going to improve!
One thing I'm not keen for though is salads for lunches again. I need to find practical ways of getting creative with lunches because after a while of eating salads I start hating them, in particular the leaves. I've eaten so much lettuce over the last few years it's a wonder I haven't grown long ears and fur on my feet. It's fairly quick to whip a salad together but man I hate the lettuce!
Another project I've been meaning to take on and just haven't gotten round to yet is planting a veg and herb garden. That could at least save a few bucks on food if I can get it growing and successfully cultivate some respectable harvests. But I'm a bit late now because we're about to go into winter, and I'm not much of a fan of gardening at the best of times. Still, it will happen sometime in the near future, albeit in phases.
Back to work...
Igniting burning ideas...
So I'm scheming and plotting out a fiery new plan. A small business idea with red-hot ambitions. For now I'll be keeping this scorcher in my head, we can't be burning bridges by giving away these blazing secrets for others to exploit and incinerate.
It's still a fairly fresh idea simmering in my head, but when it sparks off it will start with a flicker and hopefully conflagrate into an inferno of a business if this idea goes to plan.
The only hint I will give is this picture of a Carolina Reaper:
Behold - the new age of ringburn...
It's still a fairly fresh idea simmering in my head, but when it sparks off it will start with a flicker and hopefully conflagrate into an inferno of a business if this idea goes to plan.
The only hint I will give is this picture of a Carolina Reaper:
Behold - the new age of ringburn...
Monday, 14 March 2016
A quickie
I was just browsing through a couple of other random blogs. On the top of this blog screen is a menu bar with the link "next blog", this link takes you to random blogs by other people. It's quite interesting to see what different people from different places with different interests blog about. One thing I have realised is that my own blogs are incredibly long-winded. Long stories about nonsense. But that's just how I am - I type very fast as the thoughts flow from my head into my fingers. The blog I posted previously, the lunch waffle, was done in the half hour I have allocated as a lunch break. It's mostly nonsense because if comes out quick. I'll then proof read for spelling and grammar accuracy and add in a photo or two and bang - publish.
I doubt too many people read these blogs, I can see that by the view count in my blogs admin dashboard, but that's ok, I'm going through one of those storytelling phases where I feel I'm chatting to an invisible audience, whether there is one or not. No doubt, as it goes with me, this phase will fade again soon as my ever adventurous imagination takes me onto the next fascination and obsession that pops out of nowhere.
Hopefully I'll keep on with this blog because it's actually quite therapeutic. Like this one, I had no plans of writing any of what I'm banging out on my keyboard right now, it's just what's coming out.
It would be so awesome if my mind had some kind of bionic reader that could take my thoughts and digitally translate them into chapters and stories like this blog, I reckon I'd make quite an interesting read, albeit corny as the best of them!
The point of this post was about other people's blogs, I'm going to make an effort to browse through a couple as often as time allows, it's really fascinating to see the honest insights into people's lives, as they choose to share them online. There are very interesting people out there, especially Americans. They seem to be living such safe secure family lives in freedom, without all the dread and drama we have to put up with here in SA. Families playing in parks, kids playing out in the gardens, affordable access to all things cool. People look happy because they appear to be free, not imprisoned in their homes like we are. Look I love this country but the people here are fucked up, every day reading and hearing about the racist violence, crime, threats of white genocide etc, terrifies me. Racism here only works one way, and as a white person I'm on the wrong end of that stick. Reading about these safe happy lives in suburban America makes me kind of jealous. Life and economics there are not governed by race and corruption. Given the opportunity I'd pack up my family and move there in a flash and not come back to this corrupt hell hole. One of my my big personal magnets to this place is wild Africa, the bush, the wildlife, birds and awesome roughness of Africa. But pretty soon all of that will be gone (ironically partly to the money and guns of wealthy American hunters - a fact that disheartens me greatly, I don't mean to be a traitor to my beloved Africa and jump in bed with some of her killers), and all that will be left are billions of cruel murderous desperately hungry people hating us of European ancestry. All the time, entire families are bludgeoned to death in race crimes that go unnoticed and not acknowledged for what they are.There are few safe places here anymore. The cities are the worst, you have to watch your back all the time!
Unfortunately though, due to our personal circumstances we are stuck here, but when Tammy is old enough I will sell everything I have including my soul to ship her out of this country for a better safer life elsewhere in the civilised world. She deserves better than the constant threat of violence through crime.
Ok that little rant wasn't planned, but like everything I write it's from the heart and echoes my sentiments at the time.
But never mind, despite my fantasies, normal life and routine must go on. I need to go feed my family, then I'll relax and download the latest episodes of the currently airing TV series'.
I doubt too many people read these blogs, I can see that by the view count in my blogs admin dashboard, but that's ok, I'm going through one of those storytelling phases where I feel I'm chatting to an invisible audience, whether there is one or not. No doubt, as it goes with me, this phase will fade again soon as my ever adventurous imagination takes me onto the next fascination and obsession that pops out of nowhere.
Hopefully I'll keep on with this blog because it's actually quite therapeutic. Like this one, I had no plans of writing any of what I'm banging out on my keyboard right now, it's just what's coming out.
It would be so awesome if my mind had some kind of bionic reader that could take my thoughts and digitally translate them into chapters and stories like this blog, I reckon I'd make quite an interesting read, albeit corny as the best of them!
The point of this post was about other people's blogs, I'm going to make an effort to browse through a couple as often as time allows, it's really fascinating to see the honest insights into people's lives, as they choose to share them online. There are very interesting people out there, especially Americans. They seem to be living such safe secure family lives in freedom, without all the dread and drama we have to put up with here in SA. Families playing in parks, kids playing out in the gardens, affordable access to all things cool. People look happy because they appear to be free, not imprisoned in their homes like we are. Look I love this country but the people here are fucked up, every day reading and hearing about the racist violence, crime, threats of white genocide etc, terrifies me. Racism here only works one way, and as a white person I'm on the wrong end of that stick. Reading about these safe happy lives in suburban America makes me kind of jealous. Life and economics there are not governed by race and corruption. Given the opportunity I'd pack up my family and move there in a flash and not come back to this corrupt hell hole. One of my my big personal magnets to this place is wild Africa, the bush, the wildlife, birds and awesome roughness of Africa. But pretty soon all of that will be gone (ironically partly to the money and guns of wealthy American hunters - a fact that disheartens me greatly, I don't mean to be a traitor to my beloved Africa and jump in bed with some of her killers), and all that will be left are billions of cruel murderous desperately hungry people hating us of European ancestry. All the time, entire families are bludgeoned to death in race crimes that go unnoticed and not acknowledged for what they are.There are few safe places here anymore. The cities are the worst, you have to watch your back all the time!
Unfortunately though, due to our personal circumstances we are stuck here, but when Tammy is old enough I will sell everything I have including my soul to ship her out of this country for a better safer life elsewhere in the civilised world. She deserves better than the constant threat of violence through crime.
Ok that little rant wasn't planned, but like everything I write it's from the heart and echoes my sentiments at the time.
But never mind, despite my fantasies, normal life and routine must go on. I need to go feed my family, then I'll relax and download the latest episodes of the currently airing TV series'.
Monday Lunch Waffle
You can tell I start off these lunch time blogs with no clear topic in mind by the heading, which often includes what day of the week it is or what I'm doing at the time. But once I start writing it morphs into shape.
Like this one.
So yeah, it's another boring Monday at the office, Right now I'm munching on leftover braai from last night for lunch with a few potatoes nuked this morning, it's all rather quite delicious. One thing I'm really missing these days is avocado's. There are avo's around but firstly they're pathetic manky undersized excuses for avo's that cost a small fortune, I've seen them around at over R20 an avo, not all that uncommon at that sort of price, and sorry but even if I was wealthy I wouldn't pay that. It's just ridiculous. So that's one of the things I look forward to about winter is decent avo's again at reasonable prices. I also look forward to winter because the ants that terrorize us all summer bugger off for a few months, back to hell to spend the winter months spawning many more trillions of them little black demons and scheming up more annoying ways to get into everything in vast numbers all summer with the pure intention of making life in the home a constant hell! Oh, and flies, they disappear with the ants, no doubt to the same place!
My chicken drumstick is snapped in half. It's strange I know, but there's just something that creeps me out about that. I realise that chicken died so I could eat it, and for that I really do feel bad and I thank the chicken for it's ultimate sacrifice for my benefit, but the thought crosses my mind that perhaps it's leg was broken before it died through cruel mishandling by the farm workers. As an animal lover of all animals except ants and flies (I don't mind mosquitoes, they don't come near me) I abhor cruelty of any kind towards any living creature. I speak out strongly against trophy hunting and poaching and I subscribe to numerous Facebook forums that speak out against all that. But one conversation I don't get caught with is the one about "but you eat meat", etc. Yes I eat meat, I enjoy my meat, humans are omnivores by nature which means we kill food animals to eat and feed our families. Therefore the farming of domesticated livestock for the purposes of food and the sustainable hunting of food animals like common antelope I don't have an issue with, providing the animals are killed as quickly and humanely as possible with minimal suffering. So, I don't like the idea that my food had to suffer for me.
But, that chicken's other leg was in-tact and delicious!
On Saturday I took the family including mom-outlaw and brother-outlaw (Tammy's uncle) to Ratanga Junction theme park, we were there for almost 6 hours. (There's a few photo's below taken with my phone.) That's 6 hours in the sun, standing in queue's for rides that last for only a couple of seconds or minutes. The thought came to mind at some point that if aliens ever came to see what we get up to they would be rather dumbstruck as to what the "dominant" species on this planet puts themselves through for recreation. Waiting long periods in uncomfortable surroundings to get thrown around violently on a dangerous roller coaster for a few seconds in hindsight seems like a rather silly thing to do. Despite that I queued to go on the Cobra 3 times and the same for Monkey Falls, which is really just a boat that gets shunted around a water channel with a few splashes along the way.
Anyway, it was a good day out with the family and Tammy had an absolute ball! She is only just still too small to go on the Cobra and the big dipper thing. By the year end summer holidays she'll be able to go on those.
Tammy's sleepover didn't happen. Our friends cancelled on us. Which was fine, though I was rather peeved that we still invited them over for a braai on Sunday, part of the original plan, they promised to confirm later on Saturday and just never did. As far as I'm concerned that's just effing rude. Even a text message with apologies would suffice, but we kept our Sunday free for that and just to be left hanging without word is just not cool!
They are good friends though, him and I go way back, so we'll probably move past this. But for now I'm annoyed!
So this pesky day job thing, I best get back to it, lunch break is over.
And I didn't even mention anything about running in this post, except in this sentence! LOL.
Like this one.
So yeah, it's another boring Monday at the office, Right now I'm munching on leftover braai from last night for lunch with a few potatoes nuked this morning, it's all rather quite delicious. One thing I'm really missing these days is avocado's. There are avo's around but firstly they're pathetic manky undersized excuses for avo's that cost a small fortune, I've seen them around at over R20 an avo, not all that uncommon at that sort of price, and sorry but even if I was wealthy I wouldn't pay that. It's just ridiculous. So that's one of the things I look forward to about winter is decent avo's again at reasonable prices. I also look forward to winter because the ants that terrorize us all summer bugger off for a few months, back to hell to spend the winter months spawning many more trillions of them little black demons and scheming up more annoying ways to get into everything in vast numbers all summer with the pure intention of making life in the home a constant hell! Oh, and flies, they disappear with the ants, no doubt to the same place!
My chicken drumstick is snapped in half. It's strange I know, but there's just something that creeps me out about that. I realise that chicken died so I could eat it, and for that I really do feel bad and I thank the chicken for it's ultimate sacrifice for my benefit, but the thought crosses my mind that perhaps it's leg was broken before it died through cruel mishandling by the farm workers. As an animal lover of all animals except ants and flies (I don't mind mosquitoes, they don't come near me) I abhor cruelty of any kind towards any living creature. I speak out strongly against trophy hunting and poaching and I subscribe to numerous Facebook forums that speak out against all that. But one conversation I don't get caught with is the one about "but you eat meat", etc. Yes I eat meat, I enjoy my meat, humans are omnivores by nature which means we kill food animals to eat and feed our families. Therefore the farming of domesticated livestock for the purposes of food and the sustainable hunting of food animals like common antelope I don't have an issue with, providing the animals are killed as quickly and humanely as possible with minimal suffering. So, I don't like the idea that my food had to suffer for me.
But, that chicken's other leg was in-tact and delicious!
On Saturday I took the family including mom-outlaw and brother-outlaw (Tammy's uncle) to Ratanga Junction theme park, we were there for almost 6 hours. (There's a few photo's below taken with my phone.) That's 6 hours in the sun, standing in queue's for rides that last for only a couple of seconds or minutes. The thought came to mind at some point that if aliens ever came to see what we get up to they would be rather dumbstruck as to what the "dominant" species on this planet puts themselves through for recreation. Waiting long periods in uncomfortable surroundings to get thrown around violently on a dangerous roller coaster for a few seconds in hindsight seems like a rather silly thing to do. Despite that I queued to go on the Cobra 3 times and the same for Monkey Falls, which is really just a boat that gets shunted around a water channel with a few splashes along the way.Anyway, it was a good day out with the family and Tammy had an absolute ball! She is only just still too small to go on the Cobra and the big dipper thing. By the year end summer holidays she'll be able to go on those.
Tammy's sleepover didn't happen. Our friends cancelled on us. Which was fine, though I was rather peeved that we still invited them over for a braai on Sunday, part of the original plan, they promised to confirm later on Saturday and just never did. As far as I'm concerned that's just effing rude. Even a text message with apologies would suffice, but we kept our Sunday free for that and just to be left hanging without word is just not cool!
They are good friends though, him and I go way back, so we'll probably move past this. But for now I'm annoyed!
So this pesky day job thing, I best get back to it, lunch break is over.
And I didn't even mention anything about running in this post, except in this sentence! LOL.
 |
| Brother-in-law, Daughter, Wife & Mother-in-law |
Milkwood Half with Hammy cramps
So, yesterday I ran the Milkwood half marathon plus a bit extra, as my Polar GPS watch suggested it was 21.47km in total, effectively making it the longest distance I've ever run in one session in almost 40 years. My time 2 hours, 15 minutes & 51 seconds. My running mate Colin, AKA The Flash, finished 5 minutes ahead of me.At these organised road races everybody is split into categories by age. There are usually prizes for the top 3 per category. Until I turn 40 I'm in the Senior category (age 20 to 39) at road races, from the 19th May I move up to the Masters category, in other words the Old Toppies. I'll be racing the grandpa's! This upsets me immensely, I don't want to be old, even less so be one of the youngest in the old-age category and still get beaten by the geriatrics with 100 years of running experience!
We made the long journey out there in my stoopid little Atos, fortunately we had the good sense to start early (I was up at 4am on a Sunday morning, cursing myself at the time), we got there an hour early at 5.30am which was a good move because we managed to park quite close to the finish. Despite it still being dark and drizzling at the time we we were amped for the race, last big training before Two Oceans next Saturday.
It was another fantastic race in another of the Cape's stunning scenic locations along the Southern Peninsula between Kommetjie and Scarborough, starting and ending at the Soetwater resort in the middle. The run itself did feel longer than it was because despite the beautiful scenery it was the same all the way, particularly the stretch between Kommetjie and Scarborough, one loooong road with mountain on one side, sea on the other and a whole lot of road full of runners in front, so it did get a bit dull at times. I did though have my music again which was great for the most part, except the cable for the headphones became annoying, they kept getting caught up under my armpit and contributed to the bad chafe I get under the arms. I eventually took them off and did the last few kilometers with only the beat of my feet pounding the road as music, which was also nice at the time.Talking of chafe, the usual terror-chafe I get on my upper thighs just under the groin was non existent, thanks to a pair of sports technical underwear I bought on Saturday. These things were fantastic, they're comfortable and kept me dry and totally friction free. How I didn't know of these things before is just bizarre, although I should know that the cotton jocks I was wearing before would cause chafe, as cotton does! So that's one more chafe conquered, like plasters on the titties, another bit of vital running apparel. Now I just need to figure out a cure for the horrible under arm chafe, which has the double whammy of burning a second time after I shower and spray deodorant on having forgotten the chafe.That shit really burns like fire!
The interesting thing about this race is we didn't get medals at the end, instead we got saplings of indigenous trees, I think it's Wild Olive. I was a bit annoyed at this at first because I like the medals, I'm quite proud of my steadily growing collection in my bar at home. But the idea has "grown" on me, yesterday I planted my baby tree and I look forward to nurturing it as it grows up. My medal tree!
So the race was going well, I was pushing at a comfortable pace averaging around 6 minutes a kilometer, I hit the 10km mark at 59 minutes and carried on like that, until just before 15km my right hamstring said howzit and cramped up suddenly like never before. It was like a shooting pain down my leg. I had to stop and stretch and rub but then carried on. It was quite painful for a while but I ran through it, though my pace was down considerably, the last 6km was uncomfortable so I lost a fair bit of time.Despite the cramp and headphone hassles I still pulled off a personal best for a 21km, beating my previous time by only a minute, it's still an improvement. It was actually more than aminute because the race was longer than 21.1km by 370m.
I'm expecting Two Oceans to be a similar time. It's unlikely I'll finish much quicker than that because of all the people, I'll be one of 16,000 runners doing that one which is a hell of a lot of people on the road to navigate through, there are always rows of idiots moving slowly that the rest of us have to run around, at the big races they're like waves rolling along the road. Except these waves you can'r ride, though I'd like to run over them sometimes!
Colin my running buddy generally always finishes ahead of me, usually the 10km he comes in around 5 minutes before me, so had it not been for my cramp this time we'd probably have finished around the same time yesterday. At Two Oceans I'm seeded in group C, he's back in D starting 10 minutes after me, he reckons he'll catch me by halfway, I reckon I'll be waiting for him at the finish line. Hahaha.
On another note, this story of Facebook being blocked at work is really annoying. There's photo's on there from yesterday's event that I need to now email to myself from my phone to access on my PC to upload to this blog. On the plus side, I'll take out my frustration by writing to my blog more often, as is happening!
Happy Monday y'all, have an awesome week!
Friday, 11 March 2016
Waiting waiting waiting...
One of my pet hates in this life is waiting. I'm an inherently impatient human being with a restless personality, to have to hang around pointlessly and wait causes chemical friction in my brain that makes my blood boil and my hackles rise to the point that I'm in a bad mood for hours.
This is what's happening right now. I finished work at 3, wife won't be out before 3.45. So I have to sit in the hot car and wait. Were it not for my mobile phone to keep busy I would probably lose my nut and go mad! At least now I've got this newly discovered Blogger app to take my frustrations out on. The worry is through frustrating I might hammer a hole in my phone screen soon.
Usually when wife will be this late I'll go have a beer at the golf club down the road, but today I plan to go to gym when we get home, so beer is not an option. So this waiting is cutting into my weekend time and plans, the details of which are two posts back. This winds me up seriously because it's precious time lost, wasted, time I'll never get back from the limited time left steadily decreasing until death stops my finite clock.
I suppose I have to understand that she has to be late for work commitments, so it's just tuff shit for me, no point in getting upset and making a scene because then I become the asshole.
Tick tock...
You can see I'm not happy.
But so it goes in my world. Just shut up and suck it up.
Apologies, I know I said I'd try to be calmer and more tolerant and less agro. It's not always easy just sucking up thankless expectation and getting crap for being annoyed.
I hate waiting!!
Tick tock tick tock...
Blogger App
I've just discovered the Blogger app for my phone! This is great, now I can get all dramatic or talk rubbish on the go without upsetting people on Facebook.
Love it!
And upload mobile photos with long stories!
You best get the popcorn stocked up...
It's the weeeekend baby!!!!
Ha ha ha!
Yeah, so, about me, as usual, because this blog is all about Mr. Vain over here (you might have noticed by the previous post from yesterday with the 3 cheesy selfies taken within hours of each other.) I'm actually not vain at all, I'm a rather humble dude, for the most part, who's busy munching on a super healthy chicken mayo pie, it has a lot of pastry and not much chicken mayo filling. Que the heartburn in about half an hour. So yeah, besides humble and slightly vain, I'm aslo a dumbass because I know this shit is unhealthy and not all that wonderful but still I buy it because popping down to the local Bonjour garage shop the pies always look so much tastier than the bland salads, pasta's, sandwiches, etc at the deli counter. Must be the warm lighting used to sell more pies. And I've always had a soft spot for pies. In my younger years they got me through many a desperate bout of the munchies!
Well that went sideways!
About the weekend, my plans anyway (with supporting stories):
This evening I'll take Tammy for a swim at the gym. She took part in her first school gala yesterday and despite full marks for effort and enthusiasm she didn't win any awards, mainly because the school she came from last year had no swimming pool and the pool she started at this year does so the other kids in her grade have had a few years of swimming training ahead of her. Swimming lessons are expensive, so I've undertaken to get her doing laps in the gym pool at least once a week throughout winter so come next summer when swimming starts again at school she'll hopefully have caught up somewhat.
Thereafter I have some configuration changes I want to try on the electronic drum kit to make it a more realistic layout. It only has one crash and a ride cymbal, so I'm going to turn the middle tom into a ride cymbal (you can configure every pad to make one of 108 different percussion sounds) and set the ride to be a second crash. Also secure the kick and raise the hats a bit and get the snare at the sweet spot.
Boring drum talk. I love it!
Then I plan to work on my selection of hard rock and metal on my phone to listen to while running. That's my new thing - listening to music while I run. But my initial selection of tunes is not all ideal. For example, I love the band Cradle of Filth, it's serious death metal, but it doesn't really do it for me while running, throws me off with all of Danny's screaming. The more uptempo hard rock type stuff works better, and it helps to be at around 180bpm as that's around my running cadence so it motivates me to keep a good rhythm going while running. Also, a good rock tune that I know creates a bit of entertainment, when the build up in the song breaks I get excited and air-drum while I'm running. It gives me quite an adrenaline rush and a spurt of energy but I probably look like an idiot! I'm not bothered by that! Maybe one day I'll become legendary as the runner who drums while running! Haha
Tomorrow I need to go collect my race pack for Sunday's race at Sportsmans Warehouse, and I want to try find some non-cotton running underpants. I get terrible thigh and crotch chafe on long runs which burns like hell and I've realised it's from cotton jocks (I don't run commando! The bouncing is uncomfortable). I know that cotton and sweat doesn't work together, but dumbass here didn't click that part with jocks. Last week I bought a pair of tights which I ran a 10km in which helped, but with jocks, tights and my club running shorts made four layers (the shorts have a lining) which made for a small oven that slow roasted the family jewels. So, if the technical strapless underwear are affordable I'll try them with the shorts and use that for the long road runs and save the tights for trail runs.
Then the fun starts, we are joining a school outing to Ratanga junction. I'll probably go on the Cobra roller coaster again for the first time since my early twenties. Hopefully the old ticker holds strong and the stomach holds it's contents. Maybe I should sit at the back just in case!
Tomorrow night Tammy is having a sleepover at a friend. Something we've only done once before for non-grandparents. She's very excited, I'm a bit nervous. But I suppose as parents we all have to start letting go at some point, though I wish we didn't have to! I'd rather keep her close where I can protect her always! I'm sure she'll be fine, worrisome dad will be forgotten as soon as I'm out of sight.
On Sunday the friends she's staying with will come to our place for a braai and a few much deserved drinks. I say deserved because on Sunday morning, very early and far away I'm running the Milkwood Half Marathon out near Kommetjie. It's my second 21km for the year, a race I'm really looking forward to but also apprehensive about since I know my training lately has not been where it should be! Eating pies for lunch (and the eisbein I had last night) doesn't help much either! The race route is one of the most scenic around, so between the views, my music and lots of tight hot runners ass to motivate my pace I'm sure it will be a good run! Usually these races are awarded with a medal for finishing, this one apparently the first 2000 runners gets an indigenous tree to take home. So after pounding the road for 21.1km I still have to go home and do some gardening! Great!
That's my weekend, in a nutshell! I hope you all have an awesome one, I'll write another blog next week!
You see, this banishment of Facebook at work has had the positive effect of getting me writing a load of crap on my blog again for the duration of my lunch break, even though this overshoots my allocated 30 minute break, which Facebook never did. Once I start writing I have to finish or it will preoccupy my thoughts until I come back and finish, proof read and publish.
Waffling again...
Thursday, 10 March 2016
It's March already...
Ok that heading should read "It's only March". This year is really dragging!
So yes I'm aware my last blog post was in November last year, I can waffle off a list of excuses, like being busy, disinterested, yadda yadda yadda. It doesn't really matter, it's my blog, I don't owe anybody any explanations for writing a post or not writing on it. (I feel better already for that little rant!)
How's everybody been? {waiting for a response, hearing crickets creaking, skeletons rattling}
Yeah I've been fine thanks, just busy! The running thing has been a major pre-occupation for quite some time now. If you plot my activity through intensity on a graph it will look like a mountain range, it goes through spurts of enthusiasm then goes quiet for a week or two, but for the most part it is happening and improving. I try to take part in every race possible, mostly it's been 10km road races and trail runs. I've even strated a Facebook page just about my running journey. Two weeks ago I did the Peninsula Half Marathon (21.1km for those who don't know the lingo), this coming Sunday I'm doing the Milkwood half near Kommetjie, then on the 26th it's Two Oceans, half, my fourth.
So it's on the rise. I'm going faster and further. Peninsula I did in 2h 16m, by far my fastest 21km. Oceans I'm hoping to pull off a sub 2-hour.
Then, the big stuff comes... I've registered to do the Cape Town Marathon (that's 42.2km) on the 18th September. This is huge for me since I still struggle somewhat to do a sub 1-hour 10km, mostly due to inconsistent training. So, after Oceans I'll be setting up a proper structured training schedule to build up properly for Cape Town, I want to do it right and be healthy and fit enough to do a decent time under 4 hours for my first marathon.
Thereafter, if all goes well, next year I'll do the Two Oceans Ultra (56km) and the Comrades, both of which I want to do at least twice!
That's the plan anyway...
Another plan I've come up with is to soon start making chili sauces, my own recipes, to bottle and sell. I've been doing quite a bit of research and the intent is to make a range of unique and awesome sauces, including the hottest sauce in town made with imported chilies on the Scoville scale of upwards of a million (as an indication, jalapenos are around 5000, Habanero's are around 100,000 on the Scoville scale). I'm talking fires-of-hell types like the Carolina Reaper, Bhut Jolokia, Naga Viper, Infinity, Scorpion, etc. I will also extract the capsaicin (the oily chemical that gives chilies their heat, the ghost pepper capsaicin is 16 million on Scoville, it's used to make military grade pepper spray) to intensify the heat, these will be the kinds of sauces where a few drops on your pasta will make you shit molten lava for a week.
But ja, work in progress, I'll start off simpler using what's locally available like Habanero's and build up my range and work it up to the good stuff.
On the opposite end to intense sauces I've been working on personal changes, basically trying to calm down my intense personality, particularly in the public domain such as Facebook. Those of you (if anybody reads this... creek creek) who I'm friends with on Facebook, and have not yet un-followed me, which I know many have, will know that I can be quite controversial in my angry rants and intense opinions, along with the shocking articles I share. I've been very outspoken and graphic with my opinions regarding SA politics, trophy hunting, crime, etc, and my language gets a tad unnecessarily vulgar at times. This is really just me expressing my thoughts and feelings as I'm thinking and feeling them, it's not with the intention of upsetting or insulting anybody unless they're the topic of my post. Eg, I despise Jacob Zuma, and I'm completely outspoken (or was) about what I think of that waste of oxygen, and my opinions have cause much upset including my family disowning me and my wife and daughter for a few years for calling the man a {"bad word"}. What you see on Facebook is what I am, it's not fake or posed, it's honest. Unlike most people on Facebook who hide who they really are online. But what I've been realizing is that MOST people cannot handle me and my mind. It's probably from a lifetime of not knowing how to control my ADD (having not knowing I had it and always just believed I was just different), that I get so passionate and intense. Most people don't appreciate the hard-core opinions that go on in my head, this is evident by the complete lack of responses my serious postings get, but post something feel-good like puppies and that gets lots of awww's and likes. So clearly it's me that's the problem, not that everybody else is just boring or too shit scared to be seen to be associating with my views whether you agree in secret or not, the world (well my Facebook friends anyway) don't appreciate my views and find them inappropriate, despite the passionate strength to the way I feel about the subject. People just don't feel the same, or so it seems. So, I have been trying to tone down what and how I say things on Facebook, along with much less bad language, vulgarity, distasteful humour, etc
I'm still the same person, you'll just see it a lot less of my true freakazoid personality in the public domain. I turn 40 this year so maybe it's about time to grow up and learn to control the madness in my head and start conforming to normality and the expectations of an incredibly judgmental and hypocritical society.
Damn this chicken, cheese, chili & mayo toasted sandwich I made for lunch is incredibly delicious!
On other news, the band I was with is no more. The singer and bassist had a domestic disagreement so the singer decided to end the band. Personally I think it's quite ridiculous because we had a good thing going which was starting to show signs of going somewhere and I'm honestly quite resentful of how it ended, after 3 years of commitment and hard work to make some great tunes, albeit very few gigs to show for our efforts we stuck with it in the belief that the shows were coming. Then it was all just over, because two people couldn't live together anymore.
Anyway, the bassist, guitarist and myself on drums are going to start a new project once the bassist, who owns most of the sound equipment, has settled into a new place since he had to leave the band house where we played previously. The house where him and the singer lived together, not as a couple, just friends.
I'm sure that whatever we come up with will be awesome, we just need to find a new singer and maybe another guitarist or trumpeter or whatever. I just know that I am seriously missing the jamming, we need to get set up and going soon. Otherwise I'm going to join another established band soon. I really miss gigging!
Since my last post, we have also invested in an electric drum kit to play at home, the main reason being that my daughter Tammy is also learning the drums. She's going for drumming lessons at her school once a week, I help her practice in between at home. She's also doing singing lessons. She's picking up the drumming fairly quickly and she's learning drum notation (sheet music for drums) in her lessons. I taught myself to read drum notation years ago, it's quite cool to be brushing off those cobwebs and being able to help and teach Tammy. I'm really super proud of that kid!
She started at a new school this year, due to some issues we had with the last one. I'm still in half minds about whether it was the right thing to do or not, but I'm being positive and supportive, it's not been easy for her having to make new friends and learn a whole new environment. But it's a great little school with high academic and sports standards so I'm sure once Tammy has settled in she'll thrive.
Another reason I have time to write this is the company I work for has blocked Facebook on the company network. I don't spend a lot of time on Facebook but I do use it quite often. My ability to concentrate on a task for long periods without losing focus is practically impossible, so Facebook is a useful momentary distraction, a brain break for a minute or two, then I can get back to the task at work with a renewed burst of concentration. Now that that familiar "brain break", so to speak, is gone I find I'm getting a bit anxious during those periods of distraction because the familiar focus point is now gone. It's not making me work more, it's just making me irritable and my mind is going off on different tangents with different ideas that have Google working hard.
Anyway, if my boss is reading this, it's not a problem, just something I'll get used to. Using my phone is an alternative, but it comes with added data costs, and I don't want to have to spend more money on mobile data.
Damn, this is yet another crazy long blog, my fingers are hammering away furiously on the keyboard trying to keep up with the stuff flowing from my crazy head.
So, about the Facebook thing, I forgot to mention that I do still post jokes and crude meme's, but they are now on a separate group where only those who are interest need go and look, and a handful of regulars even contribute to the funnies. There's some hilarious stuff, but you need an open-minded sense of humour to find some of the content funny. Check it out here, called Hijacked Meme's & LOL's
Anyway, lunch break is over, I need to get back to work. I'll finish this post this evening and link it on Facebook from home, where I have access to Facebook, albeit on a ridiculously pathetically miserable internet connection! With all the hype about constantly developing new internet connectivity and fibre, etc, and all I can get is a measly heavily throttled 2Mb Telkom line. Telkom won't upgrade the infrastructure (despite people in the next street having 40Mb capability) and who knows when the Fibre will reach my area, so for the foreseeable future I'm stuck in the dark ages of prehistoric bandwidth in my incredibly expensive house in a reasonably upmarket neighbourhood while the world around (including the newer low-income areas and townships nearby) gets rapidly upgraded connectivity. It grates my goose, but nothing to do except wait for technology in this backwards country to catch up.
Have a nice day folks!
So yes I'm aware my last blog post was in November last year, I can waffle off a list of excuses, like being busy, disinterested, yadda yadda yadda. It doesn't really matter, it's my blog, I don't owe anybody any explanations for writing a post or not writing on it. (I feel better already for that little rant!)
How's everybody been? {waiting for a response, hearing crickets creaking, skeletons rattling}
 |
| Eye spy you okes. |
So it's on the rise. I'm going faster and further. Peninsula I did in 2h 16m, by far my fastest 21km. Oceans I'm hoping to pull off a sub 2-hour.
Then, the big stuff comes... I've registered to do the Cape Town Marathon (that's 42.2km) on the 18th September. This is huge for me since I still struggle somewhat to do a sub 1-hour 10km, mostly due to inconsistent training. So, after Oceans I'll be setting up a proper structured training schedule to build up properly for Cape Town, I want to do it right and be healthy and fit enough to do a decent time under 4 hours for my first marathon.
Thereafter, if all goes well, next year I'll do the Two Oceans Ultra (56km) and the Comrades, both of which I want to do at least twice!
That's the plan anyway...
Another plan I've come up with is to soon start making chili sauces, my own recipes, to bottle and sell. I've been doing quite a bit of research and the intent is to make a range of unique and awesome sauces, including the hottest sauce in town made with imported chilies on the Scoville scale of upwards of a million (as an indication, jalapenos are around 5000, Habanero's are around 100,000 on the Scoville scale). I'm talking fires-of-hell types like the Carolina Reaper, Bhut Jolokia, Naga Viper, Infinity, Scorpion, etc. I will also extract the capsaicin (the oily chemical that gives chilies their heat, the ghost pepper capsaicin is 16 million on Scoville, it's used to make military grade pepper spray) to intensify the heat, these will be the kinds of sauces where a few drops on your pasta will make you shit molten lava for a week.
But ja, work in progress, I'll start off simpler using what's locally available like Habanero's and build up my range and work it up to the good stuff.
 |
| Hello, it's me... |
I'm still the same person, you'll just see it a lot less of my true freakazoid personality in the public domain. I turn 40 this year so maybe it's about time to grow up and learn to control the madness in my head and start conforming to normality and the expectations of an incredibly judgmental and hypocritical society.
Damn this chicken, cheese, chili & mayo toasted sandwich I made for lunch is incredibly delicious!
On other news, the band I was with is no more. The singer and bassist had a domestic disagreement so the singer decided to end the band. Personally I think it's quite ridiculous because we had a good thing going which was starting to show signs of going somewhere and I'm honestly quite resentful of how it ended, after 3 years of commitment and hard work to make some great tunes, albeit very few gigs to show for our efforts we stuck with it in the belief that the shows were coming. Then it was all just over, because two people couldn't live together anymore.
Anyway, the bassist, guitarist and myself on drums are going to start a new project once the bassist, who owns most of the sound equipment, has settled into a new place since he had to leave the band house where we played previously. The house where him and the singer lived together, not as a couple, just friends.
I'm sure that whatever we come up with will be awesome, we just need to find a new singer and maybe another guitarist or trumpeter or whatever. I just know that I am seriously missing the jamming, we need to get set up and going soon. Otherwise I'm going to join another established band soon. I really miss gigging!
Since my last post, we have also invested in an electric drum kit to play at home, the main reason being that my daughter Tammy is also learning the drums. She's going for drumming lessons at her school once a week, I help her practice in between at home. She's also doing singing lessons. She's picking up the drumming fairly quickly and she's learning drum notation (sheet music for drums) in her lessons. I taught myself to read drum notation years ago, it's quite cool to be brushing off those cobwebs and being able to help and teach Tammy. I'm really super proud of that kid!
She started at a new school this year, due to some issues we had with the last one. I'm still in half minds about whether it was the right thing to do or not, but I'm being positive and supportive, it's not been easy for her having to make new friends and learn a whole new environment. But it's a great little school with high academic and sports standards so I'm sure once Tammy has settled in she'll thrive.
 |
| Just me checking you out. |
Anyway, if my boss is reading this, it's not a problem, just something I'll get used to. Using my phone is an alternative, but it comes with added data costs, and I don't want to have to spend more money on mobile data.
Damn, this is yet another crazy long blog, my fingers are hammering away furiously on the keyboard trying to keep up with the stuff flowing from my crazy head.
So, about the Facebook thing, I forgot to mention that I do still post jokes and crude meme's, but they are now on a separate group where only those who are interest need go and look, and a handful of regulars even contribute to the funnies. There's some hilarious stuff, but you need an open-minded sense of humour to find some of the content funny. Check it out here, called Hijacked Meme's & LOL's
Anyway, lunch break is over, I need to get back to work. I'll finish this post this evening and link it on Facebook from home, where I have access to Facebook, albeit on a ridiculously pathetically miserable internet connection! With all the hype about constantly developing new internet connectivity and fibre, etc, and all I can get is a measly heavily throttled 2Mb Telkom line. Telkom won't upgrade the infrastructure (despite people in the next street having 40Mb capability) and who knows when the Fibre will reach my area, so for the foreseeable future I'm stuck in the dark ages of prehistoric bandwidth in my incredibly expensive house in a reasonably upmarket neighbourhood while the world around (including the newer low-income areas and townships nearby) gets rapidly upgraded connectivity. It grates my goose, but nothing to do except wait for technology in this backwards country to catch up.
Have a nice day folks!
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