Crazy + Stupid = Ambition

Right now I'm feeling happy as a pig in a puddle of shit, excited beyond overwhelming at the prospect of the new career I'm embarking on; and at the same time nervous as all hell at the sheer amount of money I have just spent at around 13h30 today and whether/when I will be able to pay it off!

I have just purchased the basic tools that will shape my future career as a photographer, a professional photographer. A career I have been pondering and dreaming of for years with little hope of achieving due to the expense of the training and equipment needed. I now have the training in motion and the basic equipment I need to get this dream to transform into an exciting reality, thanks to my first ever (now blown) credit card!

I went to Orms Photo Warehouse in Cape Town, an amazing place with everything a photographer could dream of! After 20 minutes I walked out with the following:

• Nikon D7000 camera body
• Nikon AF-S Nikkor 18-200mm VR II Lens
• Nikon SB-700 Speedlight Flash
• Sony Cybershot W520 Compact point & shoot camera (For the wife, her birthday present this year)
• Spare battery for the D7000
• 2 x 8GB memory cards for the D7000
• Large Nikon camera bag

Yes it's effectively just one camera and lens with a speedflash and some accessories, but it's a bloody good start. As time goes by I'll include a few extra lenses for different situations, but the next important thing I need to invest in is a portable studio-to-go kit. This will allow gigs such as family and portrait photography and schools photography, both genres which I will be marketing my business to extensively next year when it's up and running!

I would LOVE to also invest in a serious telephoto zoom at least 500mm, which I'll double with a teleconverter unit for bird and wildlife photography, an ultra wide angle "fish-eye" lens for wide angle and landscape shots, and a macro lens for close up pictures. But these and other gadgets will come as and when my income allows and the need arises. For now the lens I got today, an big upgrade from the very good kit lens on offer with the camera, will suffice as it's a multi use lens capable of decent levels of all shooting conditions. Oh yes, and I'll probably make good use of a sturdy tripod too!

I am very much in love with my new toys and chomping at the bit with anticipation of getting to know how it works and taking photo's that make the world a brighter place!

In the meantime, if you've bothered reading this far and are feeling particularly generous, I would love to get my hands on some reading material, either of the following:

• D7000. From snapshots to great shots. By John Batdorf
• David Busch's Nikon D7000 Guide to Digital SLR Photography

Much appreciated, thanks for reading! Now to get this lot insured by the end of the day!

And so it begins...

This evening I began the serious adventure of becoming a photographer! Not just the annoying idiot with a camera stuck to his face, the resident tourist at every event, outing and social gathering, snapping away randomly and relentlessly at everything that moves; as people who know me will begrudgingly recall. I don't think there's a person I know or a place I've been to that doesn't have a folder with a series of photo's on my PC's hard drives.

No, I'm no longer the "happy-snapper" with my fancy old Nikon D40x DSLR, now  I'm moving up in the world and going PRO!!!

This evening I enrolled in the Professional Photography diploma course through the Photography Institute, an online home-study based course spanning 6 months of intensive technical training.

The course is expensive, even with the 25% discount I managed to bargain out of them, but I've been researching various courses for weeks now and after extensive pouring through websites and forums gathering opinions from many people I chose to bite the bullet and go for this one.

I've already downloaded module 1, which is apparently easy, and already it's filled with all kinds of fascinating information that I didn't know, and don't yet quite understand. The assignment at the end looks to be a rigid test of my understanding of the equipment described in the 88 page tutorial, I'm sure if that's the easy part the rest of the course will be a challenge, which I will relish, absorb and pass well above the required 60% to achieve my diploma!

This course is my first serious step towards becoming a professional photographer! Big words that, I know. "Professional" means somebody who is a specialist in their field of work, and earn money from that field of expertise because they are good at what they do. I intend to be that person, and I am planning to start my own business as a "Professional Photographer" by mid 2012.

Right now that is still a vague intention, however serious, there are many aspects that I need to figure out and work hard towards before that ambition is realised, many of which I'm probably still not even aware of. But this course, combined with the Small Business Management course I did through Unisa a few months back will be a good grounding for basic business practices and professional expertise. Slot in the great ideas I'm already conjuring up in my wild imagination and I am warning the world now - a revolution is in the making!

BUT, like my dear wife keeps harassing me not to discuss my plans with the world through my blog - I will heed her advice and keep the details of my business plan secret until it is ready to be launched; where the beast will be unleashed unto the world ready to capture it's beauty and savagery in all it's magnificent glory and transforming moments in time into lasting memories of her multitude of inhabitants.

And in between all that I should probably make the effort to get to gym too. I can't conquer the world with a camera as an unattractive fat fuck, unfit and lazy to the core! No, I'm going to look the part too.

BTW, I conquered Tuesday without a drink, day 3, and quite honestly don't even miss it (yet) despite the stack of bottles of beer, brandy & wine on the kitchen counter left over from Saturday.

Anyway, enough philosophical waffling, I'm going to bed!

Dry August

The hot winds of change are blowing... and by that I don't mean the 28 degree berg wind roasting us in the middle of winter!

I have once again reached a point in my existence where I've realised I need to make some serious changes, one of which is to try, for the third time, to seriously tackle my drinking problem. So I've decided to go dry for the whole of August, to remain alcohol free for the whole month. This will serve not only to save money and to be a lot healthier, and more alive; but mainly as a challenge to myself to gage how well I can cope without the booze. I can't afford rehab (nor have any desire for such drastic measures), and I'm not interested in the AA (been there, done that, it didn't work for me!) so I'm just going to slog it out alone, hopefully with a bit of encouragement from my family. If this lasts the month, I'll take it from there. In my wildest dreams I might make it to Christmas, and quit smoking by then too... but like they say... baby steps, one at a time!

My last drink, in copious amounts, was on Saturday night 30 July until about 3am on Sunday the 31st. It's now Tuesday, so far so good! If anybody wants to back me up on my endeavour please do so on the comments below or email me at justindeklerk@aol.com, NOT on my Facebook wall please! I do still have some pride and dignity!

BTW, this has nothing to do with the Muslim fasting of Ramadan, it's just a timely co-incidence!

The reason I've come to this decision to attempt this feat of willpower against a long term addiction which I admittedly enjoy is that I've had enough time wasted through painful hangovers, and I feel I'm missing out on my daughter's growing up by being in the daze of drunk all the time. I get drunk every couple of days, at home, alone, usually on whiskey, which is clearly not healthy nor is it helpful to our already highly strained finances. My wife probably doesn't believe me and I don't blame her, but I'll have to deal with that in stride.

The other thing is I am on an eager and highly motivated drive to invest in starting some kind of serious career in photography, which is going to include undertaking some studies again which will no-doubt take up a lot of time. I've spent a lot of time in recent weeks in thought and researching on the internet about photography, and I'm excited as all hell to get into this like I've not been excited in years! It's something I really enjoy and one of the few things I'm actually fairly good at, and I firmly believe in myself that with some good training and some decent semi-pro gear I will be quite good, good enough to break into the world of professional photography that actually generates a reasonable income. Part-time at first, of course, but someday I'd love, absolutely LOVE to be working full time as a photographer taking the kind of pictures that make people go WOW!

So at lunch time today I'm heading off to Orms in Cape Town to check out some gear. I've got my heart set on the Nikon D7000.

The course I'm almost decided on is the Photography Institute diploma course in professional photography. It's an online home-study course that seems to cover everything photographical.

I'm well excited, and so far it's proving to be a successful distraction from the thought of alcohol.

My life has become frustratingly boring, uninteresting and for much of it unpleasant to the point of near depression (boo hoo for me) due to my deadpan routine, the people that I have to deal with daily and the depressing soul-destroying shit I have to put up with, and still having to mull over the fact that I have achieved nothing worth bragging about in life (besides my awesome child) and the prospect being trapped in this hell hole until I die unless I start fucking climbing!

The time has come for change, for the better...

Wish me luck!

Alien Bugz

The other day I spotted this little clump of bugs eggs, no idea what laid them on the wall near my front door, but they certainly fascinated me, and more so little Tammy who was very excited about the eggs.
They are around half a millimeter each, and laid in perfect little rows aligned perfectly alongside each other. If you look closely you can see the little nuclei on each one. Or it may even be the little alien eye watching us from within it's egg. I've never seen this kind of thing before, and although I do really believe they hail from one of our indigenous earth-born creatures, they do seem rather alien. Only in Hollywood are aliens green human-like figures with big bulging eyes and slime-covered skin, or fearsome multi-limbed monsters with jaws full of teeth protruding from jaws full of teeth, acid blood, and slime-covered skin. Who says they can't be like this; harmless looking tiny bug-like creatures that will quickly mutate into cunning parasites waiting for the first intelligent earth creature (good luck finding many of those in this corner of the globe) to eat it's way into and suck out all it's brain juice!

Well exactly 10 days later these things hatched, as you can see on the next photo. Strange even more alien-looking pitch black hairy little worms. Quite cute looking little things actually, I was rather intrigued. They hung around their eggs for about a day then they vanished, or were eaten by something. I don't mind what they are as long as they didn't make my home their home and they don't eat people!

On the topic of creatures eating creatures, last night I made chicken schnitzel for the first time. It wasn't even intended, the schnitzels were the face-saving of another recipe I tried that flopped! I was trying to make chicken escalopes, basically flattened chicken breast rolled up with a filling and fried. Well I destroyed the chicken, rolling them out flat looks very easy in the picture, not so easy to do! Mine were not possible to be rolled up, so I crumbed them in egg and bread crumbs and fried them, then spread the filling I'm made over them and grilled the schnitzels. Sorry I don't have a photo because they looked and tasted fantastic! Even my wife had no negative criticism of my cooking for a change. The filling was made from butter, cream cheese, feta cheese, fresh garlic finely chopped, herbs and black pepper. That wasn't from a recipe, just a mix of stuff that was available in my fridge, but damn it tasted good!

I just had a leftover schnitzel and baked potato for lunch in the office just now. Nobody's said anything yet, but I'm sure the pong of garlic is noticeable!

So for now it's the weekend baby. Woo hoo! It's going to be a busy one. I've got squash courts booked this evening, tomorrow and Sunday morning. Tomorrow morning we've got some banking to do. I'm picking up the first credit card I've ever owned. Although I've had numerous credit cards for years they have always been Liezels cards or joint accounts in her name. We've racked up big debts on her cards, mostly from her obsessive spending so recently she removed my cards from my wallet, which was like an "I don't trust you" kick in the nads, so I decided to finally get my own that I can control, and of course build up a decent credit score. Anyway, after the bank it's Tammy's swimming lessons, then hopefully if I'm allowed to I'd like to watch the Springboks-Wallabies game and chill out the rest of the day with some stuff to do around the house and no doubt a load of chores delegated by the madam. Then Sunday it's off to visit my mom for lunch with a stop over at Ouma along the way. Haven't seen the old birds in a while, gotta do the family duties!

Ag shame, my poor mom had surgery on her foot this morning for Morton's Neuroma. She should be awake by now, I'd better give her a quick call. Hope she feels ok. That's why we're visiting on Sunday, to give her a hand and make her lunch.

Have a great weekend peeps!

Farewell to a legend, RIP Ronald Yon!

Yesterday was the funeral of Ronald Yon, my wife's uncle, a legend of a man, the rock of a family, and the inspiration to turn a funeral into a party!

Ronald Yon & his neice Liezel.

About 3 weeks ago Ronald was diagnosed with a brain tumor, last Thursday morning he passed away from complications as a result of surgery to remove the tumor. He was 64.

I didn't know Ronald all that well, and I've only had the pleasure of being in his company a few times, but what I do know of the guy is that he was a top bloke and adored by many people, especially his family. His cheerfulness and warmth was always infectious. The times I did see him there were always lots of people around, and usually copious volumes of brandy! He was the life of the party, the centre of attention, people gravitated to his warm, cheeerful and welcoming personality. He would usually talk the hind legs off a donkey, the stories getting more extravagant the more brandy was consumed, his tales were always entertaining and often fascinating, albeit sometimes to be taken with a load of salt. We got on well together, as did everybody around him, we had a good few laughs over a good few drinks on a number of occasions. He was great with the kids, my Tammy loved him, often following him around and playing with him in the pool.

His departure from this world has certainly left a large void in many people's lives. As little as I knew him, I will certainly miss him too. The world has lost a true hero, a legend of his time; and heaven has scored a great angel!

He leaves behind his wife Wilma, 3 daughters, a mom, sister, brother, 4 grandchildren and a large network of extended family and friends.

Fortunately him and his family did not have to endure a long drawn out suffering with the cancer, as so often happens causing severe damage to families. Of course I wish he was still around, and that I'd seen him before he passed away like we'd planned to do last weekend, though I am happy that my memories of him were while he was his usual happy and healthy self! It's how I would also prefer to be remembered, not as a sick dying old man with tubes and machines protruding from my failing body.

Today, the day after his funeral, his wife Wilma is attending to the birth of his youngest daughter Linda's first child. He missed it by less than a week. A life to replace a life. It certainly seems like a cruel joke from above, but I think most people have accepted that this is the way it works.

As for the funeral - well I can say for sure that I am one of a group of people who have a hangover today as a result. (note the first 3 letters of "funeral" = "fun")

Ironically one of  the last times I actually saw Ronny was at his younger brothers funeral, his brother being Cedric, my wife's dad. And that too ended up as a pissup. Just the way I reckon they would've wanted! The last time I saw Ronald was at his daughter Linda's wedding, the daughter who is delivering his 4th grandchild today.

The service itself was held at the New Apostolic church in Milnerton. Attended by his closest friends and family, it was a lovely service and a fitting tribute to his life. Afterwards the congregation gathered at the Edgemead scout hall for snacks. Actually is was a feast fit for kings, loads of delicious food all prepared by Ronalds wife and family. As a professional eater of all things edible (except brinjil) I was highly impressed. Unfortunately I couldn't stay long, this sucker had to get back to work.

Then the fun started... I was instructed to go back to Ronalds house after work, where I found my girls, Wilma and a group of friends and family, already a few innings into various forms and strenths of alcohol. I expected no less, needless to say we all drank loads and were actually quite merry, I'm sure the way Ronny would've wanted. After getting to know his lovely family a bit better I took my family home.

The day was a fitting farewell to a wonderful man! My prayers and thoughts go out to his family as they begin the grieving process and I wish them all long, prosperous and happy lives, revelling in the happiness and love that Ronald left among them. All the best to Linda and Richard, I hope the birth went well this morning!

Despite the void left behind him down here on the ground, Ronald is now re-united with his younger brother Cedric in the afterlife, probably both having a good laugh with an infinite amount of ice cold brandy & coke!

Brothers Ronald & Cedric

Perfecting Perfection

Dear readers & fans...

Last week  I felt like burgers again, as so often I do, and as usual got a little more creative than the last masterpieces I constructed that would have any semi-respectable burger-munching Americans proud, and envious! This version was a next-generation upgrade from the last ones, a few posts down, using chicken livers as the prime topping.

And so it began with a trip to the local Pick & Pay for some basics on a tight budget, with the ever talkative Tamsyn in the trolley, babbling away about her day and her friends and what toys she's planning to play with when we get home; and of course stretching out her cheeky little hands in all directions trying to grab sweets and toys and colourful accessories and all other expensive goodies that she takes a fleeting fancy to. Liezel was at the time at the hospital round the corner to have a mole on her temple removed, which the doctor decided wasn't immediately necessary, so the lucky old mole gets to continue it's free ride on it's temple with a view of the world. Until the next time little miss Tammy has a pick or a scratch at it again.

With the ingredients for the mix I began the mission:
Made the patties with a pack of lean beef mince and a pack of lamb mince, a handfull of breadcrumbs, 2 eggs, rosemary, salt, pepper, some Ina Paarmans Sticky Marinade, and some olive oil. Lobbed it all in the Kenwood multi-chef blender thing and mixed it all up into a sticky, meaty goo.
The sauce was concocted with a tub of frozen livers and one and a half medium sized onions fried up with some olive oil and a generous squirt of Veri Peri sauce. Of course garlic was involved, 4 large cloves of, roughly chopped up. Added some salt & pepper and balsamic vinegar and poured over the burgers!
Slap on some nice thick slabs of cheese at the bottom, and the masterpiece is ready!

Each burger was such a large amount of food I was beyond stuffed after just one, so I had one for dinner, breakfast the next morning and lunch at work the next day (Liezel didn't want her second one), much to my colleagues gawking fascination! At least the inevitable reek of garlic wafting off out from my presonal space kept them at bay for a day or so.

I don't mind smelling like garlic, it's something I love so why be embarrassed! Like the Indians love curry, I suppose, except I do bath daily so the stench of sweaty body doesn't aggrevate the garlic fumes. There were few stinkier experiences than the Indians, Pakistani's, etc on the London Underground in summer ponging of old curry and unwashed bodies crowded up around you! Enough to make one puke!

LOL that was quite an ending to a food blog!

It's the weeeekend baaaaby!

Ja like that title is so Gareth Cliff corny! Not the most creative ever.

This blog has no particular topic, I just feel like writing something. So here it is: "something". Ok I know I need a klap for that one. Something even more funny is a comment I saw on some body's facebook status today. If you know what a "camel toe" is, you'll understand this. If you know not the derogatory meaning, don't ask, you're probably better off not knowing.

"Thought for the Day: Do you ever wonder if a camel looks at its toe and thinks; "Damn! I have vagina foot!""

I laughed so loud and suddenly when I read that my colleague nearly shat herself. She doesn't know what camel toe means, and being a respectable 50 something year old lady I didn't explain it.

Totally random, this is a photo I took on the garden table the other morning where the water had formed in triangular shapes on the flat surface, seemingly avoiding the criss cross pattern of the support seams underneath. The table is a flat surface, so this is bizarre.

I so much wish I could afford some decent camera equipment and a professional photography course. These damn courses are just so expensive, but maybe if my bank decides to give me a credit card I can stick a course on there and if there's any credit left invest in a decent lens and a speed-flash. Yes I'll be stuck with a shitload more debt that I can't really afford right now, but it will be for a good cause - funding my passion! And with some decent gear and some professional know-how I could possibly start making a bit of cash from my hobby. That would be awesome actually, like being a paid tourist! I'd quite enjoy doing family portraits and photo-shoots, schools, corporate functions, parties and gigs, even weddings!

But hey, nice to dream, because that's all it is at this stage. Racking up another credit card debt is simply not a good plan at this stage, there simply isn't enough money coming in to cover it. Maybe at the end of the year when I get my meagre Christmas bonus I'll look at the options again. Meantime those lotto tickets are slowly streaming through. Law of averages I got to strike a lucky win soon!

But that's enough whining, it wasn't the plan for this little chat!

Check this pic. Roasted vegetables I made last week. Was sooo delicious, and healthy for a change!

Oh yes... after all my bla bla bla about getting healthy again (says he while scoffing down the last mouthful of carrot cake) I am going to start gymming again! I've booked squash courts on 10 days over the next 2 weeks, starting tomorrow morning. Next week evenings are fully booked so I booked a Monday and Wednesday morning at 5am. I told my wife she seriously needs to help motivate me to get my large lazy ass out of bed to make those appointments. I probably won't make all bookings, I'm sure my wife will have other plans for me on some of those days, or I will likely have hangovers on either of the weekend days, but I WILL get to most of them. It's just such a mission getting slots on the squash courts in the evenings these days because that place is so busy the courts are booked out soon as they become available 2 weeks in advance. The gym has seriously over-subscribed it's memberships and it's actually quite kak gymming when it's crowded. But it's the way it is these days so I'll get into the routine and keep it up. Someday when I'm running my own business, and I'm my own boss, then I'll gym in the mornings in the week before work, much easier that way. At this stage mornings are just a bit too early for regular workouts!

I should probably get back to work, lunch is over! I end this blog with a picture of my gorgeous daughter:

Ribs, ribs & more ribs...

Yesterday at 2pm I was invited down to IAPO (International Academic Programmes Office) on UCT's Middle Campus to recieve my prizes for coming second AND third for this years UCT Africa Day photography competition. Yes that's right, second AND third place, after I won it last year. So of the 4 winning prizes this event has held since it's inception I have bagged 3! I think the deputy vice chancellor is getting a bit sick of shaking my hand and giving me money for being at the right place at the right time with my camera (which with me is everywhere all the time!). But anyway I gratefully accepted the two little envelopes of cash with a few customary cocky chirps on the way. People still find my corny humour funny so it's fine.

So last night I took my delightful little family out to dinner for a treat with my new-found wealth of R375. After much debate we ended up at Cattle Baron, a local steakhouse I've been slobbering at the thought of trying out for a while now. You see, I'm a proper carnivore, an intense lover of all things meaty, and their menu of steaks, etc looks absolutely delicious and I was positively excited at the thought of a few options such as the 400g garlic rump steak, just about chomping into my own tongue a few times on the way there in anticipation.

We get there, the place is fairly quiet, the atmosphere serene and serious, the staff overly professional (probably because we're plebs!), we take up residence at a nice table in the corner, and order a round of drinks.

At about this time my brat of a daughter discovers there's no play area for kids, something she's used to associating an excursion to the restaurant with because we usually frequent kak places like the Spur with complex play areas and jungle gym's. I'm seriously sick and bored of the Spur, so I insisted on this place.

Well did my high-pitched spawn of beelzebub embark on one of her epic tantrums because she doesn't want to be there because she can't play! The waiter quickly brought paper and crayons to diffuse the impending destruction to no avail. So we decided to scrap it and head home.

I was furious with Tammy for ruining a nice evening with her spoiled brat attitude and I was happy to go home and make sandwiches and save my hard won money for another day.

But no, mom decided she still wants to go out... to the effing Spur. I was even less impressed, because I was not keen on wasting my hard-won money on that crap food but it did not give a good impression on Tammy if she sees us giving in to her tantrum. I wanted to go home with her horrified that I was being serious because by now she wanted to go back to the restaurant just to not have to go home.

Well halfway home I reluctantly gave in to their demands (two strong-willed females versus me) and headed for the Spur at Big Bay with solemn promises from Tammy that she would behave.

It actually turned out to be quite a good decision because Tammy hit the play area immediately and had an absolute ball for hours playing on the massive jungle gyms and all the other fun stuff they have there, making new friends along the way.

Better yet they were having a special on spare ribs - for R70 eat as much as you like. I don't normally buy ribs at restaurants because they are so expensive, but last night I did and I ate like a pig. Ok that's a bad analogy, seeing as I was eating pig, or more like a couple of pigs! I had SIX portions of deliciously sticky BBQ spare ribs. By the time I threw in the towel with the last rib my throat was no longer allowing me to swallow any more, my stomach was stretched rock hard with the 3 or 4 kg of fatty pork meat within! I felt disgustingly satisfied but oh so uncomfortable!

I never want to see spare ribs ever again. Or at least not for another week or two.

Liezel had enchilado's, I still don't quite understand that concoction. Tammy ordered fish fingers, of which she ate none, though she did tuck into a rib which ended up all over her face!

The other positive is that I spent half the amount of money as what Cattle Baron would've cost, but I will still go to the 'Baron sometime for that garlic steak, this time leaving tammy with a babysitter.

Tamsyn Rose de Klerk, Miracle Baby - The Beginning

Tamsyn Rose de Klerk was born to Liezel and Justin de Klerk on the 6th October 2007 at St Georges Hospital in Tooting, London. She was delivered by emergency ceasarian section 11 weeks premature weighing 1.2kg. She left the hospital neonatal unit to come home with us on 29 November at 2 months old weighing only 1.9kg.

This is the heart-wrentching story of how Tammy came into this world, and the first few months of her life as the perfect little angel whom God gave us the ultimate honour of being truly blessed with. The apologue is narrated by me, Justin, her dad, and this is my account of the story.

Parents History:

Very Peri Chicken Livers & Cheese Burger

Yes you read that right! This evening I made burgers for dinner. Burger patties were just ordinary supermarket beef patties for a change, instead of my usual home-made masterpieces! Liezel's burgers just had boring old cheese & tomato.

My two burgers had chicken livers fried with onions, garlic, peri peri sauce and balsamic vinegar. And oh my glory it was close to the nicest burgers I've ever tasted. If they were made with my own famous patties they certainly would rate easily at the top!

Understandably it wouldn't be everybody's taste, especially the chicken livers part, but I like them if they're cooked properly and not bland and dry. But then again I'll vainly admit I have a more exciting and adventurous taste in food than most people! I'll eat just about anything, as long as it's dead and preferably cooked, and it's not been near a brinjil (eggplant).

Damn this PC is so slow today! I think the computers memory is getting virtual alzheimers, or amnesia, because it's not handling much! CPU is fine, rarely clocks over 25%. But I need another gig of memory!

So who's coming to my gig on Friday? In case you forgot, I'm the drummer for The Pits, and this Friday we're gigging at Club Voom Voom, 70 Loop Street, Cape Town. We'll be on at around 10pm. The gig is a 50's theme. We're a Psycho Rock & Roll kind of outfit, the band opening for us, The Ratrod Cats, is a proper Rockabilly band, and DJ Fred is jamming out tunes from the 50's era the rest of the night! It would really be awesome if some of my friends or family would turn up. So many people make farts in the wind every time about coming to one of my gigs and very few ever turn up. If ever people do want to see us live this would be a good one because we're playing at a theme night reminiscent of our songwriters influence in music and the backbone of what we do. So please, come along, and bring EVERYBODY!

Just watched the video of our last band practice. We are sounding great! On Friday lunch time I'm off to the music store Paul Bothners in Cavendish to invest in some new Vic Firth 7A drum sticks and some new skins, a fresh sound for Friday's gig.

Well I'm off to bed now, with a glass of Eno on the way to quench the heartburn furnace in my stomach.

Barefoot & Bushy-tailed

The title of todays blog describes my beloved daughter in her school class photo below. The rest of the group is neatly dressed and looking respectable, while my scruffy little tomboy parked in the middle of the front row like the leader of the brat-pack is barefoot, in shorts, sporting her usual "boskop" (bushy head), and looking ready to tackle her next mischevious mission. She's so used to having a camera shoved in her face flashing off thousands of snaps since she was so young the remains of the umbilical cord was still wet and not even dreaming of becoming a belly button yet, that she has become quite impatient of camera's. So much so I find it increasingly difficult to get a good shot of her anymore unless it's snuck in by surprise, and then she blinks or pulls faces half the time!

So, this photo below of a class of 21 three year olds all looking in the right direction, reasonably happy, eyes open, and properly composed, is sheer brilliant! Well done to the photographer, I'd love to know her tricks!

Lunch today was toast with peanut butter & syrup, and cream cheese (on seperate slices of course!) Before that at around 10am, usual mid morning snack time, or noodle-o'clock, I had noodles with a dollop of cream cheese. How delicious that was! Cream cheese was leftover from last week's waffles, but it's finished now.

Dinner tonight will be something with mince, that's all that's left in the freezer to cook. That and the 4 remaining tubs of part-eaten ice cream. I did a clear-out of the freezer on the weekend, there was very little food but there was 6 tubs of ice cream, some of which looked about as old as the fridge!

Last night I managed to fix my useless computer at home. Turns out it was the graphics card, an ATI Radeon 512Mb monster (or it was a monster a few years back, it's small by today's standards). I unplugged and re-connected all kinds of peripherals inside the box, including memory, hard drives, cards, etc, one by one, process of elimination. Then I unplugged the monitor cable and plugged it into the onboard graphics as part of the motherboard, and it came to life! But the picture quality was terrible. In the meantime I took out the ATI card, cleaned it, cleaned the points, shook it around a bit, and just before I stomped on the damn thing in anger at the money it would cost to replace, I tried plugging it in again and hooking the monitor back up to it - and it worked again! Imagine my sheer delight!

But now I think one of the DDR memory cards is not in properly because the machine is very slow. Will check that tonight!

Damn computers! We can't live without them, but sometimes they annoy the crap out of us! (Sounds a bit like women!) ...runs, ducks and hides!

Chicken a-la-Kingdingaling

Lunch today was delicious, and it was leftovers from last night when it was fresh and even better! Unfortunately I don't have any photo's of the dish, it was pretty much a chicken ala king made with a pack of whole chicken drumsticks, potatoes cut into smallish pieces, onions, red & yellow peppers, mushrooms, mixed herbs, salt & pepper, a tablespoon full of garlic paste, and milk. Served with macaroni pasta. Really a basic meal, nothing special or spectacular, except for the love that it was made with made it taste great! Even Tammy ate some, and she is a proper mission to get any supper into these days.

I actually don't know what to do about it, maybe I'm not as good a dad as I thought I was because she's got a discipline issue lately, and she simply refuses to eat what we give her. I usually have to bribe her with some delicious treat like ice-cream just to get a few mouthfuls of the cooked dinner into her spoiled-brat gob. If there's vegetables involved there is no amount of bribing that will get her to eat it, with the result that we end up having a fight because I get seriously angry and frustrated at her resistance and defiance of my authority, usually ending in her crying.

Any advice from some experienced parents out there would be much appreciated! I usually don't have much trouble with disciplining Tammy, I have my ways of getting results and actions from her more than anybody else, her mom and teachers included, but the eating thing is really bothering me. Not that she goes hungry, she'll often have 2 minute noodles, or a vienna sausage, or a peanut butter sandwich; and of course a couple of bottles of milk (which is another bad habit I need to break her out of soon, preferably before she starts high school!) But she doesn't eat the dinners I cook no mater how tasty, attractive and child friendly I try to make it! Shit I made bangers and mash the other day, with cauliflower blended invisibly into the mash. She wouldn't touch the mash, and bitched that the sausage was spicy! IT WASN'T!!!.

Please give me some pointers.

Shame, this morning at about 4am she asked for a drink so I made her a bottle of Oros juice, by 6am when I came to wake her she had wet the bed, which she hasn't done in ages. Poor thing was horribly upset with herself.

Anyway, mom is home today, sick with the flu, so hopefully she's sorted the bed out because I didn't have time this morning having had to do everything getting myself and Tammy ready to go. We left a few minutes late, then I got stuck in a very long traffic jam because our stupid fucking traffic cops decided to put up a roadblock on a very busy route! Idiots made me nearly an hour late, but my colleague was late too so I didn't get the usual snotty comments.

Well, back to work, lunch break is over.

Lazy Saturday part 2

Ok I have found flaw on the iPad... It's impossible to scroll through a text input box like the one I have to type in for this blog entry. The text I'm typing passed the end of the box, I moved to an earlier spot to make an amendment, then couldn't get back to the end of the text. Seriously annoying!

Anyway, at the end of the previous entry (Lazy Saturday) I was talking about Tammy developing an understanding of the boundaries of going into the water based on the dangers of being in water without being able to stay afloat. She is such a clever kid.

I absolutely adore my child, she is just the sweetest most lovable and adorable little girl, and she adores her daddy!

So tomorrow is fathers day, I wonder if my family will remember. Tomorrow is also the first band practice in about a month, haven't seen the band since the last gig. We have another gig confirmed for this coming Friday the 24th at Voom Voom club in Loop street, its a 1950's theme party, I'm looking forward to that.

On thursday my wife Liezel cooked up a roast chicken. Last night I caught her eating leftovers, chicken, potato and veg, alongside two slices of toast with syrup on the same plate! As you can see by the photo. I really married a strange one!
Shit, just discovered another restriction on this iPad, it's not possible to upload photos to this blog from the pictures on this gadget. I think this is the last time I blog from the iPad, this has not really been much fun, as you can probably tell by the noticeable lack of humor. Tomorrow I'll see if I can get some life into my PC and try again from there.

Lazy Saturday

A the moment I am parked on the couch in the lounge comfortably under a warm blanket, typing this on my iPad because my computer is still fucked and I don't know how to fix the piece of crap. So this will not be my longest ever blog because it's quite cumbersome tapping away with 2 fingers on this oversensitive little screen, that and I'm watching the Stormers rugby game at the same time. I do love this little iPad, it's an amazing piece of technology and I'm really grateful to have won it, especially since my PC is cocking up on me, it's a window to the world via my wireless Internet. That said, I do miss the versatility of the PC.

16 - 6 to the Stormers so far.

So today was yet another waste of a day because of a hangover, as is all too often the case on Saturday's in my life lately. I really do wish I could stop doing this to myself, I tend to be useless and short tempered on hangover Saturday's, and I don't like myself like this. Of course I have known for a long time now that I have a drinking problem, and when I'm sober I can see that the alcohol is in control of me, and my life, and I know its destructive in many ways.

So how the he'll do I stop?

I do want to quit the binge drinking, have done for a long time now, I just don't know how because it's an addiction which has a firm grip on my willpower. That cheap 3 Scotsmen whiskey at Midmar Liquors has an attraction I can't resist.

Apart from the health, social and family damage the drinking does to me, it's actually an expense I'm embarrassed to be burdening my already very tight financial resources with.

Basically, I dunno what to do but I know I've got to do something before this disgusting poison does irreparable damage in some way or another that I will seriously regret.

But enough about that!

Dinner tonight was a simple pile of toasted tuna mayo sandwiches, the tuna mayo mixed with garlic, fresh tomato, feta cheese, salt, pepper and mild chili sauce. Quick and easy and went down a treat. Being the lazy slob I have been today the dishes have not been washed, the kitchen is a mess, but I promise to clean it in the morning when my mojo returns after a good nights sleep.

The one thing I did do today was take the Tammy to her Saturday swimming lesson. She is getting better very quickly, Im sure she will be swimming on her own any day now, if she can just get over getting freaked out by water in her eyes so she can take those silly goggles off. She loves the pool and she looks forward to lessons excitedly all week, and today the swimming teacher pointed out that Tammy is learning the boundaries of going in the water based

Waffles and stuff...

Did anybody check the lunar eclipse on Wednesday night? I did. Well sort of, I was well into a bottle of whiskey by the time I realised it was happening, first time I've seen something like that and it was pretty cool! I tried taking photo's most of which were quite blurry, despite using a tripod. I then filmed it for a while, which was a slightly better picture, though in my state it was rather all over the place. The camera can be very sensitive when zoomed in that close, and more so when the camera man is ridiculously clumsy! The picture shown here is the best I got!

I kinda caught it as the shadow of the earth was already moving off the moon, quite a surreal sight to behold! Fortunately I had a clear sky too, Cape Town was cloudy and miserable the rest of the day and soon after old cheese-face cleared the clouds rolled back in again and continued throwing copious volumes of rain on us. The rain lately in CT has been awesome actually! I really do love the rain, the heavier the better, and throw in the odd violent electric storm with booming thunder and massive erratic cracks of lightning then I'm happy. I love big storms, a proper electric storm is awesome. The only time I didn't enjoy an electric storm was a few years back in London, when a huge bolt of lightning struck the communal TV aerial above the flat next door so hard that their roof caved in, and half of my electrical appliances were fried, including my microwave, PC (which Dell repaired as it was under warranty!) and a few smaller things. Fortunately my TV was OK, it had it's own set of bunny-ears on top of the set. The rest of the block of flats who were hooked up to the communal aerial had their TVs fried and blown to shit irreparably. The guy downstairs had just purchased a big flat screen the week before, I heard him crying himself to sleep for weeks afterwards! Anyway, after that I invested in surge-protector plugs!

I do miss the big storms up north of SA in the bushveld during summer! We had a few up in Botswana over Christmas last year! It's awesome how they suddenly appear in the sweltering heat of the afternoon, drop massive amounts of water on the world with a big noisy fuss, then disappear just as quickly leaving the world refreshed and alive, albeit uncomfortably muggy from the humidity of the evaporating rain!

Man I love Botswana, I've been there twice recently. It's the most awesome place! I am seriously in love with the African bush, the wilder the better. My soul is out there somewhere at one with wild Africa, you won't see me more content in my element than when I'm in the bush. Even just staying around Gaborone last year I was constantly disappearing for hours on end on foot into the bush with binoculars and my camera. The birdlife is just incredible!Yes I am still a bird nerd, when a good birdwatching opportunity presents itself!

My waffle with butter, cream cheese, cheese & syrup!

The ladies having a waffle feast!

So anyway, today was once again my turn to supply munchies for our weekly Friday office tea. Being my usual attention-seeking over the top extravaganza I decided against the norm of getting the usual selection of sweets, cakes and savouries from the local supermarket - I rocked up with a waffle iron, waffle dough which I made at home last night, and delicious composition of waffle toppings, ie. ice-cream, butter, syrup, caramel sauce, chocolate chips, peanut butter, cream cheese, grated cheddar cheese, etc. The cheeses were by far the most popular, surprisingly as this crowd of gannets normally gobble up the sweet stuff in copious volumes while the savouries are never finished. My colleagues usually look forward to my Friday tea parties long before Friday because I really do put on the best spread every time, as you may have seen from some of my previous blogs, but this time I outdid myself, I'll vainly admit, they all loved my waffles and stuffed themselves to the brim! Whereas some people in the group, one individual in particular, is the first to be at the tea table stuffing their gob, has the most to say about everything especially what they don't like to eat, yet is the one who supplies the most boring meagre stuff, usually some sort of bread based things like a croissant each, that's it! Anyway, it's not a competition, not openly anyway, because if it were I'd be the winner every time! Nobody packs lunch on the days it's my turn to do tea! Bwaaaa ha ha ha ha ha... {evil laugh!}

Chef at work, in the office!

Yesterday was that pubic holiday here in SA, Youth Day (see my previous blog to see what I think of Youth Day). Of course Julius Poes-face Malema had plenty of his usual racist bullshit to spew forth to his multitudes of idiotic brainwashed just-as-racist followers, again blabbing on about nationalising the mines and confiscating land from the whites with no compensation, etc. Funny thing that happened, Orlando staium packed out to the rafters with thousands of blacks waiting eagerly for president Zuma to pitch up and give a much anticipated talk. By the time he finally arrived 3 hours late most people had already gone home! Brilliant! Again the people see just how much their government really cares about them, and yet they will still vote blindly for these corrupt idiots in every election! All in the name of the "struggle"! But let them be, you get what you vote for! Fortunately we still have the DA in Cape Town, the difference to the way the rest of the ANC led 3rd world country is run is greatly visible.

But honestly I gave little thought to the meaning of the holiday, I enjoyed a relaxing day at home with my family, and got some much needed chores done, like fix the upstairs security gate lock, replaced the back door lock, fit a new outside light in the back yard, fixed the front gate lock, propped up the jacuzzi cover, cleaned up and re-built my dying PC, cut my hair and beard, and hacked of my toenails which were becoming a serious health hazard to anything my talons got near, including myself!

Well I need to get back to work for the last 2 hours of this staggered week. Then it's the weeeeeeeeeeekend baaaaaby!!!!

Another canned lunch

Lunch today was a tin of Heinz chicken, a little tuna can sized tin of shredded chicken breast, this one in a sweet chili sauce. Predictably I loaded it on toast (the last of that 2 week old loaf which supported yesterdays spaghetti bolog-dogfood) with a smear of mayo. Honestly, these little Heinz chicken things are really tasty. A little on the expensive side at around R12 a tin, compared to R8 average for tuna. The other one I like is a lemon mayo flavoured job. The sweet chili one is a tad on the oily side, and loaded with the mayo I know I've cursed myself to an excruciating bout of stomach-disintegrating indigestion in about an hours time, the usual punishment for the crap I put in my system sometimes!

But far more interesting than that was my dinner last night - pork chops crumbed with lemon juice, garlic and a mix of herbs & spices, served on a bed of fresh fluffy mash with a garlicky pepper sauce, and brussel sprouts steamed and lightly fried in olive oil and brown sugar. Liezel's chop was un-crumbed. She doesn't like crumbed chops forever, just because I overcooked them into pork rocks once upon a time! Well I enjoyed last night's meal to bursting point. I had two big juicy chops with a nice thick crispy cooked strip of fat on one, swimming in sauce. I very guiltily do so enjoy a good bit of pork fat now and then {runs ducks & hides from the incoming "heart-attack" lectures)

Unfortunately I didn't bother photographing either, so this article is a bit colourless! Use your imagination!

So... tomorrow is yet another public holiday in this country. Youth day apparently (like who cares, it's a day off work!). Apparently youth day commemorates the death of a few black youngsters killed in a riot by some racist Afrikaaners way back in 1976, the year I was born, and I'm 35 years very old. That's a long fucken time ago, and apartheid ended 17 years ago! GET OVER YOURSELVES ANC & YOUR BRAINWASHED COMRADES!!! These okes are still constantly harping on the past, creating hell for all of us through persistent racial segregation and violent racially motivated crime! Thousands of whites have been deliberately brutally murdered of forced out of SA since then in the name of the "struggle" and racial hatred but we have to just shut up and take it and get back to work so we can pay taxes to support the 90% sector of the population who don't pay tax, who are too stupid, useless or lazy to get off their butts and learn something so they can fend for themselves and make their own living! And of course fund our useless corrupt BLACK government in all their dishonest and luxurious lifestyles!

What gets me even more is the fact that Ascension day, a long time traditional Christian holiday in this country and the world over, was excluded by the black government! Surely that has more meaning than one particular riot gone bad in a long unpleasant history of many unpleasant events in this country!

I'm sorry, but I feel fuckall for the meaning of tomorrows public holiday, but I'm sure as hell going to enjoy it!

BTW, I'm not essentially a racist, I am just sick and tired on the attitude of the majority of the people of this country, particularly the aggressive and open racism by the blacks in SA, fuelled unnecessarily by complete morons like Julius Malema, against white people who are not otherwise concerned with racism as much as getting on and making the best of life with their families and enjoying their self-made successes! If the poorer and older blacks got over the heavy old (blame apartheid and all whites for all our problems) chips on their shoulders we'd all get on a shit load better!

That was a good rant! Have a good Youth Day tomorrow South Africa!

Fathers Day Morning Ring

This morning yours truly attended the Fathers Day Morning Ring at Tammy's school, a once-a-year event where us dads come to school and watch the kids in action in class for the first half hour of the day until 08h30. (Yes the mom's also had their turn when it was Mothers day.)

Just started and already she's looking for dadddy

The whole thing was very sweet, nice to see the kids in their environment, albeit unnatural for them as their big burly old dads were milling around clumsily like giants in a dwarf sanctuary. Everything is midget size in there, the little classroom chair I sat on surprisingly didn't collapse into a mangled heap under my hefty arse!

Before class officially started the kids were excitedly showing the dads what they can do with all their puzzles and activities, all neatly laid out on the foot high tables by teacher Judy and aunty Gloria. Tammy was no exception, I had to make a geostack puzzle with her, draw faces and stuff, and help her arrange the furniture in one corner of the room into a kind of kraal to keep us safe from monsters.

Tammy like the town Princess parked in the middle

Then teacher called the kids all into a big circle on the mat where they basically sang songs about bible stories and animals and other kids tunes for about half an hour. The kids all took their places and participated excitedly in the animated sing songs, cheerfully showing off for their proud daddies... all except one... my Tamsyn!!!

My adorable daughter simply did not conform to the norm and do what the other kids did! She kept ducking the teaching assistant Gloria to get to me to give me a hug, she barely sang along, and did the opposite movements to the rest of the class. She parked herself in the middle of the circle like the star of the show, like it is her rightful place to be, then went and ploncked herself on the teachers lap and promptly re-arranged teachers notes and class register. In her own way she was a little chaos! All the while the rest of the class carried on uninterrupted!

Off she goes, dodging aunty Gloria again

But the teachers were not at all bothered, apparently it's her normal free-spirited behaviour! They are used to it, and if it is a problem they certainly didn't give it away!

I think it's great that she is independant, does her own thing in her own way, but I didn't realise she was quite this persistent in going against the flow, and I'm a bit concerned about her behaviour to be quite honest!

I love my child and every thing about her, there is no more awesome kid who ever lived and I'm honoured to be the luckiest dad in the world. But I fear she may become a bit of a handful as she grows up if she continues to do her own thing with no regard to playing as a team or following expected protocols!

Re-arranging teacher Judy's paperwork.

One thing I'm sure of is she is going to grow up into a proud, intelligent, confident, free-thinker, and she is going to be a great success in life, she will be a leader and the best at whatever she does! As long as we can keep her in check in the meantime, once we figure out how to do that!

I'm so proud of my beautiful girl, my heart swells to bursting point with love and the happiness she brings into my otherwise monotonous life!

Delicious spaghetti bolognaise in a can, true story!

You guessed it, lunch today was a cheap R8 can of Koo spaghetti bolognaise, and it was surprisingly enjoyable, it actually had quite a nice flavour! Yes I know it doesn't contain real meat, rather some soya mutation, and it's full of artificial preservatives, anti-oxidants, colourants, and other life-threatening man made chemicals that are probably dissolving whats left of my pickled guts as I write this. You need to understand that I'm on a tight budget lately and I need to keep lunch-at-work costs down, so I buy this crap every now and then, and this crap actually tasted quite nice, on a bed of 2 week old toast (it's fine, it's been in the fridge) with a dollop of mayo on top! Usually these meals in a tin are quite gross, even for me, and believe me I'm quite brave when it comes to food, I'm not a squeamish pussy like the rest of you, I'll eat just about anything and in pretty impressive portion sizes too, in fact the bigger the better! Except brinjal (or eggplant, or whatever you call that revolting troll turd, I don't care, I won't touch it).

Anyway, my belly is full and I'm uncomfortably stuffed like a Christmas turkey!

But now comes the part where I start feeling guilty about my weight and my health, because since I last composed a decent blog I have admittedly gotten lazy and unhealthy and embarrassingly a few kilo's heavier! Which is sad really since last year and for a couple of weeks a few months ago I was doing so well with the health drive! I think my gym has forgotten I exist, I think I've forgotten where the gym is!

"But hey, keep scoffing down cheap cans of poisonous artificial food substitutes and see where that gets you, you fat lazy, scruffy, unshaven bag of pickled lard; shameful embarrassment to the gloriously handsome specimen you once were!" says my conscience, the red one with the pitchfork on my left shoulder that talkssss in parsssseltongue. The other one on my right shoulder, the sweet sexy one with the halo and wings disappeared a while ago, I think I sat on her one drunken Friday night!

Moral of the story... once again in my confused existence I think it's time to:

1. Start eating healthier again: smaller portions, more rabbit food, less carrion, and a good balance!
2. Hit the gym again, especially squash, if I can just avoid crashing through the floor boards!
3. Try cut back on the drinking sessions! I still have the problem that once I start my mission is to get plastered (as some of you who're on Facebook on Friday nights will know!), but if I can just cut back the frequency of those sessions will be a good start!
4. Smoke less! I'd actually love to quit outright, I just don't have the willpower or backing for it right now! But, drinking less will mean smoking less. If, and it's a big if - the time comes that I actually manage to give up the bottle, I know that giving up smoking will be easy! Hopefully that will happen, I know I'll be happier for it!
5. Get some vitamin supplements.
6. Get out into nature more, like hiking! That would be great fun actually, I get excited at the thought. Problem is I'm normally too hungover on weekends to consider it!
7. Most importantly - have more sex! It would be nice if my wife could ablige this one, it would be to her own benefit too!

So you see, I'm setting myself quite the challenge here which, while it's quite easy banging out the words on the keyboard with fuzzy imaginations of how it could be to be fit, healthy and reasonably attractive again, with my lack of willpower in this dull monotonous existence I've railroaded myself into it's not going to be easy motivating my sorry (and rather large) ass into motion to veer off these downward spiralling tracks of self destruction and back up towards a more comfortable life and potentially a prolonged existence! Problem is getting this all kick started, and sticking to it!

Well, it works in theory.!

What I need is motivation, if you're reading this... any support will be much appreciated! Maybe there are clubs or groups or places out there for people like me! (Just don't anybody fucking suggest AA, that's a load of fake bullshit and I'll swear at you!)

All this from a can of dog-food-like spaghetti bolognaise that tasted slightly better than stale shit for a change!

I had loads of other more interesting stuff to talk about and here I'm feeling all useless and sorry for myself again! How embarassing! Realistically, the list above is not going to just happen, much as I'd really love it to, it's just not because those things (eating, smoking, drinking) are pleasures in my life these days; besides my wife and child everything else is truly just a monotonous drag, the lack of money to do anything enjoyable besides drink is like a soundproof cage!! Maybe I'll try one point at a time, but certainly not all at once! Except the sex, that's just got to happen more often, that's task no. 1, and it's free, sometimes (depending on how much shit I'm in!)

The next blog will be more up-tempo and happy, and it will be soon! Promise!

Remember me...

I think it's about time to get back into writing my blog again, I've been quite lazy for a while, sorry folks! But right now I'm at work and about to get shat on for doing this while I should be working on space plans. So You'll have to wait until a bit later for a juicy story, probably involving some food again!

Later...

The Real Gourmet Burger

This is actually a bit late, I made these burgers last week, only now getting round to blogging about them, and only to make use of the photo's I took the effort to take.

The fact is my home-made burgers are the best burgers that anybody who has tried them has tasted. All these fancy "gourmet burger" places, some of which I've tried, and nice as they may be, thay can kiss my backside because my burgers surpass greatness, they are like erotic extasy in one's mouth!

Basically, my secret is in the patty itself. Each time I make them the ingredients vary slightly, with a few staples, but this particular batch came our almost perfectly with little loss on content from juices cooking out!

Here goes, my Blue-cheese, Beetroot & Parmesan burgers:

• The patty: Each patty weights around 250 to 300 grams each when they go in the pan. Usually I use a mix of ostrich & beef mince but this time I used normal (not lean) ground beef. Firstly I cut up a whole medium onion, lop it in the food processor with an egg, a hearty teaspoon of garlic paste, splash of balsamic vinegar, about a quarter cup of Jimmy's marinade, a dash of dried mixed herbs. Hit the On button briefly to mix it all up and cut the onion up even finer. Then throw in about a kilo of mince and blend it up until it's all mixed up into quite a fine fairly thick viscous mush. Seperate into 4 big mushy balls and plop into the pan, spread the patties out in the pan with your fingers to an even thickness. Cook thoroughly so the innner meat, onion & garlic is cooked through.
• Butter up some fresh Portuguese rolls.
• Lay a single layer of thickly cut beetroot on the lower half of the roll, sprinkle a small dash of parmesan on the beetroot.
• Park the dlelicious sizzling well cooked patty on top of the beetrook.
• Slice off a pile of creamy blue sheese and lay onto the hot patty so it melts onto the meat. 
• Sprinkle a load more crumbed parmesan onto the blue cheese, spread it evenly.
• Pour a dollop of Mrs Balls Original chutney onto the cheese. The chutney balances out the bitterness of the blue cheese, it works like a dream!
• Close the burgers and serve!

Enjoy!

2 weeks ago I made similar burgers with cheddar cheese and fresh avo, also delicious!

Gross!!!

That would be my lunch today - gross! I found a tin of spaghetti & viennas in tomato sauce in my desk drawer. After a long morning on my feet surveying one of the bigger buildings on Medical Campus I'd worked up quite a hunger so it seemed more appetising than peanut butter on toast! Picture this: the contents of the abovementioned tin, a big red pile of schlop with shriveled looking dark brown sausages that looked like a couple of dried thumbs sticking out the spaghetti, on a bed of toast with cheese slices, topped with a generous dollop of mayo and splattered with Nando's chilli sauce!

It was edible, and I ate it all like a ravenous hyena that's not eaten since the last dodo died out, but it didn't taste too good! But beggars can't be choosers, and at this stage of my fanancial month (3 days from payday) I'm close to begging!

This morning I surveyed the Werner & Beit North block, not the most interesting survey, I didn't see any bizarre labs or human body parts.

Yesterday's session at the gym was the first in quite a few weeks (probably closer to 2 months!) and I can really feel it today; that stiff sore muscle feeling after the usual first time at the gym after a long absence. As usual my manboobs feel the most sore, though admittedly it's quite a satisfactory ache, it's the sign of muscles growing after a hard workout!

I think maybe this evening I'll go again, if not then difinitely tomorrow. Hopefully there'll be a squash court free too.

The last few weeks I've bought quite a few tickets in the Lotto and Powerball, and I've won twice in the last week - a grand total of R21,50! Whoopee-fucking-hooo! But I'll keep playing in the hope of getting lucky someday, hopefully soon.

I still haven't started that big assignment that needs to be submitted in less that 2 weeks. Maybe tonight will be a good time to start. I was quite excited about this course, it's just hard work motivating myself to do the studying after so many years since I attempted to study anything, especially with 2 demanding girls at home! The course is about entrepreneurship, because I would really like to start my own business in the near future. It just seems like such a daunting task, I'm not quite sure exactly what business I'd like to embark on, and more importantly I don't know where the funding will come from. Being a white South African I've got very little chance of help from the government and I'm not sure a bank will help me or how ridiculously expensive their interest rates will be!

I've got some ideas, predominantly photography and I'd really love to run my own restaurant and bar. The restaurant will need a ridiculous amount of money to start up though it's a business I will be good at; the photography less expensive to start as a photographer though I'll need money for decent equipment, a studio facility, and the time and money to get a professional qualification. It's also a very difficult market to crack, highly competitive! Ideally I would like to run a photography shop selling photo equipment and developing and printing images with a studio on site. It will be expensive and high risk business, but I reckon it could work and it's something I enjoy - photography. Another idea I have is a rehearsal and pre-recording studio, though that will be more of a sideline thing because the income won't be very hight.

See the problem I have is a lot of ideas and what-ifs, but I can't even make it to the end of every month on my curent salary so where the hell will the capital to start a business come from! If and when it happens I will make a damn success of it because I don't want to struggle forever and I don't want to just be another employee doing a menial job working for somebody else and taking shit over the most ridiculous issues because people in position are on power trips (prime example this very second I got crapped on because I'm writing this blog when lunch finished 2 minutes ago!)

So this business thing's gotta work, but the end of the tunnell is so far away I can't even see the light! It's so frustrating!

That's why I'm doing the course, to give me some basic idea of how to start up and run a small business. Hopefully after the course, which ends with an exam in May, the proverbial light will be visible down that very long tunnell!

If you're reading this and have any suggestions or ideas I'm all ears!

Meantime, I better get on with my job! I feel like I'm permanently treading on thin ice to make sure I don't piss people off because I can't afford to not have this job, I won't get another one like it because I don't have any qualifications and this job is not going anwhere other than where it is now! And I detest having to suck up, it makes me hate people and it makes me angry which is not good for the old ticker!

Muscles & Mussels

The title gives a hint to a tasty morsel of the events of my day, this day being Monday, a rare Monday of chillaxing! Thanks to South African history for a pubic holiday on a great summers day! I do appreciate the reason for this Human Rights Day, based on historical events. I don't fully agree on current political reasoning's for recurringly fucking our economy on past events, but, well....

Further from my earlier blog of how the day started at 3am with a very happy cheerful Tammy, the little terrorist has not stopped going like the energiser bunny on E all friggin day long! She really is the sweetest kid on the planet, she has the most beautiful personality of any 3 year old I've ever had the fortune of meeting, but she's also the busiest!

I was on the phone to my mom chatting about all kinds of stuff, including the events and people at Saturday nights party, when Tammy's other granny, Liezel's mom (Ma) turned up unexpected.

Saturday night's party, the reason for the party being a combined party for my uncle Luigi (his 60th), and his oldest son Luigi (his 40th) being a unique father and son century (100 years combined) birthday party was a brilliant event at a stunning venue near Stellenbosch!

As for the 'muscles' part, Liezel & I went to the gym today for the first time in around a month! We both had a nice enough workout. I really didn't enjoy my game of squash because I'm unfit and out of practice, but I enjoyed the workout upstairs in the weights circuit. Liezel, however, worked up the biggest sweat I've ever seen on her. I was well proud!

Regarding the 'mussels'  my lovely mother-in-law pitched up with a bag of black mussels she had hand picked in the morning on the rocks at low-ish tide off the beach not far from where we live. Something I've never done, though she's clearly a pro of sorts!

Mussels and other creepy crawlies from the sea are not normally my fancy, and they looked gross in the pot after boiling, the ones that opened anyway. But when she grilled them with garlic butter and cheese they were quite irresistible! Seafood always looks good, it just doesn't do it for me besides fish, I'm just not a fan, and calamari makes me feel ill for some reason (the only food other than brinjil that grosses me out makes me want to hurl) but I tried one... a freshly picked mussel baked in garlic butter & cheese, and I loved it!!!

So I had 6! And I really enjoyed them! Genuinely!

Thanks Ma, brilliant!

But not quite a meal for me and my hungry wife and child, so I made boerewors rolls for all!

As I'm type this my sweet Tammy has crawled on my lap because she wants to sleep on her dad which she's promptly done. We had such fun playing soccer and cars and stuff this evening. She is a warm loving gorgeous joyful kid, the most awesome angel heaven has ever let loose in this world! So excuse me while I go put my princess to bed!

Home-made pizza - with extra cholesterol!

Howdy folks, I'm back after an absence of a few weeks, for no real reason other than laziness! If you had to see me now compared to 2 months ago you'll understand why - I've put on a haft ton of weight again. A fact which I have now realised after seeing photo's of myself at a party on Saturday night, it looks like I've been inflated to a near perfect sphere! Well from today I'm gonna do something about it, again, starting with another phase of regular gymming, less booze, and less fattening food. Though that doesn't include last night's dinner:

Before the avo.

Pizza! Glorious home-made 2-inch thick pizza loaded with grease. It was truly the most delicious pizza I've ever tasted, I'll say so myself, it was oozing with a technicolour of flavours, crispy on the outside and thick and juicy in the middle. My wife is already begging for more this morning after she had her last piece for breakfast!

With avo.

The recipe:

• Take 2 standard frozen supermarket brand pizza bases with tomato.
• Spread a generous layer of cheddar cheese, ensure the whole base is evenly covered right to the edge. Pat it down (this is necessary so the upper layers down fall off!
• Finely chop half a large onion (That Twista gadget works well, quick & noisy) and mix with half a yellow pepper, also chopped up into fairly small pieces. Spread evenly over the pizza. 
• Sprinkle some salt, pepper & oregano.
• Grate up a handfull of mild cheddar for each pizza and spread so it's a fairly thin layer of cheese over the onion & pepper.
• Sprinkle parmesan cheese liberally over the mild cheddar. Pat it all down gently.
• Slice some mushrooms and cover the pizza pretty much completely.
• Use a pack of bacon bits and spread loads over the top.
• I was going to use feta cheese too but there was already too much, it would have just fallen off the side.
• Load into a pre-heated oven and cook until it looks cooked, for me they took around half an hour in a fully heated oven. I put the pizza's on a foil base and folded the sides up around the edge of the pizza to keep the melting cheese on top of the pizza.
• Once out the oven slice up half a large avo per pizza, remove from the foil, and serve once it's cooled down sufficiently that the toppings are no longer trying to flow off the edge like volcanic lava.

The trick is to make more than you can eat in a meal so you have some for breakfast! Like any pizza it's even better the next day!

Tammy didn't have any last night because she was sleeping. The lazy bugger fell asleep in the car on the way home from the beach at around 3pm and she didn't wake up for the rest of the day. I was a little concerned because she had a bit of a cough and she'd slept in the bed with her sick granny the night before so I thought she was coming down with something so we left her to sleep. But then at 3am this morning she woke up wide eyed and bushy tailed ready to play, and talk! OMG did she talk this morning, from 3am, it's now 10.30 and she still hasn't stopped! I tried hard to sleep through it, even moving between beds and the couch, she just followed me diligently. If I turned the other way she promptly climbed over me to face me and carry on chatting. I got a foot in my face a few times in the process. All the while leaving her mom in peace, which I'd have also done the way she barked at Tammy for climbing on her. Occasionally she'd find a toy to chat to when I wasn't responding and I'd be left to doze off for a while longer until she came to tell me her new story.

But shame, the little angel was very cute and cheerful. Sleepy as I was (having been up watching movies until late) I didn't mind her too much, eventually I gave in at around 8am and took her down for breakfast, which was pizza, which she gobbled up then wanted Oatees cereal. Not surprising seeing as the poor kid hadn't eaten since about midday yesterday!

Anyway, today is Monday, and we are all enjoying a lazy day at home, being a much needed public holiday! After this I've got a few other things to do on the PC, then I need to mow the lawn and clean up the yard, clean the house, vacuum the floors, and have a go at the mountain of clean washing that has been dumped on the spare couch over the last 2 weeks. I can't afford the maid until next week (pay day).

And of course I'll spend some time with Tammy before tackling my next assignment for my Unisa course!

Oh yes, the gym needs to be squeezed in sometime too!

There's no cricket today, for a change. I've been following the cricket world cup religiously, even been watching it over the internet in the office during the week. It's weird not having cricket to watch, but the quarter finals starting Wednesday are going to be crackers!

The best burger in town!

Of all the nice enough dishes I make many say my burgers are the best they have ever tasted! Many being my wife, and a few family members. But I believe them! The garlic burping out my nose uninhibitedly right now is proof!

Ants

I really believe that God has a cruel sense of humour towards us humans sometimes, I know this because he gave us ants and flies. And many feel the same about mosquitoes too, though I'm not bothered by mozzies because they don't bother me. Everybody around me gets bitten by mozzies, when we went to the Okavango swamps in 2009 the other guys nearly got carried off into the bush and eaten alive by the mozzies, but they didn't come near me. I wonder why with mild amusement.

On the other hand ants and flies piss me off to no end, though lately more ants than flies. They are just everywhere these days, they get in everything resulting in a lot of good food having to be thrown away and wasted, and that seriously pisses on my battery because I can hardly afford to feed myself, I certainly can't afford to feed the local fucken parasitic wildlife!

Last night I found them in the pantry cupboard, they found the syrup. One bottle I managed to rescue and rinse off, the little fuckers hadn't got into the bottle, but the other one they got in and many were drowned in the syrup.

Last week they found Tammy's sweets and lollipops, had to chuck a load of that too.

Like everything possibly attractive to ants has to stay in the fridge, which is chockablock fulla stuff that doesn't need to be in there! It's really annoying!

Last Friday we had a braai with the outlaws. I purposely made a shitload of spare ribs because the leftovers are just delicious the next day, especially with a hangover. So I left the food in the oven overnight, like we often do after a braai and it's normally clean and safe to eat the next day. Saturday morning I got up and had a few ribs... delicious!!! Saturday afternoon I opened the oven and the food was swarming with thousnads of the little black fuckers like some kind of demonic disease! I wanted to cry! At that point I lost all respect for ants as "God's creatures" and have since murdered ants mercilessly wherever I come across them. I've poisoned their nests and gassed them with insect spray that I've been through bottles of the stuff! I have proudly exterminated literally millions of them and I feel good about it! That'll teach the bastards to fuck with my food, and y'all know how I love my food!

Anyway, I had to dump the whole lot of food in the outside bin, which broke my heart. At least I got some joy in turning the bin into a gas chamber to murder the thousands of ants on my beloved food. But by this morning my bin naturally stank like any week old carcass rotting in the hot summer sun would smell - it was rank when I opened it! Fortunately it's council bin day today!

I actually look forward to winter when most of the annoying bugs of summer seem to disappear. I wish they all died!

I realise they have their place in nature, which is fine, as long as they stay out in nature and mind their own business. But come onto my property and they will not be tolerated, they will be mass murdered!

Same goes for flies! I'd love to catch them all, cut off their wings (rendering them as 'walks') and feed them to the ants before annihilating the ants entire colonies!

Since last weekend I've had an annoying cold again that seriously getting on my tits today. I'm almost convinced I got this from the ants too!