Ants

I really believe that God has a cruel sense of humour towards us humans sometimes, I know this because he gave us ants and flies. And many feel the same about mosquitoes too, though I'm not bothered by mozzies because they don't bother me. Everybody around me gets bitten by mozzies, when we went to the Okavango swamps in 2009 the other guys nearly got carried off into the bush and eaten alive by the mozzies, but they didn't come near me. I wonder why with mild amusement.

On the other hand ants and flies piss me off to no end, though lately more ants than flies. They are just everywhere these days, they get in everything resulting in a lot of good food having to be thrown away and wasted, and that seriously pisses on my battery because I can hardly afford to feed myself, I certainly can't afford to feed the local fucken parasitic wildlife!

Last night I found them in the pantry cupboard, they found the syrup. One bottle I managed to rescue and rinse off, the little fuckers hadn't got into the bottle, but the other one they got in and many were drowned in the syrup.

Last week they found Tammy's sweets and lollipops, had to chuck a load of that too.

Like everything possibly attractive to ants has to stay in the fridge, which is chockablock fulla stuff that doesn't need to be in there! It's really annoying!

Last Friday we had a braai with the outlaws. I purposely made a shitload of spare ribs because the leftovers are just delicious the next day, especially with a hangover. So I left the food in the oven overnight, like we often do after a braai and it's normally clean and safe to eat the next day. Saturday morning I got up and had a few ribs... delicious!!! Saturday afternoon I opened the oven and the food was swarming with thousnads of the little black fuckers like some kind of demonic disease! I wanted to cry! At that point I lost all respect for ants as "God's creatures" and have since murdered ants mercilessly wherever I come across them. I've poisoned their nests and gassed them with insect spray that I've been through bottles of the stuff! I have proudly exterminated literally millions of them and I feel good about it! That'll teach the bastards to fuck with my food, and y'all know how I love my food!

Anyway, I had to dump the whole lot of food in the outside bin, which broke my heart. At least I got some joy in turning the bin into a gas chamber to murder the thousands of ants on my beloved food. But by this morning my bin naturally stank like any week old carcass rotting in the hot summer sun would smell - it was rank when I opened it! Fortunately it's council bin day today!

I actually look forward to winter when most of the annoying bugs of summer seem to disappear. I wish they all died!

I realise they have their place in nature, which is fine, as long as they stay out in nature and mind their own business. But come onto my property and they will not be tolerated, they will be mass murdered!

Same goes for flies! I'd love to catch them all, cut off their wings (rendering them as 'walks') and feed them to the ants before annihilating the ants entire colonies!

Since last weekend I've had an annoying cold again that seriously getting on my tits today. I'm almost convinced I got this from the ants too!