Day 8

Apologies to my fans for dropping you yesterday (assuming of course I have any fans, being a humble blogging alcoholic and not some rock superstar, well not while I'm awake in reality anyway), it was a cold lazy Sunday. In a nutshell, I had a lovely lie-in enjoying my warm comfortable bed after that crazy storm the night before. Then some mates started commenting on our running group about an easy beach run, so I donned my running kit and headed out to join the guys for a lovely 12.5km run along the beachfront. Came home and didn't go outside again for the rest of the day. My daughter and I made awesome home-made pizzas for the family for lunch, then we tried to make fudge. As always, a disaster! My fudge ALWAYS comes out as toffee, gooey, sticky toffee! I don't know why but it's really pissing me off that I can't make the simple things! Head-bloat confession - I'm a bloody good cook, I can make the most incredible meals of all sorts, I'm creative and interesting in the kitchen, my family and friends love my culinary creations. But, I cannot make rice! Yes, fucking RICE!!! It always comes out a flop - overcooked, burned, under-cooked, or like mielie pap (thick maize porridge). In my 41 years of sucking oxygen I have NEVER managed to make a decent pot of rice! (And please keep your tips and tricks, I've heard them all and tried them all and still managed to cock it up!)

The rest of the day was spent doing not much more than nothing. Watched a movie with Tammy, "Finding Neverland", very nice heartwarming show. Hit the hay fairly early with grand intentions again of getting up early to hit the treadmill. That has yet to actually happen! I blame winter, 100%. The last few days has been freezing in the early mornings!

And yes, I was craving drink yesterday, again the usual trigger situations - home, bored, irritated with my housemates (aka family, 3 generations of noisy chicks), just really craved a stiff whiskey. It was a week earlier that I'd been indulging my last drink, deliberately to make it the last. Feels like a month away, not a week. But, of course I did not cave in and drink, it wasn't that bad. I was asleep at 9pm when that exact week since the last drink clocked, which means effectively right now (Monday) I'm just about 8 full days in.

Today is really the first day I have been absolutely fine, very mild craving at the end of the day, so mild it was negligible, and ironically what brought it on was listening to Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind" in the car on the way home. The chapter was on about marketing and advertising as brainwashing by the alcohol industry and it got me thinking about drinking events and good times and I felt a twinge of regret , as we expect the dying addiction to do in desperation, remind us that we love drinking and we are missing out on great socials and the great feelings and enjoyment that drinking brings, etc, etc... and to a point it did work, I have had a lot of great fun times in my life where alcohol has been involved and and I was reminiscing  know that part of me will miss drinking beer with friends around a braai fire or wine tasting in the Cape's amazing wine estates with the wife, that sort of thing that I'm having to sacrifice for the sake of fighting this shit addiction that has taken my life hostage.

But all that was short lived, gone by the time I got home. Yeah you can call that a bit of regret, but so what, it's all part of the package, the positives of giving up booze far outweigh the negatives. Social events just need some adjustment, and yet I truly am excited about the prospect of being sober and sharp witted at social events, even having the peace of mind of being a responsible sober driver and not have to drunkenly take back roads home to avoid potential road block routes. It will just take some getting used to, finding and adjusting to a suitable and enjoyable non-alcoholic drink, of which there aren't many options that aren't piled full of sugar at most bars, compared to the thousands of alcoholic options.

But, otherwise I had a great day today. Came home and headed off to gym for a great strength workout in preparation for the 50km race I'm running on Saturday. It's very cold here again this evening. There's snow on the mountains around the Cape, which sends icy air down here into Cape Town. Luckily I got back from gym to a lovely hot bowl of creamy vegetable soup made by the wife.

I actually had some other topics I wanted to chat about in my blog this evening, but to be honest, I'm not really in that creative head space for writing much useful stuff tonight so I won't waste any more time on pointless blabber.

Tomorrow's entry will be more enthusiastic and interesting, I promise!

Good night!