Dry August

The hot winds of change are blowing... and by that I don't mean the 28 degree berg wind roasting us in the middle of winter!

I have once again reached a point in my existence where I've realised I need to make some serious changes, one of which is to try, for the third time, to seriously tackle my drinking problem. So I've decided to go dry for the whole of August, to remain alcohol free for the whole month. This will serve not only to save money and to be a lot healthier, and more alive; but mainly as a challenge to myself to gage how well I can cope without the booze. I can't afford rehab (nor have any desire for such drastic measures), and I'm not interested in the AA (been there, done that, it didn't work for me!) so I'm just going to slog it out alone, hopefully with a bit of encouragement from my family. If this lasts the month, I'll take it from there. In my wildest dreams I might make it to Christmas, and quit smoking by then too... but like they say... baby steps, one at a time!

My last drink, in copious amounts, was on Saturday night 30 July until about 3am on Sunday the 31st. It's now Tuesday, so far so good! If anybody wants to back me up on my endeavour please do so on the comments below or email me at justindeklerk@aol.com, NOT on my Facebook wall please! I do still have some pride and dignity!

BTW, this has nothing to do with the Muslim fasting of Ramadan, it's just a timely co-incidence!

The reason I've come to this decision to attempt this feat of willpower against a long term addiction which I admittedly enjoy is that I've had enough time wasted through painful hangovers, and I feel I'm missing out on my daughter's growing up by being in the daze of drunk all the time. I get drunk every couple of days, at home, alone, usually on whiskey, which is clearly not healthy nor is it helpful to our already highly strained finances. My wife probably doesn't believe me and I don't blame her, but I'll have to deal with that in stride.

The other thing is I am on an eager and highly motivated drive to invest in starting some kind of serious career in photography, which is going to include undertaking some studies again which will no-doubt take up a lot of time. I've spent a lot of time in recent weeks in thought and researching on the internet about photography, and I'm excited as all hell to get into this like I've not been excited in years! It's something I really enjoy and one of the few things I'm actually fairly good at, and I firmly believe in myself that with some good training and some decent semi-pro gear I will be quite good, good enough to break into the world of professional photography that actually generates a reasonable income. Part-time at first, of course, but someday I'd love, absolutely LOVE to be working full time as a photographer taking the kind of pictures that make people go WOW!

So at lunch time today I'm heading off to Orms in Cape Town to check out some gear. I've got my heart set on the Nikon D7000.

The course I'm almost decided on is the Photography Institute diploma course in professional photography. It's an online home-study course that seems to cover everything photographical.

I'm well excited, and so far it's proving to be a successful distraction from the thought of alcohol.

My life has become frustratingly boring, uninteresting and for much of it unpleasant to the point of near depression (boo hoo for me) due to my deadpan routine, the people that I have to deal with daily and the depressing soul-destroying shit I have to put up with, and still having to mull over the fact that I have achieved nothing worth bragging about in life (besides my awesome child) and the prospect being trapped in this hell hole until I die unless I start fucking climbing!

The time has come for change, for the better...

Wish me luck!