The Real Gourmet Burger

This is actually a bit late, I made these burgers last week, only now getting round to blogging about them, and only to make use of the photo's I took the effort to take.

The fact is my home-made burgers are the best burgers that anybody who has tried them has tasted. All these fancy "gourmet burger" places, some of which I've tried, and nice as they may be, thay can kiss my backside because my burgers surpass greatness, they are like erotic extasy in one's mouth!

Basically, my secret is in the patty itself. Each time I make them the ingredients vary slightly, with a few staples, but this particular batch came our almost perfectly with little loss on content from juices cooking out!

Here goes, my Blue-cheese, Beetroot & Parmesan burgers:

• The patty: Each patty weights around 250 to 300 grams each when they go in the pan. Usually I use a mix of ostrich & beef mince but this time I used normal (not lean) ground beef. Firstly I cut up a whole medium onion, lop it in the food processor with an egg, a hearty teaspoon of garlic paste, splash of balsamic vinegar, about a quarter cup of Jimmy's marinade, a dash of dried mixed herbs. Hit the On button briefly to mix it all up and cut the onion up even finer. Then throw in about a kilo of mince and blend it up until it's all mixed up into quite a fine fairly thick viscous mush. Seperate into 4 big mushy balls and plop into the pan, spread the patties out in the pan with your fingers to an even thickness. Cook thoroughly so the innner meat, onion & garlic is cooked through.
• Butter up some fresh Portuguese rolls.
• Lay a single layer of thickly cut beetroot on the lower half of the roll, sprinkle a small dash of parmesan on the beetroot.
• Park the dlelicious sizzling well cooked patty on top of the beetrook.
• Slice off a pile of creamy blue sheese and lay onto the hot patty so it melts onto the meat. 
• Sprinkle a load more crumbed parmesan onto the blue cheese, spread it evenly.
• Pour a dollop of Mrs Balls Original chutney onto the cheese. The chutney balances out the bitterness of the blue cheese, it works like a dream!
• Close the burgers and serve!

Enjoy!

2 weeks ago I made similar burgers with cheddar cheese and fresh avo, also delicious!

Gross!!!

That would be my lunch today - gross! I found a tin of spaghetti & viennas in tomato sauce in my desk drawer. After a long morning on my feet surveying one of the bigger buildings on Medical Campus I'd worked up quite a hunger so it seemed more appetising than peanut butter on toast! Picture this: the contents of the abovementioned tin, a big red pile of schlop with shriveled looking dark brown sausages that looked like a couple of dried thumbs sticking out the spaghetti, on a bed of toast with cheese slices, topped with a generous dollop of mayo and splattered with Nando's chilli sauce!

It was edible, and I ate it all like a ravenous hyena that's not eaten since the last dodo died out, but it didn't taste too good! But beggars can't be choosers, and at this stage of my fanancial month (3 days from payday) I'm close to begging!

This morning I surveyed the Werner & Beit North block, not the most interesting survey, I didn't see any bizarre labs or human body parts.

Yesterday's session at the gym was the first in quite a few weeks (probably closer to 2 months!) and I can really feel it today; that stiff sore muscle feeling after the usual first time at the gym after a long absence. As usual my manboobs feel the most sore, though admittedly it's quite a satisfactory ache, it's the sign of muscles growing after a hard workout!

I think maybe this evening I'll go again, if not then difinitely tomorrow. Hopefully there'll be a squash court free too.

The last few weeks I've bought quite a few tickets in the Lotto and Powerball, and I've won twice in the last week - a grand total of R21,50! Whoopee-fucking-hooo! But I'll keep playing in the hope of getting lucky someday, hopefully soon.

I still haven't started that big assignment that needs to be submitted in less that 2 weeks. Maybe tonight will be a good time to start. I was quite excited about this course, it's just hard work motivating myself to do the studying after so many years since I attempted to study anything, especially with 2 demanding girls at home! The course is about entrepreneurship, because I would really like to start my own business in the near future. It just seems like such a daunting task, I'm not quite sure exactly what business I'd like to embark on, and more importantly I don't know where the funding will come from. Being a white South African I've got very little chance of help from the government and I'm not sure a bank will help me or how ridiculously expensive their interest rates will be!

I've got some ideas, predominantly photography and I'd really love to run my own restaurant and bar. The restaurant will need a ridiculous amount of money to start up though it's a business I will be good at; the photography less expensive to start as a photographer though I'll need money for decent equipment, a studio facility, and the time and money to get a professional qualification. It's also a very difficult market to crack, highly competitive! Ideally I would like to run a photography shop selling photo equipment and developing and printing images with a studio on site. It will be expensive and high risk business, but I reckon it could work and it's something I enjoy - photography. Another idea I have is a rehearsal and pre-recording studio, though that will be more of a sideline thing because the income won't be very hight.

See the problem I have is a lot of ideas and what-ifs, but I can't even make it to the end of every month on my curent salary so where the hell will the capital to start a business come from! If and when it happens I will make a damn success of it because I don't want to struggle forever and I don't want to just be another employee doing a menial job working for somebody else and taking shit over the most ridiculous issues because people in position are on power trips (prime example this very second I got crapped on because I'm writing this blog when lunch finished 2 minutes ago!)

So this business thing's gotta work, but the end of the tunnell is so far away I can't even see the light! It's so frustrating!

That's why I'm doing the course, to give me some basic idea of how to start up and run a small business. Hopefully after the course, which ends with an exam in May, the proverbial light will be visible down that very long tunnell!

If you're reading this and have any suggestions or ideas I'm all ears!

Meantime, I better get on with my job! I feel like I'm permanently treading on thin ice to make sure I don't piss people off because I can't afford to not have this job, I won't get another one like it because I don't have any qualifications and this job is not going anwhere other than where it is now! And I detest having to suck up, it makes me hate people and it makes me angry which is not good for the old ticker!

Muscles & Mussels

The title gives a hint to a tasty morsel of the events of my day, this day being Monday, a rare Monday of chillaxing! Thanks to South African history for a pubic holiday on a great summers day! I do appreciate the reason for this Human Rights Day, based on historical events. I don't fully agree on current political reasoning's for recurringly fucking our economy on past events, but, well....

Further from my earlier blog of how the day started at 3am with a very happy cheerful Tammy, the little terrorist has not stopped going like the energiser bunny on E all friggin day long! She really is the sweetest kid on the planet, she has the most beautiful personality of any 3 year old I've ever had the fortune of meeting, but she's also the busiest!

I was on the phone to my mom chatting about all kinds of stuff, including the events and people at Saturday nights party, when Tammy's other granny, Liezel's mom (Ma) turned up unexpected.

Saturday night's party, the reason for the party being a combined party for my uncle Luigi (his 60th), and his oldest son Luigi (his 40th) being a unique father and son century (100 years combined) birthday party was a brilliant event at a stunning venue near Stellenbosch!

As for the 'muscles' part, Liezel & I went to the gym today for the first time in around a month! We both had a nice enough workout. I really didn't enjoy my game of squash because I'm unfit and out of practice, but I enjoyed the workout upstairs in the weights circuit. Liezel, however, worked up the biggest sweat I've ever seen on her. I was well proud!

Regarding the 'mussels'  my lovely mother-in-law pitched up with a bag of black mussels she had hand picked in the morning on the rocks at low-ish tide off the beach not far from where we live. Something I've never done, though she's clearly a pro of sorts!

Mussels and other creepy crawlies from the sea are not normally my fancy, and they looked gross in the pot after boiling, the ones that opened anyway. But when she grilled them with garlic butter and cheese they were quite irresistible! Seafood always looks good, it just doesn't do it for me besides fish, I'm just not a fan, and calamari makes me feel ill for some reason (the only food other than brinjil that grosses me out makes me want to hurl) but I tried one... a freshly picked mussel baked in garlic butter & cheese, and I loved it!!!

So I had 6! And I really enjoyed them! Genuinely!

Thanks Ma, brilliant!

But not quite a meal for me and my hungry wife and child, so I made boerewors rolls for all!

As I'm type this my sweet Tammy has crawled on my lap because she wants to sleep on her dad which she's promptly done. We had such fun playing soccer and cars and stuff this evening. She is a warm loving gorgeous joyful kid, the most awesome angel heaven has ever let loose in this world! So excuse me while I go put my princess to bed!

Home-made pizza - with extra cholesterol!

Howdy folks, I'm back after an absence of a few weeks, for no real reason other than laziness! If you had to see me now compared to 2 months ago you'll understand why - I've put on a haft ton of weight again. A fact which I have now realised after seeing photo's of myself at a party on Saturday night, it looks like I've been inflated to a near perfect sphere! Well from today I'm gonna do something about it, again, starting with another phase of regular gymming, less booze, and less fattening food. Though that doesn't include last night's dinner:

Before the avo.

Pizza! Glorious home-made 2-inch thick pizza loaded with grease. It was truly the most delicious pizza I've ever tasted, I'll say so myself, it was oozing with a technicolour of flavours, crispy on the outside and thick and juicy in the middle. My wife is already begging for more this morning after she had her last piece for breakfast!

With avo.

The recipe:

• Take 2 standard frozen supermarket brand pizza bases with tomato.
• Spread a generous layer of cheddar cheese, ensure the whole base is evenly covered right to the edge. Pat it down (this is necessary so the upper layers down fall off!
• Finely chop half a large onion (That Twista gadget works well, quick & noisy) and mix with half a yellow pepper, also chopped up into fairly small pieces. Spread evenly over the pizza. 
• Sprinkle some salt, pepper & oregano.
• Grate up a handfull of mild cheddar for each pizza and spread so it's a fairly thin layer of cheese over the onion & pepper.
• Sprinkle parmesan cheese liberally over the mild cheddar. Pat it all down gently.
• Slice some mushrooms and cover the pizza pretty much completely.
• Use a pack of bacon bits and spread loads over the top.
• I was going to use feta cheese too but there was already too much, it would have just fallen off the side.
• Load into a pre-heated oven and cook until it looks cooked, for me they took around half an hour in a fully heated oven. I put the pizza's on a foil base and folded the sides up around the edge of the pizza to keep the melting cheese on top of the pizza.
• Once out the oven slice up half a large avo per pizza, remove from the foil, and serve once it's cooled down sufficiently that the toppings are no longer trying to flow off the edge like volcanic lava.

The trick is to make more than you can eat in a meal so you have some for breakfast! Like any pizza it's even better the next day!

Tammy didn't have any last night because she was sleeping. The lazy bugger fell asleep in the car on the way home from the beach at around 3pm and she didn't wake up for the rest of the day. I was a little concerned because she had a bit of a cough and she'd slept in the bed with her sick granny the night before so I thought she was coming down with something so we left her to sleep. But then at 3am this morning she woke up wide eyed and bushy tailed ready to play, and talk! OMG did she talk this morning, from 3am, it's now 10.30 and she still hasn't stopped! I tried hard to sleep through it, even moving between beds and the couch, she just followed me diligently. If I turned the other way she promptly climbed over me to face me and carry on chatting. I got a foot in my face a few times in the process. All the while leaving her mom in peace, which I'd have also done the way she barked at Tammy for climbing on her. Occasionally she'd find a toy to chat to when I wasn't responding and I'd be left to doze off for a while longer until she came to tell me her new story.

But shame, the little angel was very cute and cheerful. Sleepy as I was (having been up watching movies until late) I didn't mind her too much, eventually I gave in at around 8am and took her down for breakfast, which was pizza, which she gobbled up then wanted Oatees cereal. Not surprising seeing as the poor kid hadn't eaten since about midday yesterday!

Anyway, today is Monday, and we are all enjoying a lazy day at home, being a much needed public holiday! After this I've got a few other things to do on the PC, then I need to mow the lawn and clean up the yard, clean the house, vacuum the floors, and have a go at the mountain of clean washing that has been dumped on the spare couch over the last 2 weeks. I can't afford the maid until next week (pay day).

And of course I'll spend some time with Tammy before tackling my next assignment for my Unisa course!

Oh yes, the gym needs to be squeezed in sometime too!

There's no cricket today, for a change. I've been following the cricket world cup religiously, even been watching it over the internet in the office during the week. It's weird not having cricket to watch, but the quarter finals starting Wednesday are going to be crackers!

The best burger in town!

Of all the nice enough dishes I make many say my burgers are the best they have ever tasted! Many being my wife, and a few family members. But I believe them! The garlic burping out my nose uninhibitedly right now is proof!

Ants

I really believe that God has a cruel sense of humour towards us humans sometimes, I know this because he gave us ants and flies. And many feel the same about mosquitoes too, though I'm not bothered by mozzies because they don't bother me. Everybody around me gets bitten by mozzies, when we went to the Okavango swamps in 2009 the other guys nearly got carried off into the bush and eaten alive by the mozzies, but they didn't come near me. I wonder why with mild amusement.

On the other hand ants and flies piss me off to no end, though lately more ants than flies. They are just everywhere these days, they get in everything resulting in a lot of good food having to be thrown away and wasted, and that seriously pisses on my battery because I can hardly afford to feed myself, I certainly can't afford to feed the local fucken parasitic wildlife!

Last night I found them in the pantry cupboard, they found the syrup. One bottle I managed to rescue and rinse off, the little fuckers hadn't got into the bottle, but the other one they got in and many were drowned in the syrup.

Last week they found Tammy's sweets and lollipops, had to chuck a load of that too.

Like everything possibly attractive to ants has to stay in the fridge, which is chockablock fulla stuff that doesn't need to be in there! It's really annoying!

Last Friday we had a braai with the outlaws. I purposely made a shitload of spare ribs because the leftovers are just delicious the next day, especially with a hangover. So I left the food in the oven overnight, like we often do after a braai and it's normally clean and safe to eat the next day. Saturday morning I got up and had a few ribs... delicious!!! Saturday afternoon I opened the oven and the food was swarming with thousnads of the little black fuckers like some kind of demonic disease! I wanted to cry! At that point I lost all respect for ants as "God's creatures" and have since murdered ants mercilessly wherever I come across them. I've poisoned their nests and gassed them with insect spray that I've been through bottles of the stuff! I have proudly exterminated literally millions of them and I feel good about it! That'll teach the bastards to fuck with my food, and y'all know how I love my food!

Anyway, I had to dump the whole lot of food in the outside bin, which broke my heart. At least I got some joy in turning the bin into a gas chamber to murder the thousands of ants on my beloved food. But by this morning my bin naturally stank like any week old carcass rotting in the hot summer sun would smell - it was rank when I opened it! Fortunately it's council bin day today!

I actually look forward to winter when most of the annoying bugs of summer seem to disappear. I wish they all died!

I realise they have their place in nature, which is fine, as long as they stay out in nature and mind their own business. But come onto my property and they will not be tolerated, they will be mass murdered!

Same goes for flies! I'd love to catch them all, cut off their wings (rendering them as 'walks') and feed them to the ants before annihilating the ants entire colonies!

Since last weekend I've had an annoying cold again that seriously getting on my tits today. I'm almost convinced I got this from the ants too!

Hello world, how's your muther?

Ja ja I know I've slacked off with the blog for a few days, it was a busy weekend, and right now with my lunch break almost over I've spent much of the time watching the WI - Netherlands cricket game live over the internet (courtesy of webcric.com, a rather shitty channel as it has more Arabic advertising than cricket, but all I got right now to watch cricket at work!) The West Indies are doing rather well, 265-4 after 42 overs.

The Canadians got slaughtered by Zimbabwe, of all teams, earlier today. Good on the Zimbo's, I hope they get through to the next round!

SA plays again on Thursday (forgot who, and our overly-reliable internet connection has bummed off again so I can't check!). If my connection works for a change I'll definitely be keeping an eye on that!

Oh fuck, I can't listen to the game on Thursday, my boss has me booked for a survey on Health Sciences again that day! It's the Netherlands we play anyway, now that my connection woke up again!
What a bummer!

Got lots to tell about the last weekend again which I'll do tonight, after I've done some studying!

Just had leftover pasta for lunch, plain old spaghetti bolognaise pot, but I'm stuffed! Though I realise I feel more stuffed easier lately because I've put on a fair bit of weight lately! I seriously need a detox and some healthy living for a while, if only I can just convince myself!

Here's a joke to end off:

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Pick 'n Pay.
The husband picks up a 2L box wine and puts it in their trolley.  

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.  

'They're on sale, only R30 for the box" he replies.
'Put it back, we can't afford it’ demands the wife,  and so they carry on shopping. 

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a R60 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. 

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. 

'It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife. 

Her husband retorts:  'So does the wine, and it's half the price.'

5 Minute Management Course

Clearly I didn't write the following, it appeared in my email inbox this morning. As I am about to embark on a course in small business management I thought it would be relevant. Enjoy:

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'


Moral of the story:
If you share critical information with your shareholders in time, pertaining
to credit and risk, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift..
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'


Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.


Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an  antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,  driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing  on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up..


Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of this story:
(1) Not everyone who dumps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of doo doo is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep doo doo, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.

Perfect Parklands Pie

That meal I described in yesterdays blog created a delicious image in my head as I wrote about it that stuck for the rest of the day so I went home and attempted it. Basically it was a vegetable & bacon quiche that I named "Parklands Pie".

Personally I thought it turned out quite well, especially since it took some effort and imagination to prepare as I was not working from a recipe, only the standard idea of making a quiche from memory. Basically it was constructed as follows:

• Lay the base of a pie dish with puff pastry, the type that you buy ready flattened, rolled and frozen in a packet from the supermarket. Bake the pastry base until cooked and puffy. (How the fuck should I know how to make pastry???)
• Peel and cube half a large butternut and boil for 20 minutes until soft. Add the 6 large courgettes (baby marrows) the last 3 minutes of boiling. Remove and drain of all excess water.
• Lay the vegetables over the pastry and crumble a decent hand-full of feta cheese over the veg.
• Mix up a tub of cream with 3 eggs, salt & pepper. Pour the mixture over the veg.
• Sprinkle with a generous helping of roasted seeds (pumpkin, etc)
• Slice up a pack of bacon and roughly lay over the vegetables.
• Bake in the oven at 220 degrees celcius for around 45 minutes

That's how I did mine anyway, and it tasted really good & wholesome, though my wife didn't like it! Which I don't quite understand, she said it tasted burned, which it certainly wasn't, and she didn't like that the base wasn't crispy, despite it being firm. So she made herself some supper on a stale bread-roll from Saturday night. Quite insulting, to be honest, but it's fine. Nobody's forced to eat my cooking, it's just a royal waste of money when we're on a very tight budget!

Anyway, Tammy had some and she seemed to quite enjoy it! And, I got a decent dosage of much needed fresh vegetables in my system again. Damage control from the weekend!

In fact I'm busy stuffing my gob with leftovers as I write this and I'm enjoying it more than yesterday! My poor body is singing my praises for feeding it veggies and not some slop with mayo again!

I haven't blogged about food much lately, hopefully this makes up somewhat. Sorry but I've had other shit on my mind lately, besides brandy, thus the distractions. Soon again I'll sit down and spew forth another load of crap from my over imaginative mind (sometimes) that will take 2 or 3 hours to compose in half decent grammar and spelling (you surely didn't think I'm a natural modern day Baard, did you? No it usually takes me a while to get my story right with careful proof reading and the correcting of plenty of mistakes along the way! Thank Bill for Windows spell-checker!!!)

In fact, after some of the compliments I've had lately about my blogs I've been thinking (yes that happens occasionally, usually with much clanking and clattering between my ears) that I might appear to get clever and start using a thesaurus, and heaven forbid even a dictionary (besides my wife) and let rip with some really big fancy words now and then! I might even pluck up the courage to do a creative writing course, if they'll have me! (They being the university I work for, they run the course and others like it for staff).

Though it's probably a good idea to start working on the Unisa course I signed up for, which I should be well into already, of which the first assignment is probably just about due! The main delay being a lack of funds to buy the text book, which I will do on Friday when I get paid before the banks rob me of my meager wages again!

Anyway peeps, I should probably get back to my job. Thanks for reading! And do try my veggie quiche - despite my dear wife's over-fussiness it really was worth the effort, I thought it was good! Even my colleague got a whiff of it earlier and said how nice it smelled!

Later...

Parklands Pie

That meal I described in yesterdays blog created a delicious image in my head as I wrote about it that stuck for the rest of the day so I went home and attempted it. Basically it was a vegetable & bacon quiche that I named "Parklands Pie".

Personally I thought it was quite good, especially since it took some effort and imagination to prepare as I was not working from a recipe, only the general way of  making a quiche from memory. Basically it was constructed as follows:

• Lay the base of a pie dish with puff pastry, the type that you buy ready flattened, rolled and frozen in a packet from the supermarket.
• Peel and cube half a large butternut and boil for 20 minutes until soft. Add the 6 large courgettes (baby marrows)
•  

I need vegetables...

Regarding my previous post from yesterday describing my severe hangover from Saturday night - its Monday lunch time and I'm still recovering from that piss-up! Definitely one of the worst ever hangovers, in fact I don't recall a hangover ever lasting 2 days, except when other chemicals were involved, way back in the day when my body was younger and stronger and more capable of maintaining the abuse I threw at it! But never mind that - history is history!

Clearly I'm getting old, regrettably! So me-thinks it's probably a good time to start slowing down with the heavy binge drinking and start putting more effort into managing my health! Because this is a shit feeling, and if that puto Marius and I are going to be hanging out more often we should probably change the agenda and not get shitface plastered every time just for the sake of it!

But first thing first I need to build up my stenth and mend my broken body & mind, and I reckon a good start will be a nice healthy dinner loaded with vegetables! I'm thinking something like a butternut, courgette & feta quiche or pie is a half decent plan, after a light session on the squash court (just because I feel so exhausted a heavy session will probably drop my sorry ass like a rock!)

We've got a mountain of courgettes, or baby marrows for the less well informed, that need to be eaten soon, and I was looking at a recipe for butternut quiche earlier, so why not combine them in a personalised concoction. I'm thinking a bit of finely chopped bacon will add a nice meaty dimension to the dish too. (I can just imagine my wife licking her chops reading this!)

Lunch was just a couple of hotdogs on stale rolls, leftover from Saturday night, but warmed up and drowned in tomato sauce they were tasty enough! If it weren't for my bowl of noodles with mayo 2 hears earlier I'd still be hungry, but it's fine, dinner is only a few hours off!

No wonder I'm getting so fucking fat!

Maybe these food blogs should start featuring some healthier meals! Not eating mayonnaise with just about everything will probably be a good start!

Some suggestions or comments from my readers won't go amiss, and some moral support will certainly be appreciated! I need to find some followers too, make it look like somebody gives a damn what I have to say!

Chaos

Today I'm suffering one of the worlds worst hangovers, and as it's self inflicted I don't expect any sympathy but it's still a hangover worth mentioning, as is the cause!

Last night my old mate Marius came over for a braai and to tell us about his experiences in Brazil, where
he spent the last 3 months of his life until last Tuesday. Poor guy is now in a situation where he has to start from scratch, with nothing, and his fiancée and daughter are still stuck in Brazil until he can come up with the money to fly them back here to SA. And as he's still unemployed I don't see how that's going to happen any time soon unless he manages to raise or borrow the money from somebody in a position to help. It goes without saying that I would help if I could, unfortunately I can't. I did suggest to him that we should think of a way to do some kind of fundraiser, like getting some kind of cool prize donated and hold a raffle. Fact is he needs to come up with around R13,000 to be reunited with his family again. Although it's not an official charity it's for a decent enough cause to hopefully get some donations, because I think he might struggle to convince somebody to loan him the money! Either way the poor dude needs to make a plan soon because his daughter Michelle is missing her daddy terribly, as is Adriana, his fiancée, and she is very unhappy in Brazil, alone without her man!

The two of them will be getting married soon after she gets back to SA so she will also be able to get some sort of a job. I really hope it works out for them, they are good people and deserving of a break. But then again don't we all!

So anyway, back to my problems, namely my broken body as a result of a mad party until late last night (closer to sunrise, actually, I think). After Marius dragged his sorry ass out of here this morning to go home (despite that it's not even his home! He is staying with his mom at a friend of hers because she is also unemployed and between homes) I had to get myself decent enough to head down to Tammy's school for a meet & greet with other parents. Needless to say I didn't meet any other parents, the potential encounters were tactfully avoided and we left quietly after 2 hours. We came home and I hit the couch for a couple of hours sleep. Fortunately Tammy also slept for a few hours so I was blissfully left in peace!

We made a lekker braai last night, naturally. Whenever Marius and I meet up there is always a braai involved along with copious volumes of alcohol! My liver seriously takes massive punishment whenever we get together, which I'm getting rather concerned about! Now that he'll be staying in Cape Town I'm thinking we need to change tactics somewhat and not strive to get completely shit-faced whenever we meet up!

Even though last night was just meant to be a relaxing evening to catch up on news it ended up getting more chaotic the more plastered we got. I just discovered about a hundred photo's taken last night that I don't remember taking, and you can see by the blankness in our faces the sheer magnitude of how fucked-up drunk we were! It's actually embarrassing!

At some stage we were lobbing flip flops at each other, one of which connected the bottle of brandy which hit the floor and shattered! I have a vague memory of this happening, and of the heartbreaking disappointment between us. And I vaguely remember sweeping, vacuuming and mopping up the floors! Fortunately Marius produced a bottle of brandy out of his car, a secret stash no doubt!

No sooner had I finished cleaning and another glass hit the floor and shattered. The sweeping and vacuuming all over again, while my mate just watched on pissing himself! At least he got a nasty cut on his leg as punishment. Though I don't think either of us knows how he cut himself, halfway up his leg! Chop!

I also broke one of the garden chairs, which would explain my swollen and very sore elbow today. I must've leaned back on the chair because one of the back legs snapped off! I don't remember it happening but it was apparently me! We also got crazy with the fire, burning the window shutters that came off the walls when my house was painted last year. The varnish on the wood made quite serious flames!

So overall a night of destruction! Hopefully the last of it's kind for a while! One and a half litres of brandy between two of us is what some people may term as excessive! I believe them!

The fires of hell

So today has just turned out to be one of those fucken shit days that I no longer want to be a part of! It is unfortunately Friday, a day we should all celebrate just because it's Friday, the start of the weekend, baby! 

Baby my hairy arse!

Firstly I'm going through a not-so-nice depro session because of my finances and where my life has taken me, and is heading, career wise! I've got ambitions, and great ideas, but I feel like I'm stuck in a deep hole with my hands tied! The light at the top of the tunnell is a long way off! 

I'm so broke at the moment the proverbial doormouse is laughing at me! Not even 10 bucks to rub together! It's just been one of those really bad months that comes along every once in a while (like nearly every month these days!) I expected the annual pay rise at work to come through, but it didn't because of an admin error, specifically they "didn't know what rate to raise my salary by" so they just fucking didn't! Plus the extra I had to put aside for Tammy's school fees that needed to be paid up front for the year! So of course, after the bond, etc came off I was left with sweet fuckall!

To top it off I tried to get an overdraft from the bank, just to get through the month, which was declined BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF A CREDIT RATING! NOT A BAD CREDIT SCORE, JUST NOT ENOUGH OF ONE!!!! Mutherfuckers! Who do they think they are deciding how to fuck up my life because their computer says so! But I've already been into detail about that!

But then... my wife managed to get an overdraft without question, because she HAS a credit rating because until last year we had the joint account, which was in her name... do the math! It sucks dogs bollox the way I was silently screwed because of that otherwise convenient set-up!

Now, she has money, I haven't got a clue how much? For some reason it's a fucking secret, despite the fact that MY bank account is perused at convenience! As I have no money left I have to ask for cash for anything, and I feel like a fucking toss having to ask for money for smokes! Even worse I haven't had a drink in a week as a result, which being an alcoholic is not necessary a bad thing, but it's by force, not choice, and at a time when I could really fucking do with a strong drink! And I dare not even ask for cash for that - I like my head on my shoulders! So of course the withdrawals is fuelling my deepening depression and bitterness at the unfairness of life!

Booo fucking hooo!

I've been feeling bad all week because I want to get my best mate over for a braai tomorrow, just a cheap affair with a bottle of brandy, because he's just returned from Brazil after 3 months and we've got catching up to do! 2 days ago wife said no, outright, we can do it NEXT weekend rather! How cool is that! It's not!  It feels shit to be dictated to like that, as an educated adult, because I am not the one with the money because I have spent all mine on my family! So this morning I said fuckit - Marius is coming over tomorrow. I'll use a credit card and pay it back next week. So now there's bad vibes again, my foul mood not helping of course, and yet again my conscience is clawing at me like a rabid lion inside my head. It feels shit, I feel bad. Yet am I so wrong???

I feel guilty for fighting with Liezel again, especially as it's over money. But I'm stubborn, and I feel fucked over, so the blood is still boiling! 

I'm also in the shit with the missus because apparently I was flirting with somebody, which I wasn't! I openly gave somebody a compliment, that somebody happened to be a girl! I suppose I'll get this one in the neck on the drive home today too! Can't fucking wait to have to splutter out a defence for this one! II'll never cheat on my wife and jeapordise my family for such a selfish act, but you can bet I'll still be found guilty!

Of course the daily traffic nightmare just raises my anger levels above a healthy level, but that's nobody's fault so I just gotta deal with it! Fair enough. It's hell, but there's no way out of that if I'm to continue being employed! 

Then to add insult to injury my boss & I had an argument over something silly, something I was accused of doing which I didn't do, something that wasn't even a problem. Basically my original titleblock that I designed had an automated date field, which updated with a double click. The new titleblock that was designed (by her) didn't have that feature because it wasn't understood. Now I was working on a drawing that had the auto-date field in it and I got kakked out that it was there. OTT because I didn't put it there firstly, and secondly it works as it should - you need to TELL it to update, saves time in typing in the date each time! But no apparently the problem is it does it automatically and that causes problems for my colleague! BUT, it doesn't work that way, and I proved it! It doesn't auto update the date just on opening the file!

So now there's bad vibes here in the office, which is uncomfortable, but what fucks me off even more is the fact that if I am wrong about something I have no shame in admitting it! But if I'm right for fuck sakes have the decency to admit it! I'm not gonna gloat, it's not an issue, but the shit I got was unnecessary! 

I'm not a fucking kid and I'm sick of being treated like one from all directions in my life!

To add insult to injury I'm really jealous of just about everybody I know going to the U2 concert tonight! I'd love to be going, but seeing as I'm not I hope it pisses with rain and the wind blows your socks off!

Ok admittedly I feel better now, that was a decent rant! It doesn't solve my problems, but it helps me feel a little less sorry for my miserable ass!

Oh, and I expect I'm probably gonna get into shit for witing this blog too! No problem, I like sleeping on the couch anyway! I get the TV!

The Pits

Photo Courtesy of Tammy Strapp.

On the 29th of January, which feels like aeons ago, I performed my first live gig in over 2 years.


I'm a reasonably good drummer with attitude, not quite a Danny Carey (Tool), Joey Jordison (Slipknot) or Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater) much as I wish in my wildest wet dreams I could be like those chopstick legends! But I can hold a beat and pull off a decent performance with energy and style, and have done so at hundreds of gigs spanning about fifteen years in numerous original rock bands, in Cape Town and London city.


My latest band, "The Pits", is a rockabilly influenced punk/indie outfit. That's my description, it's probably not the 'official' defined genre. When I joined Sven and Milli after we met through Gumtree.co.za they were doing rockabilly, with an electronic drum machine. My style of drumming is hard rock with lots of rolls, fills & noise, which added a completely new dimension to the music, I think for the good, judging by comments from some members of the audience who've seen Sven & Milli perform at previous shows with their little drum machine.

Sven & Milli Duncker, the original two members of the band, are a husband & wife team, they write the music. I just add the beats. The old drummer joke: "What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? - "Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"" comes to mind! I'm perfectly happy with this arrangement, I don't have the talent to write music and my singing is so severely bad I've been banned from the microphones in previous bands!

Our first gig was a fun, high energy master performance of 10 songs pulled off like pro's after only 5 practices together as a full 3-piece. The venue was the Viper Lounge in Blouberg, the gig was their official 'Live' launch party to kickstart a new era of live music at the popular local biker bar. We were one of 7 top local Indie bands showing off our wares to an awesome audience of groupies, friends, locals, smelly bikers, fellow muso's and loads of hot chicks.


Despite my blisters from the night before's practice ripping open from the first song I soldiered on and actually had a blast! Personally not my tightest ever performance but certainly one of the most enjoyable, probably because my long thirst for the stage was quenched at last, but honsetly I also enjoy jamming the music the band does. From the drumming side the songs are fairly strait forward and funky which gives me more flexibility to make it interesting, compared to some of the draconianly rigid stuff I've had to play in previous bands where whacking the wrong cymbal earned looks of death from the front man.


Of course the 1 litre draughts of Castle afterwards (fitting in aptly amongst the big, hairy bikers) was the perfect coolant after half an hour of sweating like the Victoria Falls!


I set up the camcorder to record the gig, the video's are available on YouTube. My two favourite songs are the last two tracks "Johnny Spider Hands" and "Kicking Dog". Have a look & listen, it's quite cool! My cousin Tim also took a load of photo's (I'd do it myself but I was kinda pre-occupied with working the drums), they are here on Facebook.
There was also a hot little pro photographer taking pics at the gig, Ramdom Tam. She took the one above, I'm hoping more will emerge still because she got some great shots from the few I've seen so far! I had a chat to her after the show, she generally photographs concerts and shows and the like. Exactly the kind of thing I'd love to do, along with family, schools and commercial gigs. She had some stunning equipment though! I'm a long way off that kind of professional gear, and until I can sweet talk a bank or somebody nice to invest in my ideas, which I think will take some convincing still, I'll stick to drumming!


{sidetracked again...}


We haven't yet had another rehearsal since the gig, I specifically asked for time off so my blisters could heal! I know I'm a real pussy for moaning about some little blisters, but they were compounding and burned like a bitch every time I played. It's just from being out of practice for so long and not giving my girl fingers time to man-up. From now onwards it shouldn't be a problem and I'm fully itching to get my chops out and rock hard at 12pm on Saturday at our next band practice, which is usually at Kill City Blues in Cape Town.


How much fun is this, dude...

3 Sisters, 2 Brothers, a Dad, and a couple of old friends...

The long story I had planned on writing this past Sunday has kind of faded away along with the thoughts and ideas I'd planned on pounding out on my keyboard and onto the blog. But since the Missus keeps hoarding my PC at home and work has been busy this is the first real chance I've had.

It's not eally as exciting as it sounds, it's really just an account of the events of the weekend, pre-Sunday, and the pre-ceding history that make the events a little interesting.

Friday: 
We were invited to a braai at a strangers house in Century City, which in it's own right is not the most thrilling occasion to share with the world, I mean as South Africans we braai all the time for no reason at all other than as an excuse to socialise randomly with copious volumes of alcohol consumption, and I didn't do the cooking so the food will only be mentioned in passing.

The interesting fact is the people we were invited by. They are a couple with a 3 year old daughter who are friends from London, they were in Cape Town for a couple of days for a wedding so we took the opportunity to meet up. South African bloke Brett, his wife Ilaria is Italian, with little Madison.

The food was, of course, a braai, with meat, and potatoes, and rabbit food (salad). Very nice braai. That's the food. Whoopee. The "braai-master" was rather arrogantly possesive of his braai and how the food was cooked, to the point he insisted on dishing up our meat in even portions. There were around 12 intrigued adults at the party, with 3 kids.

Madison & Tammy - 4 Feb 2008

Madison & Tammy - 11 Feb 2011

Liezel and I met Brett & Ilaria around 3 and a half years ago in London, in St George's hospital in Tooting. Liezel was in hospital with Pre-Eclampsia, the complication that caused Tammy to come into this world 3 months early. Ilaria was in the same ward as Liezel at the same time, and they got talking... the guys came to visit and we got talking, and of course ended up in the local pub, The Colliers Tup, for a few hearty drinking sessions.

Anyway, Ilaria was discharged from hospital without further problems to go on to have her baby at full term, while Liezel stayed in to have Tammy, which is another long story for another day in the near future.

A few months after when Tammy & Liezel were both home we got together with Brett & Ilaria and baby Maddy again, which resulted in some adorable photo's of the two little ones dressed in white baby growers cuddled up in a strange C-shaped pillow, like the one on the left.

We got together as families a few times after that, Brett and I had a few more serious sessions in the Tup.

Then in April 2008 we moved back 'home' to South Africa and we haven't seen each other since. They now live and work in Switzerland, lucky buggers! Must be an awesome life! I've been to Geneva and it's a beautiful place!

Well the Friday evening visit was fun, great to catch up again, but unfortunately short lived as I had to be up early on saturday morning for a long drive into the middle of nowhere and back, in a day...

Saturday:
Sucker I am I was up at 04h30 on a Saturday morning. The mission: my brother and I drive our injured dad up to 3 Sisters in the middle of the Karoo, to meet Ronny so she could take him the rest of the way home to Gaborone, via a stop-over in Kimberley.

I met them at Warryn's (my younger brother) place where dad spent the night; we piled into dad's hired Toyota Corolla, and headed off into the sunrise towards the vast, magnificent expanse of the Greater Karoo. Little bro & I took turns driving the ridiculously weak vehicle (remind me never to buy a Corolla, seriously crap car! My Polo is much better!), while dad relaxed in the passenger seat nurturing his two broken ribs. It's the first time in ages that just the three of us were together, alone, for some "quality time", and probably the longest ever! We spoke about all kinds of interesting manly stuff like sport, women, etc; but naturally the dominant conversations were regarding careers and jobs and financial futures, as always. Though I don't feel uncomfortable over these chats like in previous years, I used to dread the "what are you doing with your life?" speeches from dad and much of my adult life I felt inferior and a failure because I wasn't able to impress and make him proud. It felt as if I was always making excuses and coming up with feeble attempts at making an impression, none of which ever worked because little that I attempted came to fruition, as far as dad was concerned. For whatever reason that was, I always felt belittled and intimidated by dad, who himself has made a great success of his career life. Even now when we spoke about my ideas for a future business and my current job etc I got the feeling he wasn't even interested, let alone took anything I said seriously. But I suppose I can't blame him, based on past experience.

To be honest I understand he meant well, that he wanted the best for us, like any parent would; and in hindsight in some ways I regret not taking his advice and utilising his help differently. I admit I fucked around irresponsibly for too many years of my early adulthood, didn't take the seious stuff more seriously and I hated being harassed and picked on by dad about my life all those years.

Fortunately in the last few years I have grown up and realised the errors of my ways, and I'm doing something about it. My wife and I are trying hard to build a decent life for ourselves and a good future for our daughter, and we are proudly doing it all without any handouts or bail-outs. We have a nice, comfortable, secure home that is ours, and we've built ourselves up through the job ranks quickly in the last few years and will continue to do so, especially Liezel - she's damn good at what she does - me, my best bet is starting my own company sometime soon as possible because my current job won't get much higher without major tertiary education, I will strive to achieve that business and work as hard as it takes to make it a success!

My biggest regret in life is not going to university after school and getting a decent qualification; but someday I swear I will get a degree... someday when I can afford it I will do it, no matter how long it takes!

Boo hoo for me, I'm not looking for pity, just telling it how it is in my head. The fact is I don't feel that way about dad anymore and haven't for a while. To be precise since my daughter was born I felt I achieved the most perfect thing ever and I know I'm a great dad, and I'm damn proud of myself and my little family, whatever anybody else thinks! The other stuff will come in good time!

Also, dad has chilled out a lot since Tammy came along, we actually get on quite well for the first time ever and I'm really enjoying the relationship! I look forward to seeing the old fart these days and I love seeing him with Tammy, that kid has a tight grip on his heartstrings! He's a good man, one I admire now and respect, and I hope and pray he takes care of himself and sticks around for a long time to come because we still have a lot of catching up to do, let alone lots of fish to catch!

I've veered off course here...

At around 11.30 we arrived at Three Sisters, a remote filling station in the middle of nowhere, a place that felt as hot as what I imagine hell must be like! We delivered the package and sent him on his way to Kimberley with Ronny, dad's lovely wife.

The road back was interesting. Along the way we saw a derailed freight train and stopped to have a look. It seemed to be a grain carrier, according to the security guards patrolling the site the train crashed because a bridge was damaged by massive flash floods 2 days earlier. The engines were still on the track, though clearly derailed, but the cars were trashed! Quite a sight!

Then, to really spice things up, we got delayed in Laingsburg, which was even hotter than Three Sisters, because some dumb idiot crashed his big flatbed trailer into our car (actually dad's hired car) and smashed the front right fender! The damage wasn't too serious, the car was still drivable, thank fuck, and the fender was secure enough to hold on back to Cape Town. But we needed to get a police report which took some time because there are forms... long, tedious forms... and of course the local cops were in no hurry, us being their only action for the day, most probably!

Anyway, after the drama was finalised we all shook hands like gentlemen, swearing under our breaths soon as our backs were turned, and headed on our merry ways once more!

The second half of the journey was spent with Warryn taking hundreds of pictures of the landscape from the car window, most of which were blurry, out of focus, off contrast, or missed completely! Thanks little bro for the time consuming job of deleting and filtering down to the remaining decent few. To give due credit he did also land a few decent shots, thanks to the law of avereges I suppose!

Back in Cape Town we stopped for a quick beer at the Dros, I dropped Warryn at home, then headed back to my house to commence drowning my thirst further with half a bottle of my usual whiskey.

Dad's broken ribs:
Now the reason this whole adventure took place in the first instance is the fact that daddy dear managed to injure himself in quite dramatic fashion on Tuesday, landing himself in hospital for 3 days.

He was in town for the week for the annual African Mining Indaba, a big conference for the mining industry.

The story goes that he got to his hotel room on Tuesday evening after an evening of dinner preceded by a boat trip. As he sat down he felt bad pains in his chest, poor bugger thought he was having a heart attack and probably left skid marks in his jocks as he fumbled with his phone to call for help. The ambulance arrived and rushed him off to Christiaan Barnard Hospital in the city, where they did tests and x-rays only to find his heart was still marching on like a battle-hardened soldier but he had two broken ribs! Not just cracked, but severed, broken!

The bizarre thing was that he didn't know how he broke the ribs because he hadn't felt pain before. Surely you'd know if you break bones in your body! I've never had the misfortune of breaking a bone, but I believe it hurts like a bitch! So how did this mysterious injury just suddenly appear, unprovoked. There was not even bruising until 2 days later.

Well, gradually the story emerged of a fall on the boat which started as a light stumble that didn't touch anything, to quite a bad fall that involved connecting the railing with force. I wonder if there were a few beers involved, but so what if there were... the deck was still just as slippery!

So anyway, the doctor forbade dad from flying again any time soon, or from driving a vehicle. And being the stubborn bastard he is with the patience of a brick there was no way on earth he was going to hang around in Cape Town, helpless as an invalid, for who knows how long. So we clubbed heads together, co-ordinating with Ronny and decided to do the trip that we did on Saturday.

By Sunday evening dad was returned safe and happy to his own home to be pampered and fussed over by his loving wife! I just hope he takes it easy to recover as soon as possible without doing something silly and causing more damage!

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That my friends, is all I'm contributing to this story! I had more planned, but that will have to come another time, along with the long mental list I have in mind of topics for my blogs!

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Chops

No I'm not talking about our government again, rather our dinner last night. A simple meal of pork chops fried in butter & braai salt and basted at the end with Jimmy's sauce. Served with baked potatoes, baby carrots, and a cauliflower/broccoli mix from a frozen packet. I made a creamy cheese & pepper sauce which I drowned my food in, as always! Like people often say "have some food with your sauce mate!"

Breakfast today was salami liver spread & cheese on toast. Lekker healthy!

This morning, for the third day in a row I missioned off to the Chris Barnard building on Medical Campus to survey the place. The building is 10 floors so lots of work to do, and as some areas are highly restricted there were naturally delays. I managed to get access to most areas in the end, except half of one floor where I'd need to strip down, change into protective clothing and go through decontamination chambers to get in and out. Fascinating as it seems, I didn't go in, fortunately the guy who runs the place gave me the detailed info I need.

Interesting place with some fascinating stuff going on. Unfortunately I'm not permitted to discuss what is in there and what goes on, at the risk of losing my job, so don't ask!

Though this was not nearly as fascinating, and downright nightmarish, compared to the basement of the Anatomy building! Horror movies like "Saw" will make me laugh in future, after the shit I saw there!

The other thing going on in my weird world at the mo is that I'm actually gradually spiraling into a mild depression over my financial worries. I won't go into detail, but the fact is I'm flat broke, again, with over a week to go until pay-day, and the fact that my employers screwed me out of an anticipated annual pay-rise at the same time as everybody else in January (because they didn't know what rate to put me on because I never received a performance review!) really didn't help matters! Hopefully it's sorted and back-paid this month! I earn a reasonable salary, and I don't waste money except for the odd bottle of cheap whiskey and a pack of smokes every few days, yet after bills and debts have been paid I have very little left to get through the month! It's a constant worry and it's really getting me down lately! I don't know what to do to get some extra cash in, fuck I can't even afford a lotto ticket! How bad is that! And the most fucked up thing of all is the bank, MY bank, will not help me with a temporary overdraft or a credit card because I do not have enough of a credit rating!!! I do not have a bad credit score, just not enough of one, because I "don't have the right kind of debts"! Fucking mortgage, car, personal loan, etc doesn't count! You need expensive store cards and consumer accounts to be able to get more debt!!! Not that I want more debt, but this month I needed a respite, and my bank basically told me to fuck off because I don't have enough debt of the bad kinds to qualify for a decent credit score! Somehow that system does not seem to make sense to me! I was never a boff in financial matters (clearly), but this bullshit seems all wrong! Even more intriguing is the fact that the consultants at the bank, which one always seems to have to wait ages to speak to, seem unable to think for themselves nor are they permitted to use their discretion; everything they tell you comes from their computer screen! They speak on behalf of a fucking machine, which in turn dictates our lives and subsequently causes unnecessary shit through no fault of our own! All my bills and debts are paid meticulously every month, but that too counts for sweet fuck-all!

I am so disappointed in my bank (FNB) it actually hurts, after I was so happy with them since I joined them after the rip-off bunch of idiots that was Absa! They have made me feel like a criminal, like I'm not worthy of the products they otherwise force down the average mans throat! Hell they offered me a credit card and overdraft when I signed up with them, when they didn't know me from Adam, both of which I politely declined at the time! But spend a year with them as a loyal customer diligently paying my dues and suddenly I'm no longer worthy!

Somebody please explain that logic to me!

Anyway, I'll play their game and get a few store cards, such as Edgars where I buy my clothing anyway. Hopefully from next month onwards the need for more bank debt will not be an issue again!

One of these days I'll get my own business going, whatever that turns out to be, my outstanding debts will be paid, and the bullshit banks can kiss my hairy white arse until kingdom come! One day I'll be rich... just watch this space...

Apologies for this rant, it was not intended right now. I just got worked up again over my depressing financial woes.

In context with the original article, my bank is the biggest bunch of chops! Fuck-em!

Sunset Valentines with my 2 favourite girls!

Valentines day in my marriage was not the traditional romantic experience of a couple enjoying time alone to woo and impress with edible gifts in heart shaped boxes, dinner for two by candle-light, maybe a cheesy romantic movie or a stroll down the promenade holding hands and singing soppy serenades, all climaxing in an explosive shag, the best since the 14th February last year! No, for us it started with an extra long hour and a half miserable slog in 34 degree heat through the usual nightmare traffic that drives my stress levels to an unhealthy level daily, only to just pick up the Tamsyn on time at 6pm when the school closes, before popping home for a quick snack and a refreshing change into some comfortable clothes. Then off to the beach, as a family!

As always Tammy had an absolute ball at the beach, frolicking excitedly in the waves, or digging up the beach in creative creations with her little plastic spades, or cheerfully collecting mussel shells in her bucket, meticulously demanding mom washes them as she picked them up.

The outing as a family was fun and relaxing after a long hot day of the usual work & school routine. The evening was stunning, the usually icy water refreshing, and the beach was filled with happy families and couples young & old doing the romantic thing. Plenty of eye-candy around for a randy birdwatcher, but of course I wasn't looking at anybody but my sexy wife!













As you can see the sunset was spectacular! Except I couldn't catch Tammy to stand still long enough to get her in a couple of the sunset shots! Little bugger can run like a pikkinin with a rottweiler on his ass!

After sunset we decided to head home instead of the Blue Peter, as planned, because Tammy was wet and cold and getting grumpy. Dinner was a romantic scrambled eggs on toast, mine which I chowed in front of my PC, before retiring to bed an hour before my wife!

But there is a lot of love in this house. It's old and comfortable and not always romantic, but it's here!
I wouldn't change my family for any other no matter the price!