Day 1

Home on a Monday night and sober. It's been a long time since that's happened. It's not a fact that I'm proud to admit, but this blog is all about honesty, facing up to this cruel addiction and the life I've lived around alcohol for so long, and doing something to fix it!

So this is day one, almost a full day since my last drink according to my Sober Time app, though admittedly it's not exactly right, I estimated my last drink to be around 9.30pm last night, but I was so twatted I don't remember the exact time, or even going to bed, or anything after about 7pm, so that's a rough guess. But that was a deliberate pissup as my farewell to the booze, I've donated the rest of my bottle of Bells to my resident mother-in-law on condition I do not see it. Out of sight... no not out of mind, it will be a while before I am no longer constantly thinking about sucking on that poison for pleasure!

Another of my reasons for tanking it up hard last night was the inevitable hangover I've been nursing today, I deliberately wanted to feel it as a bad one as a reminder of what "joys" drinking brings, and well it worked, I have suffered today, but I've consciously been enjoying the thought that I won't have to go through another day like this again, at least not for the next 99 days. My personal 100 days expires on the 18th October. Having a finite period of tackling this sobering up business is far more mentally manageable than "forever". Right now it's impossible to say what my attitude and mindset towards drinking will be on the 18th October, but the hope is that by then I'll be over the worst of the craving and will have made such great progress with the running, pushing to reach some tough personal running goals, that I'll not want to drink again, albeit for a short period before taking on the next 100 day challenge. Still, in my pickled brain 100 days certainly seems possible, whereas the thought of "forever" scares the crap out of me!

Regarding "how's it going"? Right now I am craving, but it's not too bad because I've had dinner. Usually if I eat it takes away the desire to drink, often at a party once my belly is full of food I don't drink much after that. On the contrary, usually if I'm drinking I don't eat for exactly that reason, as if this alcohol monster in my gut convinces my brain that I "want" to drink so I "do not want" to eat! Of course the danger of this theory and eating to ease the booze cravings is I'm GOING TO GET FAT if it's not controlled! Replace the booze with food and soon my running shoes will run away! The plus side of course is that without drinking the running too is going to increase drastically. I hope!

Anyway, before dinner, that period between getting home and eating, it was strong, the beast withing was shouting loudly to get its fix of the golden Scottish nectar it's convinced my blurry brain that we love in copious volumes!

But the monster is sulking quietly now, it will not get that fix tonight! Or tomorrow, etc.

Just a little side snippet of interesting technology, I posted earlier on the AA group, in jest, the following: "I do think sometimes that Facebook is an asshole! So many of the "sponsored" posts and ads are alcohol related! Doesn't Zucky know we're alcoholics trying to get off the booze and they keep taunting us with booze products, pub quiz competitions, etc. Not very responsible advertising algorithms!"

Somebody responded with info about a Chrome browser extension that allows you to completely control what you see on Facebook, eg, removes all the "Sponsored" ad boxes, you can avoid certain topics, switch off things like game & app requests, limit what menu's you can see, etc, just about every aspect of Facebook can be controlled. You can even see who unfriends you, if that interests you! I love applications like this. It's called Fluffbuster Purity. Seriously cool!

I have another confession - I'm getting lazy! Since the Comrades marathon on 4th June I've been battling to get back into the running again. I meant to run or go to gym this evening, but I just don't feel like it. The cold wet winter weather outside is also de-motivating. But, seeing as I've admitted this publicly, I will now also commit to dragging my lardy ass out of bed half an hour earlier tomorrow at 4.30am and hit the treadmill for a 5km trot. If anybody is reading this, and you remember tomorrow, ask if I got up for my 5km run. Either way I promise to answer honestly, and if I say no, you have permission to bollock me properly for being useless! The usual excuse of being drunk or hungover will no longer fly, there HAS to be more running to avoid the alcohol monster being replaced by the blubberous beast of gluttony!

Hahahahaha...

Thanks for reading, have a fantabulous evening!