Dazy 5

Today is the fifth day since I've had an alcoholic drink. Probably the longest I have gone without booze since the last time I tried to quit drinking about a year ago. That time lasted about 6 weeks before the demon bottle got a grip on my balls again.

You may wonder, why am I making public such a personal thing that maybe you'd be embarrassed to admit in public. Well, yes I'm ashamed of my alcoholic addiction, but it's no secret, and I believe that being open about it and talking about it on this blog is better "therapy", or "rehab", whatever you wanna call it, than the AA or other "institutions". Probably because I am a bad bullshitter, and if people know about my perseverance to quit, then if I break down and go on a bender again I'm not just lying to myself but also making a fool of myself and bullshitting the rest of you, which is worse. Besides, it worked before - the blogging thing. Except on it's own it eventually got boring, as did life without the bottle and not much else to keep busy except punishment in the gym.

To be honest, so far it's not been a problem, I'm not really missing my tipple. Yes there are twinges of cravings creeping through at times, but it's nothing I can't handle. I think the main reason this is working for me so far is all the excitement in my life about the very real and possible prospect of a career in photography. Not just because I believe it's possible, but because it is happening - I've got the gear and the training has started in earnest with my course through the PI. Apart from that I have a stack of bible-like manuals to study to learn how to use my new equipment technically. I also have some good e-books to work through, not least one of the books I requested on yesterday'sy's blog, kindly donated by my mother, and a couple of books on learning Photoshop CS5 in detail, as far as photographic techniques are concerned. In particular I'm keen to learn and try HDR photography soon. Also, I have an exciting business to start planning for and developing!

It's all a lot to ponder and work on, work that is going to take up a lot of time, effort & brainpower over the coming months, so I think finding the willpower to abstain from the drink should be easier than I'm dreading it to be!

Fuck knows, maybe I'll quit smoking soon too, but as I mentioned before - one thing at a time! Although when I'm not drinking I smoke a quarter of what I do when I am drinking regularly, I still need my fag every now and then when the need arises! It's good for my circulation, in that it's an excuse to get up from my desk and take a walk.

I better get back to work, before the all-knowing madam comes in and kaks me out from down there again!