A lifestyle journey

This is one of those random "let's write a quick blog during lunch" moments. Lets see what comes out of it...

Enjoying a local craft beer yesterday at Obz Cafe while Tammy
did dress rehearsal for her concert.

For starters, as many of my Facebook friends saw a few days ago, I've passed the 3 month milestone since quitting smoking, again. I realise these non-smoker timeline announcements don't quite have the same exciting impact as they did the first time I quit in November 2012, after being a relatively heavy smoker since the age of 18. That was a big occasion, one to be proud of and one I was very chaffed with myself over as was everybody who knew me. So it goes without saying that starting up again last year was probably the dumbest thing I've ever done. It started as just a puff at a party, then bummed a whole smoke on the sneak like a naughty schoolboy, before long I very guiltily (I recall that moment clearly) bought a packet of Styvesant Blue, and for a few months gradually built up the momentum and a solid addiction all the while doing it on the sly, too embarrassed to let my family find out. One of my lowest ever life moments was when my daughter Tammy caught me, her absolute disappointment broke my heart. But at the same time came as a relief that I no longer had to sneak around since most people now knew and I'd learned to smoke away the embarrassment. The addiction which had taken a solid grip on my brain was stronger than my shame. So I suppose when I quit again this time round I can accept that people probably take it less seriously. But the difference is I know what a ridiculously stupid thing it was to light up again, and this time I will stick to not smoking for life because I'm psychologically ready, fully aware that I don't need that poison in my system for any reason and the only excuse to ever smoke again will be pathetic, disconcerted weakness. I couldn't bear doing that to Tammy again! Besides, part of the motivation to quit this time round has been the running and fitness. My lungs simply cannot handle where I'm trying to take my body. I nearly barfed my lungs out on the track on that first trail run in August, was so out of breath I had to stop, wheezing and gasping fighting to get some oxygen back in my veins. That's when I realised I have a choice: to carry on smoking and getting fat from laziness and progressively unhealthy and ugly and probably die in the next few years in great discomfort and shameful misery, or quit that shit and get fit and healthy and handsome and enjoy a longer life looking decent and feeling strong, confident and alive.

Why we actually allow ourselves to get to that point where we realise we have to make that life or death choice is beyond comprehension. But that's what these addictions to these bad lifestyle choices do, they manipulate us gradually over time, weakening our resolve into believing that the unhealthy lifestyle (smoking, drinking, eating crap and doing no exercise) is easier, and as time goes on the prospect of getting fit and healthy seems more and more impossible and less likely (and we can all admit that the desire to get healthy, quit smoking, etc is always there harassing our conscience, but just not strong enough to kick our fat arses into action!) And yes, making that change, that lifestyle U-turn, from the point where I was 4 months ago, is a daunting task, a massively steep uphill, one that appears almost impossible. A decision that's too easy to postpone to "another day". But I realised that it's a choice that simply has to be made if I'm going to be around to see my daughter grow up. And yes, it is difficult, especially at the beginning, it takes a lot of effort to eat right, exercise often, while dealing with withdrawal from an awful drug addiction to nicotine, but it gets easier. The cravings for a smoke are completely gone, each run or workout gets easier and becomes more enjoyable, and eating the right stuff becomes normal. Eg. I'm now enjoying coffee without sugar, or any form of sweetener. Coffee with sugar is actually gross! I see sweeteners for coffee in the same light as nicotine patches/gums/etc as replacements for smoking. You're still feeding the addiction. It's like feeding an alcoholic vodka through intravenous drips to help quit "drinking". It's pointless! I avoid sugar as far as possible, no coke & other sodas, no sweets & cakes, condiments like chutney, etc. That alone makes a huge difference to weight loss and well being. The other half of the diet is to avoid carbs (bread, wheat, pasta, taters, rice, etc) as far as possible, while allowing these in small moderation as a treat and not a staple. But it is hard work preparing carb-less food, and rather expensive. Vegetables are stupidly expensive! No wonder we are a nation of fat slobs, people live on grain based food because it's cheap!

Anyway, the exercise thing has taken a back seat for the last two weeks since I came down with a bad dose of flu, I can feel the laziness setting in again; this evening I'll once more brave the chaos of the gym for a good cardio and strength workout. I'm excited to get back into the routine. On Saturday a bunch of us are doing the Winelads 10km race, I'm looking forward to that. The weight loss has flatlined for a while now, it's time to bend that curve back down again toward that target which is what I am now minus another 15kg.

So on other news, this last weekend was hectic busy, except Friday night, I took that easy in anticipation for a long Saturday... which started off at 5am as a marshal for the West Coast half marathon. My first time marshaling a race and have to say I quite enjoyed it. Every race we run is hosted by the local running club, and that club's members volunteer as the marshals, this keeps the cost of races to a minimum while the club earns a bit of valuable income. Since I run often these days I felt it only fair to do my share of marshaling.

I can see how often marshals are perceived to be on power trips, because one does have momentarily the power of directing and channeling a lot of people and the power to stop and control traffic. Which I did a lot of, though it wasn't an arrogant thing, I've seen marshals who do get big-headed and they tend to piss people off and make fools of themselves. I really enjoyed the vibe and the appreciation of thousands of runners in helping them enjoy a smoother run. I met some nice people, and saw a lot of cheeky bums in tight pants trotting past!

Thereafter I went home, made breakfast, got the car washed, then we hit the road for the familiar 4 hour road trip to Witsand for my dad's 60th birthday dinner. Albeit a short visit I really enjoyed it especially because my adorable little old Granny was there. I don't get to see her often, and for the first time ever we had 4 generations of the family together with my brother and I, our kids, dad and gran, which of course we had to get a photo of.

Me, my dad, granny (dad's mom), my brother Warryn, my daughter Tammy and Warryn's daughter Jess.

A rare moment indeed, and a precious one. Granny is getting on in life, it's unlikely this same photo will ever be re-created. Anyway, we had a great dinner, ate and drank merrily as we sent dad off into his 60's. These special family moments don't happen often enough!

On Sunday morning we hit the road back home early, at 6.30am, to make it in time for Tammy to perform in her drama pirate production, "Pirate Joe". It was the year end culmination of 2 terms of Drama as an extra mural with the Helen O'Grady Drama Academy. The show was super cute, I got lots of photo's which I don't have with me now, I'll post some of them up later, after gym. My little girl was a super star, even though her part was small, she did so well, once again I'm the proudest dad in town!

Then last night we ordered pizza as a treat for Tammy, and I was guilty of ingesting all those evil carbs, but it was a rare treat which we enjoyed. I washed it down with a few enjoyable stiff whiskeys to end off a hectic weekend.

You see, that's my next vice that I need to tackle - the drinking. Although for health reasons I generally only drink whiskey with water or soda, I know I drink far more than is good for me. My alcoholism is another addiction which still has a tight grip and I'm not sure how to tackle this one, as some of you may know this is something I've been battling alone for many years, a while back I even had a blog about it called Diary of a Dipsomaniac, but don't bother looking for it, I took that one down long time ago. It got rather embarrassingly personal as I wrote long posts while I was zonked, feeling sorry for myself and moaning about the woe's of my life. That's not the case now, I don't have pity parties, I know what the problem is, I just need to find a way to deal with it which will probably involve psychological preparation and a change of mindset like when I quit smoking. Except this will be a lot harder! Don't ask me why, it just will!

But that will come in due course, my last big hurdle of the road to fit & healthy longevity, providing I can avoid the proverbial bus on the way!

Have a nice day, I need to go earn some peanuts...

Granny, Tammy and me.