So much so that we'll publicly share and laugh at jokes making us out to be idiots knowing that this is of course not true, drummers are in fact more intelligent than the rest of the band, and everybody else! This fact is derived from research done at Stockholm's Karolinska Institutet, and other studies compiled by news and analytics site Policyymic. So shove that up your hubbly bubbly and smoke it!
Read the article here...
These lame jokes depicting drummers as being slobbering morons no doubt arises from simmering jealousy by the rest of the band, who are indeed inferior in intellect. Therefore, in order to keep them from blowing their bonnets and exposing their true intelligence levels, or lack thereof, we the humble drummers choose to suck up the punches and just laugh along at the jokes without reciprocating (except occasionally at the bass players who're about as bright as a chunk of limestone), allowing said band mates to believe they are smarter. This is for the sake of the band, we don't need the guys at the front getting any more insecure, would we!
(I reckon my band mates from Sanskara will be having stern words with me before tomorrow night's gig if they read this! Hahaha!)
Without further ado, enjoy the funnies:
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
What did the drummer say to the band leader?
Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?
Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
He had to break the car window to get the drummer out.
How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up.
What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? "Hey, how about we try one of my songs?"
An Indian chief and a cavalry captain climb to the top of a tall hill and look out upon the entire Indian tribe. The captain says worriedly, "I don't like the sound of those drums." The chief says, "I know. It's not our regular drummer."
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better Stuart Copeland could've done it.
An amateur drummer died and went to heaven. He was waiting outside the pearly gates when he heard the most incredible fast and furious drumming coming from within. Immediately he recognized the playing and rushed to ask St. Peter if that was Buddy Rich playing drums inside the gates. St. Peter responded: "No, that's God. He just thinks he's Buddy Rich."
How do you get a drummer off of your porch?
Pay him 10 bucks for the pizza.
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Gifted.
What does a drummer use for contraception?
His personality.
What do you say to a drummer in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about half a beat behind the drummer."
Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Me neither.
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot.
How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
You know it's coming, but there's nothing you can do about it.
Why do drummers have lots of kids?
They're not too good at the Rhythm Method
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What do you do if you accidentally run over a drummer?
Reverse.
Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: "Drums good. When drums stop, very bad." Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, "Drums good. When drums stop, VERY bad." This continues for several days until one morning the drumming suddenly stops and all the natives panic and run screaming. The man asks the guide what's the matter? The guide looking very frightened says: "When drums stop, VERY, VERY bad," he said. "Why is it bad?" asked a member of the safari. "Because when drums stop, bass solo begin!"
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