Gross!!!

That would be my lunch today - gross! I found a tin of spaghetti & viennas in tomato sauce in my desk drawer. After a long morning on my feet surveying one of the bigger buildings on Medical Campus I'd worked up quite a hunger so it seemed more appetising than peanut butter on toast! Picture this: the contents of the abovementioned tin, a big red pile of schlop with shriveled looking dark brown sausages that looked like a couple of dried thumbs sticking out the spaghetti, on a bed of toast with cheese slices, topped with a generous dollop of mayo and splattered with Nando's chilli sauce!

It was edible, and I ate it all like a ravenous hyena that's not eaten since the last dodo died out, but it didn't taste too good! But beggars can't be choosers, and at this stage of my fanancial month (3 days from payday) I'm close to begging!

This morning I surveyed the Werner & Beit North block, not the most interesting survey, I didn't see any bizarre labs or human body parts.

Yesterday's session at the gym was the first in quite a few weeks (probably closer to 2 months!) and I can really feel it today; that stiff sore muscle feeling after the usual first time at the gym after a long absence. As usual my manboobs feel the most sore, though admittedly it's quite a satisfactory ache, it's the sign of muscles growing after a hard workout!

I think maybe this evening I'll go again, if not then difinitely tomorrow. Hopefully there'll be a squash court free too.

The last few weeks I've bought quite a few tickets in the Lotto and Powerball, and I've won twice in the last week - a grand total of R21,50! Whoopee-fucking-hooo! But I'll keep playing in the hope of getting lucky someday, hopefully soon.

I still haven't started that big assignment that needs to be submitted in less that 2 weeks. Maybe tonight will be a good time to start. I was quite excited about this course, it's just hard work motivating myself to do the studying after so many years since I attempted to study anything, especially with 2 demanding girls at home! The course is about entrepreneurship, because I would really like to start my own business in the near future. It just seems like such a daunting task, I'm not quite sure exactly what business I'd like to embark on, and more importantly I don't know where the funding will come from. Being a white South African I've got very little chance of help from the government and I'm not sure a bank will help me or how ridiculously expensive their interest rates will be!

I've got some ideas, predominantly photography and I'd really love to run my own restaurant and bar. The restaurant will need a ridiculous amount of money to start up though it's a business I will be good at; the photography less expensive to start as a photographer though I'll need money for decent equipment, a studio facility, and the time and money to get a professional qualification. It's also a very difficult market to crack, highly competitive! Ideally I would like to run a photography shop selling photo equipment and developing and printing images with a studio on site. It will be expensive and high risk business, but I reckon it could work and it's something I enjoy - photography. Another idea I have is a rehearsal and pre-recording studio, though that will be more of a sideline thing because the income won't be very hight.

See the problem I have is a lot of ideas and what-ifs, but I can't even make it to the end of every month on my curent salary so where the hell will the capital to start a business come from! If and when it happens I will make a damn success of it because I don't want to struggle forever and I don't want to just be another employee doing a menial job working for somebody else and taking shit over the most ridiculous issues because people in position are on power trips (prime example this very second I got crapped on because I'm writing this blog when lunch finished 2 minutes ago!)

So this business thing's gotta work, but the end of the tunnell is so far away I can't even see the light! It's so frustrating!

That's why I'm doing the course, to give me some basic idea of how to start up and run a small business. Hopefully after the course, which ends with an exam in May, the proverbial light will be visible down that very long tunnell!

If you're reading this and have any suggestions or ideas I'm all ears!

Meantime, I better get on with my job! I feel like I'm permanently treading on thin ice to make sure I don't piss people off because I can't afford to not have this job, I won't get another one like it because I don't have any qualifications and this job is not going anwhere other than where it is now! And I detest having to suck up, it makes me hate people and it makes me angry which is not good for the old ticker!